for @buttterfly - post-tfln

[taeru]

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[buttterfly]

The rain pounds harder against the glass. And Rin can't even hear it through all the noise.

The shatter of porcelain. The gasp from someone that slips between their slotted mouths. The thuds against the wall. Rin smirks to himself. Where's Ai's smart mouth about his neighbors now? Throwing small pocket books against the wall doesn't fly, but bodies slamming into walls is another story entirely. He's drinking everything in, trying to deepen it way too fast. His breath hitches when Ai's palm coats his collar, rips a shiver straight out of him.

Because then it's painstakingly soft. And that just fans the flames more.

Rin yanks his mouth away, teeth digging into his bottom lip. He doesn't answer right away, desperately sucking in air, his lungs burning. Coupled with the intensity, it's like going breathless in a 50m. Does this make you better? He almost laughs. Cohesive thought has long since melted away, only leaving whatever this husk is in its wake. What makes anything better?

His fingers are still tight in the front of Ai's shirt. And so he preys on vulnerability, arching his chest against Ai's hand with a small noise, sucked in behind his teeth. Rin knows he has a body that makes people stare sometimes. He knew how to use it with Haru. He can use it with other people too. Ai didn't shove him away right away, bite his lip, punch him, hit him, so--

"You think people do it for anything else?" He leans in, letting his lips flutter across Ai's with every punctuated word. Before diving back in, immediately dragging his tongue across the seam of Ai's lips with a punched out noise.

[taeru]

His pulse thrums so loudly between his ears he can barely even hear Rin's retort. Barely registers the slant there for a moment. Ai is caught in the tempest, which may have been Rin's outset; to prove a point. To attain means to an end. Unfortunately for the both of them, Ai was only human. He tried to be good and tried to do right, but for the first time in their mutual lives, Rin has forced his hand and made it feel borderline impossible for Ai to choose the high road.

He is selfish. And if this is the only way Rin would come to kiss him, to touch him, to want him in any capacity, then Ai is selfish and desperate and self-flagellating enough to take it.

For a moment he's barely responding; he's processing. Figuring out the feet on which he's standing so he knows how to appropriately berate himself later. Negotiating with himself what part of this could be emotionally, morally slightly less tenuous so as to convince himself he's still acting in Rin's interest. And-- well.

You think people do it for anything else? The words finally register in Ai's mental chasm; his palm finally twitches back to life, feeling Rin arching his chest to encourage its touch, eliciting a shuddered breath from Ai. Finally engages with his lips after his false start. Ai surges forward all at once; both hands clamber up into Rin's hair, one cupping the back of his jaw and strands of crimson between his fingers, the other weaseling between Rin's head and the wall to take a fist-full of his hair and tug. It's a desperate, needy move; his tongue roams over Rin's, laps at his bottom lip, starved.

"I can think of a few reasons." Ai rolls his body forward, chest-to-chest. His thigh hikes between Rin's, and Ai's hand flexes in his hair. It isn't a command; it's a beckon. Come to me. Let me show you what love takes from us when it's had its way. Ai resolves to meet Rin, but not with claws; not with hate, anger, hurt. But with a prostrate devotion. Resolute to throw his heart down onto the tile amongst the porcelain too if he can prove to Rin that there is so much more than this.

[buttterfly]

Ai finally--finally--surges up to meet him. And it knocks any cohesive thought right out of him. There's no trickles of storms and boats and eyes too blue for this world. All he can focus on is those fingers tight against his scalp, dragging him closer, that tongue carefully matching the ministrations of his own. And Rin fucking whines.

Deep down, there's some blurred haze that yes, this is exactly what he was talking about in second year. Ai has always had the volition and versatility to do whatever he puts his mind to. It's why Rin made him the Samezuka Captain in his stead. It's why Ai is diligently lapping at Rin's bottom lip like he was made for it.

Rin hears the words, and it just rips another noise out of him. Something desperate and bubbling to the surface. His hips jerk at the leg suddenly between his own. Because Ai is just a siren's call now, beckoning Rin in. And he can't refuse. Not when his sleep addled brain is so festered with misery and rain. Ai's offering him the out he's been craving for months now. The thing that jerking off in your roommate's shower will never quite stand up against.

Instead, he easily parts his legs, sinking down onto Ai's thigh with a shuddering gasp, and grinds against it. Just for a moment just enough to feel that friction that makes everything feel like it's on fire. He's quick to abandon the hold he has on Ai's shirt, moving to drape his arms around Ai's neck and drag him in closer.

[taeru]

A low, heavy groan tears itself up from the depths of Ai's throat when he feels Rin sink his weight down against Ai's thigh, chasing the obvious friction; already seeing Rin so desperate for the raft Ai is trying to throw him. He's hungry, too; wants to indulge on that which he's neglected himself of for four fucking years. Sitting on his hands obediently, denying his deepest sentiments nobly. Excuse after excuse for never pursuing, never rocking the boat, never changing. Maybe Rin had been right earlier, after all. Maybe it's worth it despite it all.

His hands and lips both begin to wander; lips heady at the corner of Rin's, and then his jaw, kissing a roving line of heat to behind his ear, and then his nape, and then his jugular. Their slight height difference gives Ai a minor advantage, making it incredibly easy to nip at the prominent line of the vein against Rin's skin by simply nosing at Rin's jaw to get him to expose it. His hands meanwhile both fall down to Rin's hips, greedy in the way they grip him, fingertips curling into the fabric of his sleep pants where they hug him there. One of his hands goes rogue; it climbs up the line of Rin's abdomen and belly, under the hem of his shirt, his touch slow yet heavy.

The way he touches Rin, maps his body and lips is almost meticulous. It is as much seeking to stimulate Rin, get him out of his head and present in his body, as it is feeding Ai's desires - as if he is making up for lost time. He breathes hot and desperate back up against Rin's lips before nosing far too gently, sweetly against his cheek.

"Not here," Ai murmurs, referring to the kitchen and its current disarray, "You'll hurt yourself." The hand on Rin's hip slides to his lower back, encouraging him off the wall.

[buttterfly]

Ai's mouth and hands are everywhere all at once. Rin hisses when his mouth drops to his neck, obediently tipping his head whatever way he can. He jolts at the kiss behind his ear, his stomach arching into Ai's hand with a shallow whine. It's like Ai is mapping Rin out, inch by inch, meticulously carving out every detail in his head.

It's not the outcome Rin was anticipating. But he's too strung along in whatever this is to care.

Because it's evident by Ai's breath rolling against his mouth that he's into whatever this is equally. Ai was the one who said friends with benefits was something he had already indulged in. What was another one of those? If Ai and Sousuke could get down and dirty through the stress of high school exams, nationals, whatever--then Rin and Ai could with whatever mental chaos Rin is currently tangled in.

Except the touch is almost sweet in the way it lingers. Rin grits his teeth at the tender way Ai presses against his cheek, and tosses his gaze to the side, fingers digging into Ai's hair as he pants. But what if Rin wants to hurt himself? Feel that slip of porcelain digging into his skin, making him bleed everywhere? He almost craves it. So much so he fucking whines when Ai's hand is on his back.

And all Rin can do in response is lean in to drag his teeth along Ai's earlobe, letting one hand drop to grab at Ai's pants and knock their hips together for a moment. He shudders and another heavy noise rolls out of him.

"You and Sousuke always do it in bed too?" He laughs heavily, pressing a wet kiss against Ai's neck, dragging his tongue along pale skin in the wake of it. He bumps their hips together again. "Precious."

[taeru]

Ai knows intrinsically and holistically this isn't what Rin expected and certainly not what he wanted. Ai refuses to indulge him in such a way; it was antithetical to the very core of their relationship, brushed against the pile of their foundation, and antithetical to how Ai functioned as a human being. He'd bite into, spill blood with, mark up Rin all he likes under any other circumstance, but not like this. Ai fundamentally could not meet Rin with that visceral, undulating fury; it wasn't in him. There were ways he could be broken, but this wasn't it.

"Nnh," he exhales in a hot shudder, Rin's teeth - the very same he's imagined claiming his body many, many times over - ghosting over the skin of his earlobe. Ai moans something indecent, though, when Rin presses them together; Ai's hand tightens its grip on Rin's hip, blunt fingernails carving shallow crescents into Rin's exposed skin just above his waistband as Ai rather unabashedly grinds back against him.

Similar to Rin, Ai's neck is fully prostrate for him the moment Rin's lips come against it, inviting him. It and the friction between their hips earn another heady breath out of him, but the tail end of that sigh is almost frustrated.

"Don't talk about Sousuke-senpai now," comes the heated mutter. Or anyone else for that matter. Both of his hands come to the sides of Rin's jaw to force him center again, taking his lips heavily; Ai nips Rin's top lip, and for a moment licks past his bottom, kissing into him. "This is nowhere near the same thing."

Ai tries again, hands dipping down the length of Rin's body. They're heavy and greedy in their touch, mapping him from the back of his shoulders and down his spine, wrinkling and dragging the fabric of his shirt with every inch descended. Both hands land on the globes of Rin's ass, where Ai again tries to encourage Rin off the wall, pulling forward, in so doing also forcing their hips together again.

[buttterfly]

He knows he's struck a nerve. Ai might refuse to indulge him in such a manner, but that doesn't stop him from letting things fester under his skin. Make Ai consider things in all manners. He's not here for soft. He's here for whatever tone just slipped past Ai's lips. Just like Rin weaseled his way into this situation, he can keep prodding the bear.

So to speak, at least.

Ai is licking into Rin's mouth again, and he presses back, with another pointed roll of his hips. The friction is dizzying, and Rin nips Ai's tongue in the process. He doesn't know where Ai intends to take him. Rin's futon, the shower, his bed. Rin cracks open one eye to take in the futon, and decides maybe there is best. Lest he sully Ai's memory of his own mattress once the inevitable kicking out happens after all this is over. It's fine. Rin can take it.

He arches and grinds into the lines of Ai, pulling off his mouth to drag his teeth along his bottom lip. Rin's expression is downright wicked. He swears somewhere he tastes blood, unsure and uncaring of who's it is at this point. He drops his hand a little further, pressing against Ai's ass to keep the friction between them more heated. He smirks.

"Sousuke-senpai. Cute that you still call him that, even talking about this lewd shit." Rin twists his fingers in Ai's hair, dropping his mouth to suck and nip a particularly dark spot against his neck. An angry looking brand. Something Rin can stare at. His dirty work, embodied into something so stark and angry looking. All while his words match his ministrations.

"I wonder if I call him that next, he'll toss me over a mattress too."

Ew. Rin very much does not want to sleep with his best friend, thanks. He and Sousuke are too familiar with one another in every capacity. But the words fan the flames, so to speak. And he's fine with lighting a fire under Ai to make that happen.

[taeru]

Rin's finally relenting, and so Ai walks himself backward out of the kitchen and keeps Rin close as he does so. Desperate as he is to get away from still-hot liquid and porcelain, he's also presently a slave to his senses, and can't seem to let himself depart Rin's touch for longer than a milisecond; every step backward is met with lips seeking out a new spot of skin to kiss, to nip. Hands shifting from Rin's ass to his back, his hips, the straps of his tank top to tug him ever closer.

"I call you Rin-senpai. It's respect." His tone is direct, and sharp, and a little breathless. Ai's eyes flash open, and his gaze is heavy. Trying so hard not to let himself be goaded and negged, but Rin is making it so hard to remain the responsible one. Despite himself, his frustration and his latent indignation, the way Rin marks him rips a moan straight out of his throat, eyebrows knit and head lolled back. For a moment he bites into his bottom lip harshly; it hurt, but it felt so god damn good.

His following exhale is an attempt at recollecting his coherency.

"And yet you came to me, so what does that say?"

He finally feels the back of his heel shift against the edge of Rin's futon. And feels his blood boiling hot, raising from his stomach up into his head like a geyser. With a force he didn't know himself to be capable of - a grip on Rin's shirt that yanks and jostles him so harshly Ai hears a seam snap - Ai doesn't so much encourage Rin down onto the futon as he does make it a point to get him down there and quickly; he's switched their positions so Rin's back is facing the futon, Ai pressing his entire body forward, suspending Rin by the straps of his tank top as if threatening to just let go. If he were a lesser person and had more muscle mass, he may have just thrown Rin down and been done with it.

[buttterfly]

There's the sting.

It's not just being dangled, like some fragile ragdoll. It's not the way his breath hitches at the action, or how the intensity in Ai's gaze surely mirrors Rin's own. It's those words. Etched into his bloodstream, with how fast his heart is slamming against his ribs. It's cardiac arrest how Ai knows precisely which buttons to press. Almost better than Rin knows himself.

His eyes are wide. Because it's true.

What does that say??

He told Sousuke after Ai, after moving in with him and crashing on his floor. Sousuke didn't make any special commentary towards it. But he knew to stop asking about Australia enough that he had an inkling. Maybe there was even a light offer once or twice for Rin to stay with him. But Rin wouldn't have any part in that. Living with Sousuke and his brother sounded like a fucking horrible idea. So many questions he wasn't prepared for.

And he thought he might escape them here too. What a fucking joke. Maybe then he wouldn't be being strung along to his futon, dangling over it with Ai leering into him like a fucking predator. Rin grits his teeth, one hand flying to Ai's wrist, nails punctuating with a dig into that tender flesh around his pulsepoint.

"Is that what you think?"

Rin laughs, such a deprecating thing to slip past him. He ventures to say that fucking name for the first time in weeks. Rin tries to yank at Ai's shirt, dragging him closer, closing that distance, wanting the mattress to swallow him whole and suffocate him at this point.

"You think if I scream his name, you'll still come?" Rin is desperate for some touch, somewhere--anywhere. And so he feeds into this fucking mess he's created with a punctuated moan. Something he knows will linger, and he stares Ai right in the face to see that when it comes.

"Sou-senpai," He whines first, accentuating on that little hitch in Sousuke's name. But the next one is just downright cruel. He knows it. He does it anyways. All breathy and moaning and punctuated around the thick syllables coating his tongue. "Ha-ruka."

[taeru]

He was an idiot for thinking Rin would play fair. He was angry, but not spiteful - why would he be? Ai's worst sin was sparing him too much clemency. Weaseling under his skin.

There is so much that is said in what isn't, the silence flanking the words that drip off Rin's tongue like acid. He might not know everything, but he knows enough to identify and exploit Ai's bigger insecurities. Ai thinks Rin even looks and sounds proud of himself, too, as if finding Ai's weak spot was some grandiose achievement.

His movement feels like molasses as he settles between Rin's legs, shifting forward to force Rin's thighs up and over his own. Ai isn't looking at Rin as much as through him, mind momentarily wiped blank as if shutting down the whole system might prevent further decay.

Truthfully? He wants to cry. Scream, even. Break a second mug, this time on purpose. Rin may catch the flash of genuine vulnerability and hurt in the immediate wake after his needling. But then Ai feels it again, the slow, rumbling boil of his blood, culminating low in his guttural pit before spewing up the length of his spine and his throat and to his extremities. Rin has failed to calculate for Ai's simultaneous best and worst trait: his endurance. And he'd sooner fuck the smirk off Rin's face before letting him think for a second he's gotten the rise out of Ai he thinks he wants. Ai could handle worse than this.

One hand smooths over Rin's thigh; the other, for only a fleeting and feather-light moment, ghosts over the silhouette of his groin. Then both hands hold Rin's hips, keeping him steady as Ai grinds his hips forward, rhythmic and slow and nowhere near the fever pitch he knows Rin wants. Ai still had a point to make. His eyes fixate on Rin's stomach, exposed by his shirt having ridden up a little; Ai can't bring himself to look Rin in the eye anymore.

"You can call me whatever you'd like."

[buttterfly]

It’s not like Rin is completely oblivious to his nature. His utter talent in causing himself and those around him misfortune in these tumultuous times. He takes in AI’s expression behind narrowed eyes, and funneled irises.

Because Ai doesn’t give in. And maybe that’s the worst part. The hurt is there, but the rebuttal—the rise—is completely absent.

Rin bites his lip, focusing on AI’s half hidden expression, shadowed behind him staring at Rin’s stomach. Maybe there’s a flutter of regret. Or maybe it’s anger that Ai isn’t rising to his bait. Instead just manhandling him into a more pliant position, rolling their hips together. Rin scoffs, damn near biting through his tongue.

Ai just says that equally horrible thing. And it serves Rin right. He glares at Ai, reaching to tangle his fingers in AI’s hair and forcing his gaze up back towards him.

”Whatever.” He huffs, a tone similar to a child not getting his way. Because Ai just rolls his hips infuriatingly well again, and that pulls another moan from Rin’s lips. He tries hooking a leg around Ai to drag him closer.

[taeru]

He exhales harshly at Rin's strong hand in his hair again, forcing his gaze; Ai catches it, as much as he doesn't want to. There's a determination in his eyes, but it's heavy and almost hollow, almost like a sick martyrdom.

Leaning forward like this, he lets go of Rin's hips with one of his hands to cup the side of Rin's jaw instead, knuckles against the mattress and helping a bit to support the center of his body weight. His hands slide back into Rin's hair, and as he does, he kisses Rin again. It's hard; voracious. As if mutually choking on tongues might shut Rin up long enough for Ai to regain his emotional composure, to be where his body is again, and not somewhere miles away. It's also a convenient excuse not to have to meet his gaze, either.

A soft moan is exhaled hotly directly onto Rin's tongue, feeling the way he hooks his leg around Ai; his fingers tighten in Rin's hair, strongly fisting red strands at the base of Rin's neck, shamelessly slotting their bodies together such that even through the fabric between them, Ai can still feel their cocks rutting against one another. It's a hot, delicious warmth, a heat that can go toe-to-toe with the other much less impressive, much more pathetic heat - of shame, hurt, weakness, and rebound - that keeps threatening to spill forth from his core, over and over.

Would he suck you off? Would he bend you over? Would you retaliate? Ah, I can't stand this. He tried so god damn hard not to think about Haruka, or even Sousuke, but Rin's planted that seed, and now Ai is trying desperately to outrun his own insecurities and is losing. Frustrated with himself; none of this is enough, suddenly. He kisses the underside of Rin's jaw, and then bites as he slips his hand under the hem of Rin's sleep pants.

[buttterfly]

Tenderness is something foreign. It’s not like Haru was never nice to him. But what words and laps in the pool couldn’t solve, sex could.

Ai is infuriatingly tender. Something Rin doesn’t deserve. Especially not now. Rin shivers under the brush against his jaw, before Ai’s mouth shuts him up. Rin whines against the slide of Ai’s tongue, sucking it down as far as he can.

His hips buck up against Ai’s, eagerly grinding their cocks together. The chafe and drag of fabric against them makes him moan.

The teeth in his neck rip a gasp out of him. Something so gut wrenching, he arches his neck, fingers digging into Ai’s scalp. Keeping his mouth there. His neck is arguably one of the most sensitive spaces on him.

But Ai has his hand under Rin’s pants now, and his hips buck. Ai’s hand feels cold, but it’s exactly what he needs. Rin bites his lip, shuddering.

”Shit—“

He hates how he sounds. Hates how needy his body is for something so venomous and dripping. He can’t help it though. It’s all he knows how to do.

[taeru]

There is at least one emotion that isn't complicated among all of this, and it is the pride he feels at eliciting noises like that out of Rin. Even after all the dust has settled, regardless of how many pieces he'll have to pick up off the floor, he will at least have this one unanimously good memory he can tuck away in his mental locket later.

He laps at the pluming red mark he's left at the juncture of Rin's nape and his jaw, swallowing down a vaguely copper taste. He's conscientious like that, planting it where Rin's hair can easily obfuscate it, even if Rin presently didn't have much company to hide it from anyway. With Rin's grip on his hair Ai can't shift too much, but he can trail down Rin's neck, and he's eager to besides - they both shared this sensitivity, and it turns out Ai likes giving it as much as he does receiving it. The bites and nips that follow are softer, not meant to last; they won't turn purple and yellow in an hour's time, they will be gone before the sun sets again. But they're each little vents of Ai's messed up feelings, every bit as impermanent and easily shrugged off as he feels he is.

Lithe fingers trace down the bare skin of Rin's pelvis and the defined musculature of his upper inner thigh; it's smooth, yet firm. An athlete's build, and it causes Ai's cock to twitch in his own pants, breath exhaled in a heavy lilt at coming so close to Rin. Circumstance and context be damned, it still shot a thrill through his entire system.

Ai turns his wrist up and palms full-bodied along Rin's shaft, less stroking him as much as he's kneading him, base to tip. Drawing more of Rin out, and more of those little noises too. It's in a set rhythm, slow and unhurried, matching that of the way he is still grinding against him too, even if the friction is presently lost on account of his hand in the way.

He mumbles against Rin's neck, "You feel good. I want to see you, too." He subconsciously does not even address Rin by name, even though he normally would. Whether a sensitivity thanks to Rin's taunting or an unintentional decision to leave enough room for Rin to project without a 'senpai' ruining it is anyone's guess.

[buttterfly]

There's a certain affinity for praising phrases. Rin stares up at the ceiling as Ai whispers against his neck. Both legs slam around Ai's waist, he doesn't know what else to do but that and whine uncontrollably.

His hips buck against Ai's touch, every array of curse in english slipping out past his lips. He finally lets go of Ai's hair, hands dragging down the back of his neck. Pointedly raking his nails down just a little bit.

Just a little payback for that praising comment that makes him so fucking hard he can't think straight.

"Fuck, Ai--" It's awkward. But he feels awkward and stupid just sitting here, letting Ai do all the dirty work. Much as he appreciates it, Rin begins to squirm underneath him, slowly dragging his body downwards. His hand squeezes Ai's ass for a quick moment before snaking back around. It's awkward, and stupid and he pushes Ai's shirt up a little, dragging his tongue down his stomach as he scooches himself further down.

Giving head sounds great right now. Gives him something to do. Chokes him out a little. Everyone wins. Rin smirks as he tries fumbling with Ai's belt.

"Wanna show me how good you feel?"

[taeru]

His own name on a breathless exhale - Rin taught him that expletive years ago - is yet another one for his memory books. He can't even be upset at the loss of heat as Rin begins to quite awkwardly shift down the length of his body, riding the high of getting Rin riled up. Even if the circumstance leaves his heart hanging heavily, his body at least is cemented in the present, reactive and eager.

He sucks in a breath when Rin gives his ass a drive-by squeeze, and then holds his weight on his palms and looks down under his own chest to watch Rin continue retreating away. Shivers at feeling Rin's tongue over his skin, hot to the touch, and knowing exactly where Rin intends to bring that tongue of his causes a molten heat to churn in his gut, dick twitching preemptively in anticipation.

Their position is a little awkward like this, and Ai isn't intent on watching Rin give him head upside down. Seeing how the drawstring on his pants gives Rin trouble, Ai takes the opportunity to at least rise up onto his knees, in front of Rin's face. Looks down at the breathtaking visage of Rin hoisted up between his thighs, eager for access. Ai bites his bottom lip.

His feelings are complicated, and there's a part of him that is persistently insecure physically, but being bare for Rin was an inevitability. Ai reaches down, gently slides his hands under Rin's, and does him the mercy of untying his own pants and shoving them and his underwear down just enough to free his dick. Rin would find he's already fully hard, painfully rod-straight with built anticipation. He's in all ways perfectly proportionate and clean shaven - no surprises for Rin there.

Then he slides a hand into Rin's hair, at first moving some strands away from his face to look at him better, tucking some behind his ear. Holding them at the crown of his head, an encouraging touch. Heat pools in his gut again, and Ai subtly brings his hips forward.

"Please don't just stare," he mutters in a quick and embarrassed exhale, cockhead sliding along Rin's chin.

i dont have enough dick sucking icons and it shows

[buttterfly]

It's not like wastes anytime. Too desperate to blot out the rain slamming against the building, and too anxiously aware of the precarious position he's put them in. It's not like it matters. Ai's done this before, no strings attached. Why would it be any different with Rin?

One hand slides around to make Ai's fingers grip his hair tighter. If he won't help Rin slip into the disassociation or putrid self loathing, Rin will just do it to himself. He opens his mouth, mindful of his teeth and sinks onto Ai's dick wordlessly.

Wordlessly, but not quietly. His other hand grips him at the base, as he glides his mouth downwards. It's a choir of moans and vibrations, as he hollows out his throat and seats Ai's cock straight down. Rin pulls back almost instantly with a small gasp, before pushing it straight back down. It's sloppy, and suffocating. But it's all he wants. Rin whines around Ai's shaft, feeling that familiar sting in the corners of his eyes.

He blinks it away before squeezing his eyes shut, as he repeats the motion over. And over. And over again, encouraging Ai to use his hair as a handle, grip it as tight as possible, make him feel something. Anything.

we get creative

[taeru]

He's awestruck. It's a bizarre feeling to be paired with the rest of them already in his system, hurt and crestfallen resignation now taking up post right beside misplaced pride and awe. But the way Rin takes his cock into his mouth and his throat and does it eagerly leaves Ai with blown pupils and a mouth agape on a moan choked so far back on his tongue it doesn't quite reach their ears at first.

Then his head is lolling backward, thigh muscles tensing at the overwhelming warmth proliferating from his gut, and the fingers in Rin's hair, of their own accord, grip tight. The belated moan finally tears itself from Ai's throat, gasped and then attempted to swallow it back down; his free hand chases up toward his face to press the side of his wrist to his mouth. He isn't shy - he just doesn't want to give in too quickly.

"God," he exhales, finding his hand in Rin's hair is encouraging his movements; it's shifted to cup the back of his skull, crimson hair wild between his knuckles, pushing him forward just a little on every reciprocal bob of his head. And shallowly, with eyes rapt on his dick disappearing behind Rin's mouth, he rolls his hips forward on that same cadence. He'd worry he's hurting Rin if not for the fact Rin started on this brutal pace.

His other hand shifts away from his mouth and pushes his own hair back, eyebrows knit. "Not too much," he groans breathlessly, "I still-- I'm not done yet."

[buttterfly]

If the only thing Rin will be remembered for is his mouth--whether it's sucking dick or mouthing off--it would be an appropriate end.

He can feel everything in Ai tense up, and he wonders for a split second if he's really about to tumble over for something so simple. But then that hand in his hair tightens, and it rips a noise out of him that isn't orchestrated. Instead, entirely organic and he has swallow around Ai's dick just to take the edge off.

His throat is going to be raw tomorrow, and he just doesn't care. That burn an indication that whatever this is happened, and Rin isn't just some ghost on the blip of existence. Though maybe that's all he is to his friends. The Iwatobi ones at least.

The thought of his friends turns his ministrations a little more calculated, and he twists his mouth in some smug tilt, pulling back just enough to keep tonguing the head of Ai's dick. His breathing ragged, fist clenched around the base as he mutters.

"Didn't strike me as a one and done guy." Rin laughs, just short of mocking, as he wraps his lips around the head and groans, tonguing the slit ever so charismatically. Enough to drive any sex fiend mad, let alone someone who probably hadn't had sex since his friends with benefits stint in high school.

"But if that's all you've got, I can take care of it myself."

And Rin is cruel. He's wicked when he's like this. Because he's reaching behind himself, pushing his hand between the futon and his ass to press against himself through fabric. All with an accentuated noise as he plunged back down on Ai's cock.

[taeru]

So it really wasn't about that at all, Ai realizes. In all of this, he's incidental; whether or not he gets off, multiple times even. It's all a means to an end for Rin, who is following his own through-line. I'm not even a stand-in. Ai isn't sure if this makes him feel better or worse.

But the way Rin works his cock, tonguing his tip and causing Ai's breath to hitch and precum to bead, it's evident his body at the very least couldn't care what circumstance they were in. Fine, he thinks absently. Stamina was never his problem anyway.

"Don't," he exhales, thick and lascivious, watching Rin's free hand disappear behind his own body, giving Ai one of the most beautiful and cruel visuals he's ever had in his life. He had been so ready to surrender to Rin for now, but not at this expense; the hand in Rin's hair tightens and yanks, very gracelessly and harshly pulling Rin off from him. Forcing his head back to look up at Ai, who looks-- resigned. Yet determined. And all too hot under the collar.

His hand remains tight at the base of Rin's skull so as to keep Rin's head pulled back, looking up at him; of course, Rin could easily overpower him if he chose, but Ai has a hunch he won't. Like this, Ai's free hand slides to Rin's lips; his thumb pads at his lower lip, presses under his top lip. Smooths over one of his canines. And then his middle and index rest on Rin's bottom lip, silently demanding the obvious.

"You're being selfish." There's a vulnerable edge to his words; he doesn't just mean Rin touching himself. He doesn't mean for it to sound that way; unfortunately, Ai was never very good at lying. Despite just having had his cock down Rin's throat, it's only now he blushes, "Do you want me to touch you or not?"

[buttterfly]

The whine that is pulled out of him is something so genuine. Rin forgets his facade temporarily as Ai yanks him off of his dick. Did he push too far maybe? Not that it matters, Ai will kick him out after this is all said and done anyways--

That determined gaze smolders into him though, and Rin is temporarily dumbstruck. He stares up at Ai wide-eyed, and before he knows it there's fingers against his mouth. It's instinctual to let his jaw drop, slide his tongue across those digits. Absolutely lavishing them. His chin is already sticky and wet, but he lets some dribble pool up and over his lips. Letting his eyes hood, diligently working the fingers.

It carries on like that for a few moments, Rin acting similarly towards Ai's fingertips that he did with his dick. Maybe a little moreso now, since he can make a bit of a show out of it. His own dick is aching in his pants. He tightens his thighs together a little, just to take the edge off.

Rin yanks his mouth off of Ai's fingertips, carefully swallowing around his words. Now this can bring a little embarrassment. Because the implications of it could be taken a zillion and one different ways. Some could be accurate, others could... not so much. Rin licks his lips, leaning forward to nip at Ai's stomach, dragging his tongue against the skin immediately after.

"My bag." He pants, squeezing his eyes shut. Whether it's from shame, or just being caught like a kid with his hand in a candy jar. "There's some--"

The implication is clear, and his face burns. Which is stupid given his whole tough guy slutty act until about five milliseconds ago. But that little bottle of lube is stuffed at the bottom of his bag. It's his, just enough to take the edge off some days when his head is screaming so loud he can't shut it off. It's strawberry scented. It's absolutely not girly. It's just. Something different.

[taeru]

There is a universal truth about Matsuoka Rin, which is that he doesn't half-ass anything. Swimming, academics, friendships - sex, apparently. The way he goes at Ai's fingers hits his molten center coil in the same exact way Rin sucking him off did, a visual and tactical sensation so poignant it might make lesser men come on the spot. Rin's playful nip at the sensitive skin of his stomach immediately has his abdomen muscles twitching, not helping either.

Suddenly Rin's stopping though, and-- hesitating? It's the first time since they both meandered into the kitchen that Rin's looked-- I can't place his expression. Apprehensive? Unsure?--

"Ah." No, Ai doesn't cast judgment, because the other option was trekking half-way across the apartment to fetch his own (which was unscented and unremarkable) and Rin's just saved them both some time and awkward pause. He leans down, kisses Rin's lips once - it's too sweet, it's too intimate, and Ai's done it thoughtlessly - before shuffling just off the futon and to Rin's bag. He pauses though, looking behind him to Rin. Am I allowed to--? He just told you to!

He rummages, saying many mental apologies, and all the way at the bottom and toward the back of Rin's bag is, indeed, a vial of lubricant. Ai wastes no time in coming back to Rin, shuffling toward him on his knees; Ai's leaning over him some, encouraging Rin on his back. One hand shifting Rin's shirt up to expose his stomach and abdomen, admiring the visual feast before him, roaming over the expanse of athletic and strong muscle with an ardent devotion to his touch. Ai sucks in a breath to stay himself, then ducks down toward Rin's hemline, hooking a thumb into his pants and beginning to tug, lower. And lower still. Ai exposes Rin's cock, a hungry and awed look in his eyes, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. Tugs down further until the fabric pools below Rin's knees, leaving it up to him or not whether he kicks them off.

His hand splays open Rin's thighs, palm running under the v-line of his pelvis, over the base of his cock, momentarily kneading his sack. The other hand uncaps the vial with his thumb where Ai is holding it just beside himself--

He takes a whiff, stunned by how fragrant it is. He doesn't mean for it to hit him so hard, but considering the boring, label-less stuff he's used to...

"I thought you didn't like sweet?"

[buttterfly]

He shrinks a little under the kiss. Only because it's not what he wants, nor what he was expecting. But--

Ai retrieves the bottle easily enough, and Rin can shove that awkwardness behind him as he is lowered against the futon. Ai is diligently exploring and roving over his body, and Rin can't help but sink his teeth into his lip. Haru always lavished him, even during the messier clashes of teeth and tongues. Rin's face burns a little, and he tosses his gaze to the side, slinging his arm over his eyes.

As if that could shut the memory out completely.

His hips arch, aiding Ai shucking his pants off. He knows he's staring, he can feel those eyes boring into him while he kicks off his pants awkwardly. He really just wants Ai to barely prep him, fuck him and get his rocks off. It's all he deserves after all, and...

"Huh?" He grimaces, dropping his arm from his eyes if only to bite at the skin of the back of his hand. It does little to stop the noise that follows, the embarrassed and whiny thing.

"...shut up." Rin bites out, covering his eyes again, bucking his hips.

[taeru]

Despite all, Ai cannot help the smile that cuts across his face, Rin's suddenly contrarian attitude just like him. Feels Rin buck his hips forward, and Ai placates him by rubbing his inner thigh.

He knows Rin's mind isn't here, hasn't been the whole time. Ai isn't delusional. He'll do what Rin wants, and will allow himself the grace of at least being able to say they've slept together. It's more than he thought he'd ever get circa ~an hour ago. It still stings, of course; sits lower in his belly than his heat does, his arousal only barely keeping it from washing over him. In a way, he kind of understands why Rin is doing all of this in the first place.

He pours the lube into his palm, warms it; spreads it over his fingers. Grips Rin's dick first, just to memorize the feeling of its weight in his palm properly. Strokes him a handful of times languidly; lazily. Ai shifts up, body hovering over Rin's; his hand shifts from Rin's length to his waist, and then under his thigh, urging his legs back and his hips up.

There is a confidence in the way Ai's finger pad presses to Rin's ass, spreading liquid slick over the taut skin, unafraid to tease at him there. Fingers roving over his sensitive entrance, playing as though he'll press in, but then retreating again. Ai swallows hard; it was getting him worked up, too. He kisses Rin hard on the lips, just for a moment; then noses his head to the side to gain access to his neck, kisses down to his clavicle.

Tracing Rin's pulse point with his tongue, Ai effortlessly slides a finger in, other hand hooked under Rin's knee and pressing it back against his chest.

[buttterfly]

He wants to bite out that he doesn't deserve the consideration or niceties. The tender touch against his thigh, or the anguishingly slow stroke of his cock. Rin curses under his breath, his body betraying him as he grabs onto Ai, dragging him closer.

His leg moves up, his hips bucking with another unbridled shudder. He instinctively wraps his free leg around Ai again, pulling him closer. All while his fingers dig into Ai's scalp. Because that unsung confidence is doing something to him. Something that Rin hates.

There's some eagerness for it, the way that finger presses against him so seamlessly. Rin gasps, and he bites his lip. This wasn't meant to be sexy, the way Ai embodies just acting like he knows it all. He looks at Ai from a hooded gaze, tilting his head back to give the access to his neck. He lets slip another curse in slurred english, his body sucking Ai's finger in.

"Ai--" He hisses, digging his nails into his scalp a little harder. That wet slip of tongue against his neck does wicked things to him. Fuck anyone who's ever said Ai is some meek little nobody. Maybe Rin should bring this up at some point to Sousuke. He swallows that thought down as quickly as it flares up, he thinks as he grits his teeth.

Ai is nothing to be ashamed of, sure. But Rin?