for @buttterfly - post-tfln

[taeru]

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[taeru]

Ai follows Sousuke's gaze, wears that same unreadable expression. Sousuke has had time to make his peace with it - Ai might not have, but he has spent the better part of four years dutifully keeping it all under wraps. It's what enables him to not completely lose his shit now despite the odds. He may not have experience in heartbreak, but he does in keeping his composure, which is something.

"I'm okay." He looks up to Sousuke, as if to ask, will you be alright?, but figures if Sousuke is asking, then he's already made his moment's peace. A little reluctantly, Ai leans away from Sousuke and off the wall. Pats his cheeks, ruffles his fringe to even it out. Resigns to the fact his eyes are probably still red, but there's not much he can do about that.

Ai begins walking first after taking a slow, deep breath.

"We'll have to get home somehow anyway. Come on, Sousuke-senpai." Looks over his shoulder, smile painfully forced but it's also not for Sousuke's sake either, "Maybe once the dust is settled, I can come over for drinks. No bar required."

[monollith]

"Last I checked, trains and cabs haven't gone out of style."

He pushes off the wall in turn, not notating the way he can see Ai's eyes puffy and red. It's understandable. He kind of hopes Ai and Rin get their shit out of the way. Much as he can sympathize with both of them, Rin's kind of an asshole at the end of the day. But Ai knows what he's fallen for, after all. If what he's heard about their first year together isn't enough to drive Ai away, well.

"You all only call me now because I have a car." It's totally a joke. He's not being serious. Being a pack mule just kind of comes with the territory of being one of the only people in your friend group with a vehicle. Picking up Natsuya's drunk ass constantly, Kisumi crawling into the backseat begging for a ride, finding Haru slumped over after jogging at five am and driving him home...

"You're welcome anytime."

[saaba]

The moment he saw Rin absolutely tank, he knew it was over.

There wasn't going to be anymore awkward exchanges or toeing around things like they had never happened before. The moment Nitori confessed what had transpired, urging Haru to close that gap that Rin had so haphazardly erected between them, Haru couldn't keep away.

He watches Ai and Sousuke depart, slumping a little at the way Nitori much tried to pretend what was happening in front of him was in fact not. Rin turns around on his stomach, arms crossed, legs bent and tilted up because he wouldn't fit across the backseat otherwise. Haru raises a brow.

"You look like a teenage girl about to gossip." Rin scoffs at the words, and just raps his knuckles against Haru's arm. It's quiet for a moment, the only sounds muffled tires and whispers of people walking to their vehicles in the distance.

"...you don't have to tell me you know." He can visibly watch the lines in Rin's body tense up. Like he's unconsciously trying to shift so Haru can't see his neck. Haru rolls his eyes, and just pinches Rin's wrist. Who hisses (what was Ikuya saying about acting like a cat earlier?) and snatches it back like Haru burned him.

"What are you. What do you mean?" Haru just looks at Rin, before shifting his gaze to the floor mat.

"Nitori told me." Rin looks like he's about to cry. Not exactly what he was aiming for, so Haru clarifies. "It's fine. I'm not upset. I don't know, or care what happened."

He can see Rin try to avoid eye contact, burying his face against his arms instead. Haru doesn't push, he just lets his own head rest on his crossed arms, shifting a little because kneeling is not very comfortable. But Azuma would probably say it's good for him or something. Rin sucks in a little breath, pushing his fingers into his hair.

"Haru..."

"I said it's fine." Haru pauses for a moment. "I was just worried. Yamazaki texted me that you disappeared, and I didn't even know you were back." It's an open ended question. Rin doesn't have to answer anything he doesn't want to. But he can see the gears turning, as Rin tries to put a little effort into explaining.

"Look, it was just messy. You know me, hard to face the music." Rin is quiet for a moment before he continues. "Sorry. For not telling you guys I was back. I didn't want anyone knowing."

Haru nods, like it's fine and the most perfectly normal thing in the world. He's not going to pry and ask Rin why he thought not texting his friends was a good idea when he came home, but he figures Rin had a reason. Haru technically knows the reason, but. He bumps their foreheads together for a moment, and feels Rin inhale sharply. Haru selfishly lets the contact linger for a moment before he pulls away.

"Just don't be a stranger."

Haru slides their fingers together, giving Rin's hand a squeeze. He sees the tears start building in Rin's eyes, like he suddenly can't stand to be looked at. So Haru doesn't, and lets his gaze drift back up towards the ceiling. It's quiet again. Haru thinks he can hear Yamazaki and Nitori coming back, so he squeezes Rin's hand again. Rin sniffs, before he squeezes back and waves towards his friends coming back to the car.

"Took you assholes long enough. I'm fucking tired."

[taeru]

Ai sees Haruka leaving from the car, and despite it all, flashes him the world's most gentle smile. Doesn't have the energy anymore to feel something green; doesn't have the energy to hate himself anymore in this specific capacity. Resignation. Has no idea what has actually transpired in he and Sousuke's absences, but is certain the outcome isn't one he's exactly chomping at the bit to hear about. But if he squints, he thinks he sees a drop of Haruka's shoulders, which is enough for Ai to both feel relieved he's done what was necessary, and. Tired.

He sees Rin's hair barely peeking out from the door, telling Ai he's lounging across the seats. Thank goodness, he thinks internally; Ai can take shotgun, and it means Rin doesn't have to see his horrid, messed up, post-sobbing face.

"The bathroom really is a labyrinth away," is his teasing retort, voice strained to sound Normal (tm). Ai slides into the front seat and buckles himself in. Closes his eyes with a wretched twist of his brow, presses his head to the window glass, and very silently takes in one of the biggest breaths of his life.

"Let's head home. It's been a long day."

Sousuke is looking at him side long, as if double guessing whether or not coming back to the car was the right choice, but Ai's made his bed, and Sousuke surmises he needs to resolve to lay in it. He twists his body to look over the center console at Rin, eyes flat and eyebrows raised.

"Gonna need you to sit up, princess."

[buttterfly]

"OI--" Rin starts, but quickly smooths his ruffled feathers. He knows the two of them were just trying to give him some space. He's grateful for it. But the way Ai wordlessly climbs into the passenger seat, trying to sound so composed... Rin bites his lip.

"Least I don't need GPS to find my way out of a parking lot..." He bites back, pushing himself up and reaching for his seatbelt. It sticks for a moment, and he shoots Sousuke a i'm trying!! look before he finally gets it in. Rin feels like he made things awkward. He doesn't think, he knows. But dredging it up isn't going to do anyone any good either. So he just sits on it.

Ignores it. Because everyone else seems to need to.

He tries to lean into whatever warmth they were all sharing earlier, jokes and bad mouthing one another. That's easy enough, right? Sousuke begins to back out; if there's one thing he's good at (besides the obvious directional challenge) it's driving and being safe. Rin leans his head against the window with a sigh, looking at the cars all slowly beginning to leave the lot.

It was a rush, sure. But now some real work begins. Rin's fingers tighten where they're resting on his thighs. Finally, he breaks whatever momentary silence they slip into.

"What is this, some pre-sleepover party?" He leans onto the middle console, giving Ai some space and not looking at him too much. He raises a brow at Sousuke instead.

"Fine if you're not gonna start I will. Truth or dare? Kissing and and that stupid shit is off limits. I feel like I only have dirt on eight year old you Sou." He looks over at Ai. "You first. Ask him the worst thing ever."

[taeru]

Ai's not entirely sure which is worse, a painfully silent car ride where all three of them are thinking the same thing but not saying a damn word, or one where one or more of them are desperate to fill the space, playing Olympic-level gymnastics to dodge the obvious landmines.

Turns out, Rin is not only an Olympic swimmer, he is also an Olympic gymnast, and has somehow managed to land on the mat of a secret, worse third option: truth or dare. Ai sits up and off the window, just enough to roll his eyes all the way to the back of his skull, body bobbling slightly with the jostle of the car as Sousuke pulls out to the main road.

I don't want to. I don't want to! Let me wallow in peace! I let you wallow in peace! It's written all over his face. And yet there is still something about levity between friends and something of a duty to not be the sourpuss that has him engaging anyway.

He looks at Rin. It's a very I will not forgive you for forcing me to socialize look that is no longer bothering to hide the other bits of his upset that are equally as obvious but nowhere near on the table to discuss, and then looks to Sousuke, ready to aim and fire.

"You've already forgotten the rules, senpai. I have to ask something else first." He closes his eyes and leans the side of his head against the back of the seat. "Sousuke-senpai, truth or dare?"

[buttterfly]

Rin is a master at keeping conversation moving away from awkward. Even if it then turns into a different kind of awkward, thanks.

"Don't be a prick." Rin scoffs, muttering under his breath as he pulls himself back towards the backseat. He crosses his arms, letting the side of his head press against the window much akin to whatever Ai is doing up front right now.

Sousuke looks very much like he wants nothing to do with this. But he plays along. Because he too is in awkwardland with the other fuckers in his car, and there's only one way out.

"I think a dare would be bad given I'm driving... so truth."

[taeru]

And so Ai arrives at an impasse.

It'd be like playing with fire in an oil rig at this point. Ai has to scrounge his expression and pout his lips a little to attempt and rub his two remaining braincells together to cut through the fog and think of something worth answering that wouldn't accidentally set the whole car ablaze.

He's also very aware Sousuke would rather not be playing. Well... This is perhaps the side of him that is forever loyal to Rin: the side of him that likes making Sousuke wear that exasperated, deadpan expression from time to time.

It isn't enough to satisfy my curiosity... It needs to be something that won't upset Rin-senpai, too. Or bore him, for that matter. Ai hums as he thinks. This is harder than I thought...

"Mm... Alright. I'm generous, so you can answer one of two ways." Ai holds up two fingers. "You're now thinking of your favourite body part. You can either tell us the body part, or who between me and Rin-senpai you think it's best on, but you can't answer both."

[buttterfly]

Oh. Ai is good at this, Rin thinks to himself for a moment. He can watch the emotions play out on his face, watches the way his brow furrows as he finally settles on something. Then his gaze whips back to Sousuke, who stares at the road blankly.

Almost like he didn't hear the question at all.

But the answer is so dead pan and genuine, it would have knocked Rin flat on his ass had he been standing in any capacity. But he's not, so he just settles for staring bug eyed at his friend. Rin is truly and genuinely--

"Tits. Kind of a no brainer." Rin can't stifle the snort that rips out of him, because it's also so ambiguous it could literally apply to anyone, anything, any gender. Rin coughs into the back of his hand, eyes squeezing shut as he tries to fight the laughter.

"No offense Sou, but uh. You don't really strike me as..." Sousuke looks up through the rearview mirror, still stoic and without blinking just tosses back.

"Guys have them too, even if we can't all have ones as nice as yours."

[taeru]

Ai kind of laughs without laughing, smile playing on his lips in a way that's half-way cut between teasing and bemused. The laughter does come out a little at Rin's quip though. Not that he wants to squabble over Sousuke's sexuality, but--

"I think Sousuke-senpai could play the entire world if he put his mind to it." Read: if he was more of a slut he'd be happy to bag anyone. And could.

Sousuke's following retort has Ai tutting him though!

"I said you can't answer both!" And lo, Ai sinks down a bit into his seat, because if there one person in this car who isn't beefed to hell and back, it's him. All lithe muscle and tendons and borderline svelte proportions; he made peace long ago that he wouldn't ever be able to pack on muscle the same way his colleagues do.

Through a pout he would insist is not on his lips, "It's your turn, Sousuke-senpai."

How quickly something so stupid and vapid had torn him out of his own brain, misery packed into the trunk of his mind for now. Even if it's just for a little while. That was Rin's charm.

[buttterfly]

It's because Rin's got coping mechanisms for Days™. If anyone can pull their head out of the depression kitty, it's him.

"Don't be so self conscious. I told you girls like pretty and little these days."

Which just has Rin. Squinting. Suddenly, those twenty or however long minutes they were gone is the most fascinating thing ever. Rin wonders what could have possibly transpired. Except now he doesn't, because he saw the way Ai teetered back to the car and he never wants to see that ever ever again.

Rin swallows, leaning back against the seat a little, scratching the back of his neck. But then he sees Ai sinking into his seat, and Rin laughs again. Rin tilts his head with a hum. He can see Sousuke's fingers gripping the steering wheel like he's trying to not let all that out in some booming laugh.

"Rules, schmules. The fact is--"

"Ai. Truth or dare? I promise I won't be as mean as passenger princess back there."

"Don't interrupt me!!"

[taeru]

Ai doesn't even have it in him to pretend to be offended. He had been the one to want to see Sousuke exasperated, but it seems the monkey paw has curled, and now Ai is sitting with crossed arms and an expression so thousands of miles away, eyeline so straight, eyebrows so flat, one could imagine him looking into a studio camera.

"I won't try to contest pretty a second time, but little? Even Nagisa-kun is smaller than I am...!" Is it a complex? Maybe. Ai never thought much about his slighter figure until the boys around him seemed to exponentially grow in height and mass and it seemed he missed his cue.

Rin's laughing, though. And Sousuke looks like he's about to. And then his two seniors are talking over one another, and despite his mostly put-on pout, Ai can't help but crack a genuine, lopsided smile.

"I don't like it when you two team up. It's dangerous."

And balks when he hears his name! Clears his throat, "I can handle it." And then, without hesitation, "Dare, please." Because he is absolutely not in a mental state to handle revealing anything at the present time, no matter how innocuous. He trusted Sousuke of all people not to ask anything inflammatory anyway, but it was an extra layer of security for his psyche.

[buttterfly]

Sousuke and Rin pass a glance at each other through the rear view mirror, and something unspoken passes between them. Rin grins, putting his arms behind his head, tilting it back and letting the show play out in front of him.

Sousuke hums, making a left turn. They're still a ways from Ai's place, and traffic is as traffic is in Tokyo. Sousuke braces his chin on one hand, looking rather deep in thought for a minute. Before he finally smirks as well.

"You did say you could handle it."

And Rin pulls the collar of his jacket up a bit, shrinking down as much as humanely possible in the seat. Because he doesn't want anyone seeing him associated with this. Or maybe he's just bracing himself. But he knows. Sousuke rolls the windows down, and looks over at Ai with the most innocent looking smile conjurable.

"Every time the car turns left, you have to scream like you're on a roller coaster."

[taeru]

Ai can sense it. It isn't an intuition, nor is it a secret sixth sense. It's more akin to anticipating a danger before it happens. Some call them prophets; others call them boys who cry wolf.

But Ai knows his friends, and can just tell from the lingering silence that whatever is coming out of Sousuke's mouth next is going to be his personal hell likely for the remainder of the car ride. He's specifically looking at Rin at first, accusatorily, as if to try and deduce what accursed brain waves have you sent to Sousuke-senpai?, and then Sousuke drops his dare.

On the one hand, it could have been much, MUCH worse. On the other hand?

Ai will happily joke around. He can be silly, even funny; especially witty. He can read a room better than most. He's not only jovial, but incredibly good at being a friend.

He draws a line at embarrassing himself on purpose.

"Why!" he balks, sinking into his car seat. "You had the entire world at your fingertips, and you chose something like this...?" And yet who is Ai kidding? Sousuke or Rin say jump, he'll always ask how high. Sousuke pulls a left after a light.

Ai hesitates.

"Aaaahh." It's incredibly lukewarm. Though to his credit, his hands are raised above his head. "Can we just-- Rin-senpai, it's your turn." No it isn't, but Ai says now it is.

[buttterfly]

It’s stupid and equally hysterical.

Sousuke and Rin barely have any composure left to begin with after the ups and downs of the day. But this is rejuvenating in its own right. And they both fucking lose it at Ai’s half hearted attempt to play along. To the point where Sousuke almost swerves into someone. But eh. Details.

Rin is acutely aware he’s in the spotlight now, and groans. Ugh. He’s such a pussy. His head is wrought after everything, even with that fresh bought of laughter they’ve been able to indulge in. He tilts his head, staring at a very interesting flower shop they drive by.

Before he decidedly sighs, and leans his head back.

”Ugh, fine. Truth. Can’t be worse than whatever you assholes already know about me.”

[taeru]

Ai does manage to crack a smile at how immediately reticent Rin looked to play, despite this entire game being his suggestion. It's cute, Ai thinks. And immediately after that recognition settles, he clears his throat to himself. How convenient, another left turn; he lets loose another equally unenthused "Aaaa.", and yet because he can't at least put some effort into the things he does, his god damn hands are in the air again. Win some, lose some.

"Don't worry, I'll ask something nice." Anything with meat to it would undoubtedly cast the entire car into a black pit, and Ai is trying extremely hard to not do that. Looks to Sousuke as if he could impart some amount of inspiration. And then in a stroke of genius, it comes to Ai, and he looks over the middle console to level-set Rin with an expression of determination that, to any weaker foe, may make them shrink.

"You once cared for an abandoned kitten on campus." That gets Sousuke looking at Rin through the rearview. Ai also knows for a fact Rin didn't know Ai knew. But details. Ai continues, "You absolutely imprinted on it, and so I know you gave it a name." He points at Rin. "What did you name it?"

[buttterfly]

The best part of this ride is absolutely Ai sticking true to his dare, even if the nature of is a bit half-hearted. It's something and even Sousuke can't help but snort everytime it happens.

I'll ask something nice. Rin's eye twitches, because nice can go multiple different ways. But he's happy Ai is gentle to him after a tumultuous day. Or at least as gentle as he can be given the circumstances of the game Rin himself suggested. He hates that look. It absolutely makes him shrink.

Then it hits him.

Perhaps one of his biggest moments of shame.

It was winter, and pouring rain out. Rin in his pissy state was stalking around campus, after being poured on during a job, like the world owed him some apology. He pulled his hood up, but he heard the faintest little mew from the statue. It was a pitiful sight. A little gray kitten, wailing it's head off, soaking wet. Everytime it tried to venture out from the barest cover the statue gave it, it would get sopping wet and cry again.

And oh it looked at Rin with the most devastating look, with blue eyes that would make any person fucking melt. And so he knelt down before it, picking it up and stuffing it in his jacket.

Keeping it a secret was not an easy feat. Rin kept telling himself it was just until it got old enough to do whatever cats do, and fend for itself. He snuck food from the lunch hall to it, shoved it in the closet when he was gone, did everything he could to keep it quiet.

Eventually, swimming began to overtake him and he couldn't keep it under wraps anymore. Not from Ai. Not from the whole fucking dormitory. Begrudgingly, he reached out to Makoto, asking if he had any ideas. This was still in full peak Haru-makes-me-angry mode, and so Makoto offered to take it because Haru had a ton of stray cats he fed around his house.

As far as Rin knew, it still lived over there and the Tachibana's fed the cats while Haru was in university. That stupid cat had the same eyes as Haru anyways so it was fitting. Liked fish. Was fussy beyond belief. Fitting to live at the Nanase residence.

But something else sinks in him because that fucking meant Ai knew the cat was there all along. Sousuke looks at Rin through the rear view mirror, almost missing a turn in the process. Rin's jaw is still hanging open, his face burning. He twists his gaze to look out the window, muttering under his breathe.

"...Sakura."

"Why am I not surprised."

[taeru]

Ai can't exactly say he's surprised.

It was one of the most bizarre winters of his life. Emotions often flying high on account of the walking basket case that was his roommate, oscillating from extreme emotional projection one evening to a nearly domestic coexistence the next morning. It was commonplace for Ai to trail behind Rin to and fro, even sometimes accompanying him on his jogs. Once or twice, Ai noticed Rin had gotten up unusually early, or would only start a jog a bit later than usual but not even ask Ai if he wanted to come.

He wouldn't call it stalking. In fact, his intentions had been nothing but selfless; this unusual behaviour had all come about only after Ai learned about Rin's father, after all. And so on those weirder days, those days that didn't quite make sense, Ai would slip on his jogging shoes and trail after Rin from a distance. And the very first time he chose to do so, he'd seen delinquent Matsuoka caring tenderly for a too tiny grey kitten in the rain, likely separated from its mother.

Ai kept tabs on it and on Rin for only a few more weeks until feeling satisfied for himself that the cat would be alright - that, and he noticed Rin sneaking out at unusual hours much less often, those invitations to jog together back on the table. The memory makes Ai smile something incredibly fond, which cuts straight through the near-permanent undercurrent of resignation he's been wearing since the moment he came back to the car.

"I still don't understand why you wanted to hide something so sweet. I would have helped." Sakura, huh? Ai misses a left turn and chooses not to care. "The name fits. It's just like you, Rin-senpai."

"Ai."

He pouts! Gives his best lukewarm aaahhh, and then mutters, "Can't you drive faster?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Sousuke pings Rin through the rearview. "Your turn to ask. Be nice."

[buttterfly]

"Augh, don't get all sappy." Rin huffs, trying (and failing) to bury his face into the back of Sousuke's seat. It does little to hide him from his shame, alas. He should have known Ai would be cool with it, it was stupid to consider anything otherwise. "Wasn't exactly the year I had my head on straight, y'know."

At least Sousuke forcing Ai back into their stupid game at every left turn helps pull him out of his funk.

His turn, huh? Well. He stares between Ai and Sousuke. But figures that Ai having to keep up with this roller coaster shenanigan is still kind of perfect. So he smirks, and puts his chin on the back of Sousuke's seat instead. A contemplative hum escapes him, he tilts his head like he's in deep thought (he's not).

"Alright tough guy, truth or dare."

[taeru]

Ai could tease, but his energy is depleted enough for it to be a bygone. That and the current mood in the car was quite light, and he was eager to keep it that way; bringing up the specificities of first year seemed a little dangerous, even if Ai's refrain for years since has been I forgave you then and I forgive you now. It dawns on Ai that quite a bit of it is lost on Sousuke, too, with whom Ai never shared details. It didn't seem like his place. He can't rule out Rin having told Sousuke all about that time, though.

Ai relents when Rin hones on his target, leaning back into the seat a bit, and lolling over so that his head is pressed to the window glass.

Sousuke looks at Rin through the rear-view, a slow blink accompanying an expression that seems completely unmoved.

"Truth." It's a long, straight stretch of road; he playfully bats his hand over his shoulder, as if to shoo Rin away.

"Our lives are in his hands," Ai chimes from the passenger seat, "Please don't ask anything that would make the side rail look more appealing."

"I would never," Sousuke inflects, ghost of a smile upticking his lips, "My insurance isn't that good."

[buttterfly]

"What do you take me for, some suicidal maniac?"

Rin laughs, holding up his hands in a mock surrender. "You tank once and suddenly everyone thinks you're going to make the driver crash." He very much does not point out that this is the only thing keeping him from spiraling into that stupid wallowing of despair to begin with. Thank you very much.

"Okay. What's the dumbest injury you've ever lied about?"

Okay, low blow. But Rin smirks and pulls his head away from Sousuke's seat, leaning back against the backseat. It's not terribly roomy or anything, but Rin can at least sit cross legged a little bit. Feels a little better that way to just keep some sort of pressure flowing through his body, after all. He shakes his head.

"Kidding. Alright, anything you wish you did differently back in high school? You know besides the whole lying about injuries for a whole year bit. Hard to top that."

[taeru]

Ai wouldn't have thought Rin to attempt such a thing, anyway. The one time he worried about it sincerely, Rin nearly balked at him as if he'd asked if Rin had five heads. It was a measure of relief to have seen him at his lowest and yet get the confirmation that the idea of such a thing was nowhere near on Rin's mind... Or so he let on.

"Senpai!" Ai admonishes when Rin gives his first pass at a question, meanwhile Sousuke nearly rolls his eyes to the back of his skull. Reaction had potential to be more volatile, but thankfully Sousuke is riding the high of his second Olympic qualifier, and bad rotator cuffs are - for now - a thing of the past.

Sousuke exhales once and thick through his nostrils, "Ai caught on. There was nothing stopping you from snooping either." It's a taunt, even if a bit meanspirited; Sousuke did try to hide it, after all. But he and Ai had been in close... Very close quarters, making it easier for Ai to eventually sniff out the obvious.

Ai un-subtly clears his throat, "Only because I saw you working out with your shoulder guard..."

Sousuke seems intently focused on the road as he mulls over the question, keen to give an honest answer. Some responses were obvious, but would do little to keep the mood as it was. So a kinder answer lands in his lap.

"A couple things." He tries to catch Rin's eye through the mirror. "But I wish I came to Samezuka sooner."

[buttterfly]

"Look, I was busy making sure all your asses qualified for Nationals. You two, and about twenty other bodies." He huffs, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. Maybe he should have noticed. Really, it should have been more obvious to him. He knows there's no excuse, even if Sousuke had never come forward with the truth. There's that tiny prick when he looks between them again.

The one that knows so much more transpired between them. And fuck, where was he that whole time?

Logically, he knows better. Rin was trying to get everyone in top form, alongside himself. That coupled with Haru's fucking "weh i don't wanna talk about the future" had him in a chokehold. But still, he feels like a bad friend. Not noticing the injury, not noticing what Ai and Sousuke had been doing all those late nights...

The follow up answer surprises him though. Rin blinks at Sousuke through the mirror, perching his chin on his hand, elbow digging into the meat of his thigh. He looks contemplative, because there could be a million different answers to this. But maybe Rin knows the actual answer is as obvious as ever.

"...so we could have swam together longer?"

He ventures carefully, swallowing and licking his lips. Maybe that's a stupidly self centered thought, but it fits. After everything he's learned recently after all.

[taeru]

He knows Rin didn't mean for it to sting, but. The sad, ugly, pitiful truth was Ai had been on the bottom rung of their team, and it took a borderline miracle in the form of Rin's fire and Sousuke's guidance to get him to a place where he didn't feel like a walking embarrassment day in and day out. Everyone on Samezuka worked hard, but none worked as hard as he did, and Ai knows this for a fact. Not because he had some super work ethic (though he did) - it was only because he had the largest gap in skill to make up for.

Ai clears his throat.

"You were busy." It's what he always told himself, too, to salve over the occasional hurt, untoward or otherwise. In first year from blatant mistreatment; in second year from being sidelined. Funny, he thinks, how things have a tendency not to change--

Sousuke's answer thankfully keeps Ai's thought from spiraling for the umpteenth time that afternoon, Ai looking to him with a knowing, soft expression.

Sousuke, for his part, smiles. "Of course," is his sincere answer. And after just a moment of silence, Sousuke shrugs by way of his lips and tacks on, "I made up for it on the backend. So maybe it's a useless regret."

[buttterfly]

"Yeah. Busy." He stares out the window blankly, Sousuke quickly dragging him out of it at least. Rin shakes his head, lodging that glum feeling loose.

"No such thing." Rin scoffs, letting his head press against the windshield. He knows Ai's house is creeping closer. And with it comes some. Discussion, or at least something. There's a thousand apologies fresh on Rin's tongue, things he's already recited time and time again. But maybe they can brush it aside for the night, ride the highs of the day, or something.

"Useless regret is shit. It's okay to wish things had gone differently." Rin's legs instinctively pull as close to his body as he can. "But don't spend too much time mulling either, right? Doubt you'd be pleased to hear me and Ai crying about your shoulder. And look how that turned out in the end."

An amazing recovery is what.

"Just feel what you need to."