for @buttterfly - post-tfln

[taeru]

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[taeru]

Ai huffs, that uncertain type of noise half-way stuck between a sigh and a titter. He finally does look at Sousuke, jealousy mentioned. Shares a knowing, if slightly pitiful smile.

"If our circumstances were reversed, I'd feel the same." Sky blue eyes back down on the cement under their feet; Ai, too, leans against the wall just beside Sousuke. Everything in him feels leaden, and he hates it.

His expression solemns, all the crestfallen, resigned shame hanging over his countenance heavily. The last time Sousuke's probably seen him this beaten up over himself may have been the time he nearly tripped over Ai on a Samezuka fire escape.

"I know I didn't. But that's how it feels."

Sousuke mentioning all that had happened after has Ai looking at him from his periphery for a moment, before turning his head to look at him fully. His eyebrows knit in that worried way of his; his hand touches Sousuke's wrist, doing with gesture what Sousuke had just tried to do with words for him.

"He was cagey on the details when I asked." Ai takes in a breath. "What happened?"

[monollith]

"Even after all this time."

It's not a question, just some sad statement that resonates between the both of them. It's been so many years for Ai already, even more for himself. Though as a kid you don't quite understand those things with the same velocity. But as life shapes you, you pick up the little things. And that sudden flood of understanding is more heartbreaking than anything else.

But there's his own shame flooding now. His own sins in all of this mess. He shifts a little, his shoulders hitching as Sousuke frowns. It feels like airing some dirty secret. The one where he wasn't strong enough, when Rin needed him to be.

"Just showed up crying and sopping wet. To be honest... the way he was stumbling around and with how his neck looked, I thought I would have to call the cops on someone." Sousuke laughs softly, rubbing the back of his head. "I just made my bed up for him, and let him sleep. Gave him some space."

Sousuke isn't being fair to himself. The first things out of his mouth were you look like shit and it wasn't fair. To him, or to Rin. So he spares the detail.

"Rin got pissy when I asked him what happened. But he told me that you guys were fighting, and he basically pulled your pants down. He was just mad and tired and needed something." Sousuke pauses, watching Ai permissively, like he's wondering if he's allowed to continue. Before he softly does.

"He was freaking out. Like he did something so unforgivable. So I just shrugged and told him it was fine, wasn't anything you and I hadn't done before. Guess you told him though, because he didn't seem surprised. Just pissed."

Sousuke recoils a little at the memory. The intensifying of voices that made him so grateful his brother wasn't home for a few days. That might have gotten the cops called on them, with how their voices escalated.

"He got mad, and said I should have told him how you felt. He didn't ever want to hurt you. Then, I guess..." This is where it gets hard. Sousuke drags his hand down the back of his neck, solemn wrenching over his features and tone. "...asked him how someone couldn't feel that way about him."

It feels dirty. So dirty. Like he's the worst person in the world for letting something slip through the cracks of vulnerability. Rin was already having a shit time, and Sousuke was so unbelievably selfish. He knew what he was saying, what he was doing in that moment. What did he want? Hard to say.

"That's when he started crying again, and ran. I wasn't gonna make him stay. Dude was unhinged. Not that I blame him. Must be shit to process all that in the span of a few hours." There's a little shake in Sousuke's own voice. Maybe it's some phantom pain, or just the welling of his own guilt. He feels Ai's hand against his wrist. That calming, grounding thing. Something he's relied on too much over the years. So selfish.

"...but. When he didn't come back or answer, I kind of panicked. Texted everyone I could think of. I thought he'd go to Nanase's if I'm being honest. But that just freaked him and Makoto out too." Sousuke laughs again. A self deprecating thing. "Kind of made me feel like shit again. Like I ruffled too many feathers."

[taeru]

Ai meets Sousuke's gaze, imploring him to continue. Knows it's rough stuff to lay out bare; knows neither of them are particularly fond about peeling back the veneer so far, exposing that which they both tend to guard quite closely. And, Ai can guess what comes next.

It's his turn to look guilty. Staring down at his feet. It isn't as if he and Sousuke had rules about sharing details about their encounters - but even at the time, Ai had said it plainly to Rin. That it's in Sousuke's best interests for why Ai wasn't forthright, and likely the same for why Sousuke hadn't been either. Ai reneged on that.

"I'd told him earlier. The day he arrived, actually." Ai closes his eyes and takes another steeling breath. "Not as some-- it wasn't some big confession. It came up naturally in conversation. Of course, I spared him the details... He just looked hurt that I'd hide it from him. I guess by the time he got to you, he'd made his peace with it."

And then Ai listens. And when Sousuke says that, he nearly physically recoils. Shuts his eyes, sucks in his lips, turns his cheek away. Not because he finds what Sousuke had said so profoundly evil or anything - no. It's empathy. It's a visceral reaction to knowing they'd both made the same exact mistake within less than a day of one another.

"You did the thing I couldn't conjure the courage to do. The first day Rin-senpai arrived, I thought of reaching out to Nanase-san and Tachibana-san." And Ai regrets it for several reasons, but prime among them now is, selfishly, if he had just done it, he may have saved himself and Sousuke and Rin a lot of heartache. "He was avoiding them. I could intuit why."

There's a pause then. Before Ai does them both the favour of finally identifying the elephant in the room; he gestures with his head back toward Sousuke's car. Toward Rin and Haruka.

"I ran into Nanase-san earlier. I told him to reach out to Rin-senpai." And the breath he takes in and the sigh he exhales are just so--

Resigned.

"So whatever is going on over there, I suppose you could thank me." He hates the way his eyes suddenly burn; he doesn't push them with his palm, doesn't sniff. Just shakes his head, as if disappointed with himself, and forces a smile. "... Thank you for looking out for me, Sousuke-senpai."

[monollith]

"It's alright. It doesn't bother me. That you guys talked about it." Sousuke admits. It doesn't. Not in the slightest. "You're not anything to be ashamed of, you know. I heard Rin was teasing Kirishima earlier about something you two did. I guess I just kept it to myself thinking I was protecting you."

It's not entirely the truth. He wasn't saving face for Ai in the grand scheme. Things just get awkward at an all boys academy when you say you're sleeping with one of your teammates to blow off the steam you both feel for your captain. From there, it just dissipated into the back of his mind.

Rin was gone. Ai was still there. Ai was in university, and Sousuke was flopping around trying to figure out what the hell to do with his life. Even if he's found it now, there's still infinite possibilities. He didn't think of bringing up a friends with benefit situation with someone he admired for all their tenacity, and diligence in striving for something.

"Do you feel like you did the right thing?" Telling Nanase. Sousuke lets his gaze trail back towards his car. He laughs a little, nudging Ai's knee with his own. "Because it's okay to feel like you didn't. We're all selfish. Just how people are."

Sousuke is speaking from experience, of course. Swallowing down so many things through life. So much of it for Rin Matsuoka, of all people. But maybe that's just what do you when there's a bond that spans so many years, so many lifetimes. It's alright. He has more now. Ai, Makoto. People that do so much for him. He smiles.

"You've looked out for me too, Ai. There's not enough gratitude in the world for me to give."

[taeru]

Ai can't help but laugh, knuckles covering his mouth. The sound is a little bitter, but he knows Sousuke understands, and so doesn't try to filter it.

"I was surprised when he did, to be honest. I assumed he'd want to keep it buried given present company." Ai drops his hand, "Kirishima-senpai still doesn't know. Nanase-san does, though." Ai uncomfortably clears his throat, and stalls before forcing the words out,

"I felt the way he was looking at me... When we bumped into one another, it was the same. I didn't want him to get the wrong impression, so I told him the truth. I'm still not sure what he feels, but it's at least out of my hands now."

And speaking of Haruka. Ai knows what Sousuke means, and the way Ai nearly curls into himself is pathetic. Crosses an arm to hold the opposite one, one leg suddenly hitched up against the wall. A distinct feeling of wishing he could shuck off his skin and start over again. Because he knows to anyone else on planet earth, his reply would seem horrifically deprecating, if not outright fetishistic in its prostrate nature.

"No, I don't feel I did." He swallows to ladle his saliva over the pit growing in his stomach, as if that might cull it, and then turns his head to look at Sousuke, raw determination lining his eyes.

"I know I did."

Blinks away that determination; his hand has to come up and help push some of it off his cheek. And stares back down at the ground, "Because I know you saw the same thing I did. The way Rin-senpai smiled. I never, ever want to get in the way of that. I absolutely won't." He makes a noise, a choked grunt, likely a sob he aborted. Turns ninety degrees away from Sousuke, trying to gather his resolve again. "Even if I'm useless, at least this much I can do. So I did."

[monollith]

"There you go again, trashing your own worth." Sousuke puts his hand on Ai's shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze. "Like I said. You're not something to be ashamed of. Maybe I should start joking about it too?" He teases.

"Nanase stares at people like a dead fish sometimes. He's not out there thinking he has some claim to Rin or anything. Much as the guy pisses me off sometimes, that's always been more my style." Sousuke shifts, rolling his shoulder and pushing a hand into his pocket. "I told you about that right? Pushing him against a vending machine senior year? Playing the jealous boyfriend role. Not my finest or brightest."

But Nanase didn't ever tell Rin about it. At least, not to Sousuke's knowledge. So maybe he's not the worst guy in the world. Maybe that's why Sousuke shoved him out of the way of Rin's water gun during the festival. That stupid warm memory brings a smile to his face. Maybe that's the last time he's felt like this.

Even through the yawning sadness. He wonders what the two of them are talking about over there. Or maybe he doesn't want to know.

But Ai's determined, emboldened statement makes Sousuke's eyes widen. And man. If that isn't something admirable. Sousuke doesn't know if he could have done something like that. But maybe Ai is right too. Maybe if he had seen the way Rin really could smile, perform--live--he would have done the same exact thing.

"I think you're the stand up guy around here." Sousuke says quietly, looking at Ai through the sting reflected in his own eyes. Something he quickly rubs away with the back of his hand. "Useless maybe in regards to assessing what you mean to people."

[taeru]

Ai stares into middle space, unsure if what he says next is going to make Sousuke laugh or want to throttle him.

"No, you didn't tell me. Well, you kind of did, later that night... ..." Much to his embarrassment, it is perhaps one of their encounters Ai remembers most fondly. He's never seen Sousuke's expression look so dark, and knew it had to do with either Rin or Haruka. It had been one of the earlier ones, too. It was nice to see Sousuke fully present, even if-- um. Incensed.

There is something about seeing Sousuke get choked up that nearly pulls the plug completely on Ai's useless attempt at staying himself; his arm is lifted to his eyes, as if that might stop the deluge. To his credit, he cries quietly, letting it roll through him and then pass over him like a summer storm. He waits until he's sure his voice is steady enough to look back at Sousuke with an expression that miraculously manages to be playfully exasperated and not actually exasperated, red rings around his eyes be damned,

"I get it, jeez!" And to hell with it, they're both messes, and no one around them is there to look; Ai reaches up to press a thumb to Sousuke's strong cheek and jaw, doing him the favour of wiping away some of those tears before they can hit the floor. As for himself, Ai sniffs one last time, "I can't take both you and him--" Rin, he means, "-- saying the same thing."

[monollith]

Oh. Right. Sousuke remembers. Whatever escapes him is a mix of a sputter, and a laugh. High school was tricky. Figuring yourself out, keeping secrets...trying to keep ocean eyes from your best friend, exploring your preferences and bodies.

"Guess I never apologized for that, huh. Sorry you had to skip practice for like a week."

And maybe there's something akin to gratefulness not having to shoulder (hah) something alone. Something so intense it's spun out into whatever dizzying hold it has on you over the years. He doesn't flinch from the fingers brushing near his eye, leaning into it a little instead.

When someone in the world gets you, truly gets you, it can wipe out all the misery.

"Well get used to it, mister Olympian. People are going to be singing praises of you way more than this. Might I suggest jammers or legskins when we get our uniforms? Unless you want everyone checking out your ass on international tv. Not that I'd blame them, but..." He laughs, squeezing Ai's wrist, just keeping it there for a moment.

"You going to be okay?"

[taeru]

It's unspoken. It had been in the beginning, too. Rin had always seen Ai; Sousuke saw through him. Understood him fundamentally. Saw him for his misery and his joy, his shame and his drive. Feeling seen in such a visceral way has a way of disarming even the most stalwart of soldiers, and Sousuke had managed to do that in only a number of weeks. By the end of Ai's second year, Sousuke through nothing more than just being present had managed to completely reshape Ai into someone Ai can say he's actually proud of.

Even now, standing amidst the ruins of extremely fresh heartbreak, even just being in Sousuke's vicinity helps tremendously. Ai can only hope the feeling is mutual.

He huffs!

"Next to you and Rin-senpai, I think I'll be fine." Implying the both of them are too bombshell for the attention to be spared. Ai knows his worth, and knows he's pretty, and lithe - but it is his honest opinion his two best friends blow him out of the water. And in it, but.

Sousuke's reassurances wash over him like aloe to a furious burn; just for a moment, he tucks himself a little closer to Sousuke's side, and shifts his hand up to find Sousuke's palm. Laces their fingers and squeezes. Simultaneously reassuring Sousuke that Ai is here for him in perpetuity, and indulging in his comfort. Smooths his thumb over the side of Sousuke's knuckle, and then lets go.

"I have to be." It's his honest answer. It isn't ideal, but he trusts Sousuke not to cast judgment. Ai sucks in a breath, "With all that's happened today, it's barely settled in. I qualified... I don't believe it yet. It'll probably hit me once I'm home. I can't let anything distract from the road that's ahead." He looks up at Sousuke, expression earnest. "Will you be?"

[monollith]

"Chicks like the pretty little dudes nowadays. Rin might get a few eyes with that girly hair, but." Sousuke laughs, meeting the squeeze of Ai's fingers with his own. Maybe it's selfish to squeeze for the length he does, but he lets go as soon as Ai finishes out his soothing ministrations.

"You will be." He pats Ai on the back. "I've never known you to shy away from that sort of thing. Even through end of year exams and all your own shit, you made Samezuka record after Samezuka record."

Sousuke stuffs his hands into his pocket, fingers smoothing over the keys in there, alongside his phone and wallet. He looks back towards where they came from. There's something... unreadable crossing his face. But it's quickly replaced by that soft smile, and a shrug of his shoulders.

"Think they're done over there? Or need a little more time to go through your motions? I won't judge." Sousuke's resigned to this years ago anyways. He knows Ai is a little different. Living with someone, fucking someone, basically handing them over to someone you've deemed better than you must be rough. And he doesn't envy it at all.

"I'd offer to go back to that bar, but maybe we should keep the naked beach shenanigans to a minimum now. Sponsors might not like that."

[taeru]

Ai follows Sousuke's gaze, wears that same unreadable expression. Sousuke has had time to make his peace with it - Ai might not have, but he has spent the better part of four years dutifully keeping it all under wraps. It's what enables him to not completely lose his shit now despite the odds. He may not have experience in heartbreak, but he does in keeping his composure, which is something.

"I'm okay." He looks up to Sousuke, as if to ask, will you be alright?, but figures if Sousuke is asking, then he's already made his moment's peace. A little reluctantly, Ai leans away from Sousuke and off the wall. Pats his cheeks, ruffles his fringe to even it out. Resigns to the fact his eyes are probably still red, but there's not much he can do about that.

Ai begins walking first after taking a slow, deep breath.

"We'll have to get home somehow anyway. Come on, Sousuke-senpai." Looks over his shoulder, smile painfully forced but it's also not for Sousuke's sake either, "Maybe once the dust is settled, I can come over for drinks. No bar required."

[monollith]

"Last I checked, trains and cabs haven't gone out of style."

He pushes off the wall in turn, not notating the way he can see Ai's eyes puffy and red. It's understandable. He kind of hopes Ai and Rin get their shit out of the way. Much as he can sympathize with both of them, Rin's kind of an asshole at the end of the day. But Ai knows what he's fallen for, after all. If what he's heard about their first year together isn't enough to drive Ai away, well.

"You all only call me now because I have a car." It's totally a joke. He's not being serious. Being a pack mule just kind of comes with the territory of being one of the only people in your friend group with a vehicle. Picking up Natsuya's drunk ass constantly, Kisumi crawling into the backseat begging for a ride, finding Haru slumped over after jogging at five am and driving him home...

"You're welcome anytime."

[saaba]

The moment he saw Rin absolutely tank, he knew it was over.

There wasn't going to be anymore awkward exchanges or toeing around things like they had never happened before. The moment Nitori confessed what had transpired, urging Haru to close that gap that Rin had so haphazardly erected between them, Haru couldn't keep away.

He watches Ai and Sousuke depart, slumping a little at the way Nitori much tried to pretend what was happening in front of him was in fact not. Rin turns around on his stomach, arms crossed, legs bent and tilted up because he wouldn't fit across the backseat otherwise. Haru raises a brow.

"You look like a teenage girl about to gossip." Rin scoffs at the words, and just raps his knuckles against Haru's arm. It's quiet for a moment, the only sounds muffled tires and whispers of people walking to their vehicles in the distance.

"...you don't have to tell me you know." He can visibly watch the lines in Rin's body tense up. Like he's unconsciously trying to shift so Haru can't see his neck. Haru rolls his eyes, and just pinches Rin's wrist. Who hisses (what was Ikuya saying about acting like a cat earlier?) and snatches it back like Haru burned him.

"What are you. What do you mean?" Haru just looks at Rin, before shifting his gaze to the floor mat.

"Nitori told me." Rin looks like he's about to cry. Not exactly what he was aiming for, so Haru clarifies. "It's fine. I'm not upset. I don't know, or care what happened."

He can see Rin try to avoid eye contact, burying his face against his arms instead. Haru doesn't push, he just lets his own head rest on his crossed arms, shifting a little because kneeling is not very comfortable. But Azuma would probably say it's good for him or something. Rin sucks in a little breath, pushing his fingers into his hair.

"Haru..."

"I said it's fine." Haru pauses for a moment. "I was just worried. Yamazaki texted me that you disappeared, and I didn't even know you were back." It's an open ended question. Rin doesn't have to answer anything he doesn't want to. But he can see the gears turning, as Rin tries to put a little effort into explaining.

"Look, it was just messy. You know me, hard to face the music." Rin is quiet for a moment before he continues. "Sorry. For not telling you guys I was back. I didn't want anyone knowing."

Haru nods, like it's fine and the most perfectly normal thing in the world. He's not going to pry and ask Rin why he thought not texting his friends was a good idea when he came home, but he figures Rin had a reason. Haru technically knows the reason, but. He bumps their foreheads together for a moment, and feels Rin inhale sharply. Haru selfishly lets the contact linger for a moment before he pulls away.

"Just don't be a stranger."

Haru slides their fingers together, giving Rin's hand a squeeze. He sees the tears start building in Rin's eyes, like he suddenly can't stand to be looked at. So Haru doesn't, and lets his gaze drift back up towards the ceiling. It's quiet again. Haru thinks he can hear Yamazaki and Nitori coming back, so he squeezes Rin's hand again. Rin sniffs, before he squeezes back and waves towards his friends coming back to the car.

"Took you assholes long enough. I'm fucking tired."

[taeru]

Ai sees Haruka leaving from the car, and despite it all, flashes him the world's most gentle smile. Doesn't have the energy anymore to feel something green; doesn't have the energy to hate himself anymore in this specific capacity. Resignation. Has no idea what has actually transpired in he and Sousuke's absences, but is certain the outcome isn't one he's exactly chomping at the bit to hear about. But if he squints, he thinks he sees a drop of Haruka's shoulders, which is enough for Ai to both feel relieved he's done what was necessary, and. Tired.

He sees Rin's hair barely peeking out from the door, telling Ai he's lounging across the seats. Thank goodness, he thinks internally; Ai can take shotgun, and it means Rin doesn't have to see his horrid, messed up, post-sobbing face.

"The bathroom really is a labyrinth away," is his teasing retort, voice strained to sound Normal (tm). Ai slides into the front seat and buckles himself in. Closes his eyes with a wretched twist of his brow, presses his head to the window glass, and very silently takes in one of the biggest breaths of his life.

"Let's head home. It's been a long day."

Sousuke is looking at him side long, as if double guessing whether or not coming back to the car was the right choice, but Ai's made his bed, and Sousuke surmises he needs to resolve to lay in it. He twists his body to look over the center console at Rin, eyes flat and eyebrows raised.

"Gonna need you to sit up, princess."

[buttterfly]

"OI--" Rin starts, but quickly smooths his ruffled feathers. He knows the two of them were just trying to give him some space. He's grateful for it. But the way Ai wordlessly climbs into the passenger seat, trying to sound so composed... Rin bites his lip.

"Least I don't need GPS to find my way out of a parking lot..." He bites back, pushing himself up and reaching for his seatbelt. It sticks for a moment, and he shoots Sousuke a i'm trying!! look before he finally gets it in. Rin feels like he made things awkward. He doesn't think, he knows. But dredging it up isn't going to do anyone any good either. So he just sits on it.

Ignores it. Because everyone else seems to need to.

He tries to lean into whatever warmth they were all sharing earlier, jokes and bad mouthing one another. That's easy enough, right? Sousuke begins to back out; if there's one thing he's good at (besides the obvious directional challenge) it's driving and being safe. Rin leans his head against the window with a sigh, looking at the cars all slowly beginning to leave the lot.

It was a rush, sure. But now some real work begins. Rin's fingers tighten where they're resting on his thighs. Finally, he breaks whatever momentary silence they slip into.

"What is this, some pre-sleepover party?" He leans onto the middle console, giving Ai some space and not looking at him too much. He raises a brow at Sousuke instead.

"Fine if you're not gonna start I will. Truth or dare? Kissing and and that stupid shit is off limits. I feel like I only have dirt on eight year old you Sou." He looks over at Ai. "You first. Ask him the worst thing ever."

[taeru]

Ai's not entirely sure which is worse, a painfully silent car ride where all three of them are thinking the same thing but not saying a damn word, or one where one or more of them are desperate to fill the space, playing Olympic-level gymnastics to dodge the obvious landmines.

Turns out, Rin is not only an Olympic swimmer, he is also an Olympic gymnast, and has somehow managed to land on the mat of a secret, worse third option: truth or dare. Ai sits up and off the window, just enough to roll his eyes all the way to the back of his skull, body bobbling slightly with the jostle of the car as Sousuke pulls out to the main road.

I don't want to. I don't want to! Let me wallow in peace! I let you wallow in peace! It's written all over his face. And yet there is still something about levity between friends and something of a duty to not be the sourpuss that has him engaging anyway.

He looks at Rin. It's a very I will not forgive you for forcing me to socialize look that is no longer bothering to hide the other bits of his upset that are equally as obvious but nowhere near on the table to discuss, and then looks to Sousuke, ready to aim and fire.

"You've already forgotten the rules, senpai. I have to ask something else first." He closes his eyes and leans the side of his head against the back of the seat. "Sousuke-senpai, truth or dare?"

[buttterfly]

Rin is a master at keeping conversation moving away from awkward. Even if it then turns into a different kind of awkward, thanks.

"Don't be a prick." Rin scoffs, muttering under his breath as he pulls himself back towards the backseat. He crosses his arms, letting the side of his head press against the window much akin to whatever Ai is doing up front right now.

Sousuke looks very much like he wants nothing to do with this. But he plays along. Because he too is in awkwardland with the other fuckers in his car, and there's only one way out.

"I think a dare would be bad given I'm driving... so truth."

[taeru]

And so Ai arrives at an impasse.

It'd be like playing with fire in an oil rig at this point. Ai has to scrounge his expression and pout his lips a little to attempt and rub his two remaining braincells together to cut through the fog and think of something worth answering that wouldn't accidentally set the whole car ablaze.

He's also very aware Sousuke would rather not be playing. Well... This is perhaps the side of him that is forever loyal to Rin: the side of him that likes making Sousuke wear that exasperated, deadpan expression from time to time.

It isn't enough to satisfy my curiosity... It needs to be something that won't upset Rin-senpai, too. Or bore him, for that matter. Ai hums as he thinks. This is harder than I thought...

"Mm... Alright. I'm generous, so you can answer one of two ways." Ai holds up two fingers. "You're now thinking of your favourite body part. You can either tell us the body part, or who between me and Rin-senpai you think it's best on, but you can't answer both."

[buttterfly]

Oh. Ai is good at this, Rin thinks to himself for a moment. He can watch the emotions play out on his face, watches the way his brow furrows as he finally settles on something. Then his gaze whips back to Sousuke, who stares at the road blankly.

Almost like he didn't hear the question at all.

But the answer is so dead pan and genuine, it would have knocked Rin flat on his ass had he been standing in any capacity. But he's not, so he just settles for staring bug eyed at his friend. Rin is truly and genuinely--

"Tits. Kind of a no brainer." Rin can't stifle the snort that rips out of him, because it's also so ambiguous it could literally apply to anyone, anything, any gender. Rin coughs into the back of his hand, eyes squeezing shut as he tries to fight the laughter.

"No offense Sou, but uh. You don't really strike me as..." Sousuke looks up through the rearview mirror, still stoic and without blinking just tosses back.

"Guys have them too, even if we can't all have ones as nice as yours."

[taeru]

Ai kind of laughs without laughing, smile playing on his lips in a way that's half-way cut between teasing and bemused. The laughter does come out a little at Rin's quip though. Not that he wants to squabble over Sousuke's sexuality, but--

"I think Sousuke-senpai could play the entire world if he put his mind to it." Read: if he was more of a slut he'd be happy to bag anyone. And could.

Sousuke's following retort has Ai tutting him though!

"I said you can't answer both!" And lo, Ai sinks down a bit into his seat, because if there one person in this car who isn't beefed to hell and back, it's him. All lithe muscle and tendons and borderline svelte proportions; he made peace long ago that he wouldn't ever be able to pack on muscle the same way his colleagues do.

Through a pout he would insist is not on his lips, "It's your turn, Sousuke-senpai."

How quickly something so stupid and vapid had torn him out of his own brain, misery packed into the trunk of his mind for now. Even if it's just for a little while. That was Rin's charm.

[buttterfly]

It's because Rin's got coping mechanisms for Days™. If anyone can pull their head out of the depression kitty, it's him.

"Don't be so self conscious. I told you girls like pretty and little these days."

Which just has Rin. Squinting. Suddenly, those twenty or however long minutes they were gone is the most fascinating thing ever. Rin wonders what could have possibly transpired. Except now he doesn't, because he saw the way Ai teetered back to the car and he never wants to see that ever ever again.

Rin swallows, leaning back against the seat a little, scratching the back of his neck. But then he sees Ai sinking into his seat, and Rin laughs again. Rin tilts his head with a hum. He can see Sousuke's fingers gripping the steering wheel like he's trying to not let all that out in some booming laugh.

"Rules, schmules. The fact is--"

"Ai. Truth or dare? I promise I won't be as mean as passenger princess back there."

"Don't interrupt me!!"

[taeru]

Ai doesn't even have it in him to pretend to be offended. He had been the one to want to see Sousuke exasperated, but it seems the monkey paw has curled, and now Ai is sitting with crossed arms and an expression so thousands of miles away, eyeline so straight, eyebrows so flat, one could imagine him looking into a studio camera.

"I won't try to contest pretty a second time, but little? Even Nagisa-kun is smaller than I am...!" Is it a complex? Maybe. Ai never thought much about his slighter figure until the boys around him seemed to exponentially grow in height and mass and it seemed he missed his cue.

Rin's laughing, though. And Sousuke looks like he's about to. And then his two seniors are talking over one another, and despite his mostly put-on pout, Ai can't help but crack a genuine, lopsided smile.

"I don't like it when you two team up. It's dangerous."

And balks when he hears his name! Clears his throat, "I can handle it." And then, without hesitation, "Dare, please." Because he is absolutely not in a mental state to handle revealing anything at the present time, no matter how innocuous. He trusted Sousuke of all people not to ask anything inflammatory anyway, but it was an extra layer of security for his psyche.

[buttterfly]

Sousuke and Rin pass a glance at each other through the rear view mirror, and something unspoken passes between them. Rin grins, putting his arms behind his head, tilting it back and letting the show play out in front of him.

Sousuke hums, making a left turn. They're still a ways from Ai's place, and traffic is as traffic is in Tokyo. Sousuke braces his chin on one hand, looking rather deep in thought for a minute. Before he finally smirks as well.

"You did say you could handle it."

And Rin pulls the collar of his jacket up a bit, shrinking down as much as humanely possible in the seat. Because he doesn't want anyone seeing him associated with this. Or maybe he's just bracing himself. But he knows. Sousuke rolls the windows down, and looks over at Ai with the most innocent looking smile conjurable.

"Every time the car turns left, you have to scream like you're on a roller coaster."

[taeru]

Ai can sense it. It isn't an intuition, nor is it a secret sixth sense. It's more akin to anticipating a danger before it happens. Some call them prophets; others call them boys who cry wolf.

But Ai knows his friends, and can just tell from the lingering silence that whatever is coming out of Sousuke's mouth next is going to be his personal hell likely for the remainder of the car ride. He's specifically looking at Rin at first, accusatorily, as if to try and deduce what accursed brain waves have you sent to Sousuke-senpai?, and then Sousuke drops his dare.

On the one hand, it could have been much, MUCH worse. On the other hand?

Ai will happily joke around. He can be silly, even funny; especially witty. He can read a room better than most. He's not only jovial, but incredibly good at being a friend.

He draws a line at embarrassing himself on purpose.

"Why!" he balks, sinking into his car seat. "You had the entire world at your fingertips, and you chose something like this...?" And yet who is Ai kidding? Sousuke or Rin say jump, he'll always ask how high. Sousuke pulls a left after a light.

Ai hesitates.

"Aaaahh." It's incredibly lukewarm. Though to his credit, his hands are raised above his head. "Can we just-- Rin-senpai, it's your turn." No it isn't, but Ai says now it is.

[buttterfly]

It’s stupid and equally hysterical.

Sousuke and Rin barely have any composure left to begin with after the ups and downs of the day. But this is rejuvenating in its own right. And they both fucking lose it at Ai’s half hearted attempt to play along. To the point where Sousuke almost swerves into someone. But eh. Details.

Rin is acutely aware he’s in the spotlight now, and groans. Ugh. He’s such a pussy. His head is wrought after everything, even with that fresh bought of laughter they’ve been able to indulge in. He tilts his head, staring at a very interesting flower shop they drive by.

Before he decidedly sighs, and leans his head back.

”Ugh, fine. Truth. Can’t be worse than whatever you assholes already know about me.”