[rin squints back down over the finer details. he gets so worked up and excited over things, sometimes it's easy to just... miss the basics]
Leaving Monday... direct flight, yeah I think they crammed us all on the same one. Ugh. Never going to escape these fucking fourteen hour flights...
[rin is absolutely moping, will he ever go on a plane for less than a decade? sounds like a personal problem, matsuoka. he tosses his phone back onto his jacket, rolling over to lay flat on the floor and staring up at the ceiling for a moment. before he makes another noise and rubs his palms against his eyes]
Fair warning, I deprive myself of sleep for a good fourty eight hours before that type of thing.
[just as a heads up in case he's...crabbier than usual. since there's been a space of reprieve between them without any of his tantrums. but ai brings up a good point, and oh yeah. getting the team together would be nice. but just their friends? even nicer. rin ruffles up his sopping wet hair, pushing himself back up to a sitting position]
Maybe just our friends? I'm sure the other guys won't mind...
[but. rin can't help but just stare at ai. because??? what the fuck??? he gives him a weirded out look, slack jawed and wide eyed]
What the fuck Ai?!? Bodies? What does that even mean!?
[totally... blitzing over the other part where ai says there's better places to check out. no way he's honed in on that weird little detail his roommate decided to drop]
[His reply to Rin's warning of potential cranky tantrums is immediate and familiar,]
I can handle it.
[-- and maybe just a little tongue-in-cheek, too, given how peaceful yet borderline sterile the atmosphere has been lately. Definitely more on Ai's part than Rin's; making himself scarce, focusing hard on swimming, and keeping his cards impossibly close to his chest have naturally lent to a bit of distance between the two of them. Wounds needed dressing, so he dressed them. Tumours needed pruning-- well. He was working on that.
Still, he can't help but smile and laugh just a little when Rin flops and rolls on the tiled floor, hands politely folded behind his back. Rolls his eyes up in thought when Rin agrees it might not be a bad idea.]
Monday's right around the corner, and we have even less time if you want to show up in proper form. [Those two days of no sleep, he means.] Maybe it's better to do it once we're all in Paris... But a send-off really would be nice....
[Hemming and hawing... Then Rin's guffawing at him, and Ai smiles in that I'm not weird you're weird way of his.]
It means don't swim in the river, senpai! I guess it's allowed, but I don't think it's a very good idea.
[Rin wants to make some retort that yeah he knows ai can handle it. But for some reason that dies on his tongue. Instead he scoffs, and pushes his hand through his hair]
I’m telling you. Starve yourself of sleep and an allergy pill? You’ll have the best flight ever.
[he settles on instead. But ai is right. They’re right on the cusp, and that excitement is looming. Just like before all Japan. Rin stares up at Ai contemplatively before pressing his knuckle to his chin as though in deep thought]
Yeahhhh. Maybe once we’re all there and unjetlagged. Show us some of your weird body rivers. Long as that’s not what we’re eating too!
[he says with a smirk, hauling himself to his feet]
Yeah yeah fine. No swimming in the river. That’s foul, dude. Not even gonna ask how you know that…
[Ai had given solid advice against tourist traps and health hazards. Rin's suggesting post-humous cannibalism was ever on the table?! Ai can't tell if he's pulling his leg, taunting him for saying something weird, or playing it all straight. He feels mildly made fun of, but shrugs it off expertly, nose in the air and fighting down the flush that threatens to overtake his cheeks.]
I feel I did okay on the flight to Budapest, but I got really lucky and didn't have anyone sitting next to me...
[Professional pivot, Aiichirou, good job.] Maybe it's worth being cranky for two nights. Especially if I get sat next to someone I'd rather not... [Or Nanase. Not because of awkwardness, but because Ai knows he'd try to strike up convo to find similarities to get rid of the big bad beast in his head, and he knows Nanase wouldn't reciprocate. Ai isn't about to endure a social pain like that for nearly thirteen hours. The inverse could be true, too; Shiina could talk circles around him, and Ai isn't so sure he can endure that for such a length of time either... Rin's method is appearing more appealing by the second.]
Ah, by the way, I'll skip the shower. I want to run the length home, so I'll take one when we get back.
[but the topic changes direction, and rin simply rolls with it, wishing to keep them from any discomforts he's previously plunged them into. time and time again at that. rin grabs his bag, and begins to head back towards the locker rooms.
seating assignments are literally the last thing on his mind. hopefully too passed out to care if ikuya is annoying him, or natsuya was getting sloshed. haru or ai would be fine, he guesses? sousuke or alone would be most preferable of all though, let's be honest. but alone isn't happening in a millenia, and suddenly rin just hopes he gets stuck with sitting next to a coach or something]
Someone's got a fire lit under him.
[rin comments over his shoulder as he starts pulling his clothes on. he's not one to be one upped thanks!! so guess he'll just run too. it's still awkward back at the apartment. because rin looks places and remembers things and fuck ups and a plethora of other things. but he tries to shove that thought aside as he pulls on a tan top and a running jacket, grimacing as he peels his jammers off.
yes jammers. no legskins anymore in competition. ugh. haru's going to have a fucking field day seeing this pathetic display]
Race you home?
[he offers instead. that seems more tame, right? nothing like a little competitive spirit to get them both mustered up for the following days]
[Ai's flame may not burn as brightly and encompass as many people as Rin's, but he was a competitive swimmer all the same! And certainly hated to underperform. His smile could even be described as a little bit cocky, Rin pointing out the obvious.
All the same he is in the changing room just long enough to peel his swim shorts off and pull his clean clothes on. Hoists his sports bag over his shoulder and, when asked to race the way back, tightens it just a bit across his chest.]
Whoever loses pays for dinner?
[It'd inevitably be Ai; Rin's legs were longer. Ai had the stamina over him in spades, but they were both acclimated to running this length. All the same, what harm was there in some stakes? He could still try.
This much was easy. A common peace; something nostalgic in both its simplicity and how it seems to be doing a dogshit job at plastering over the obvious. But Ai knows those sorts of things only come to be fixed with time; either time to forget, or time for people to come around. He's famously good and even diligent at extending patience, and so doesn't mind.]
Feel like I'm the one who keeps reminding you not to forget.
[rin sticks his tongue out, he doesn't even bother tossing a gaze ai's way like he might have once. nope. he sticks to his own corner, sticks to his own boundaries now. he fumbles around his bag for his pair of running shorts he's stuffed somewhere......aha, there they are, and he begins to pull those up to his hips, near stumbling through the second leg. slick puddle. swim pool locker. you think he would memorize these things, but alas.
this is rin matsuoka we're talking about here]
You're on.
[he'll see that bet, not just because he knows he'll win but because he's fucking exhausted and doesn't feel like cooking anything tonight. hell, he'll eat instant noodles or a bowl of rice at this point. even if the giddy excitement stirring in him over their upcoming travel plans is coursing through him.
he's good at masking. what rin is more surprised about is how good ai is too. he knows there's some shit they've brushed under the rug. a lot of stuff in fact. but pretending like it hasn't existed to begin with? avoiding stepping on one another's toes, and pressing too close.
or maybe rin is just overthinking, and that's truly just him. entirely possible. he sits down to begin shoving his wet clothes in his bag, grabbing his phone and blinking at the screen first, still not giving ai a once over until he's absolutely sure he's done changing]
Not doing udon though, that's my only requirement. Got any requests in case you beat my ass?
[Ai is famously bad at keeping his cards close. Their first year together, he made zero attempts at hiding his borderline undying fealty for Rin, and the only reason he ever slowed his roll is because Rin moved out. By the time Ai developed words for all he'd felt, they'd been so engrained into what it even meant for him to be Rin's friend. Not worth mincing. He never had to hide it, because he lived it daily.
Then he slipped.
Ai is famously bad at keeping his cards close, but famously excellent at learning something from nothing. Zero natural talent for swimming yet competing internationally; zero natural talent for masks, yet in record time he's learned to keep one up for Rin's sake. Or maybe this, too, is all a part of the delinquency Rin had taught him?
Thoughts that only barely flit through his mind; he's making for the locker room exit, pausing with his back against the push-bar as he waits for Rin to get his stuff together.
Rolls his eyes up in mock-thought. He may be self-kept, but he was never not friendly or playful; they were still friends, after all. Rin still his most important person.]
Your eggs are pretty good. If it's your loss, maybe we do Western breakfast for dinner.
[His smile is easy-going, using the small of his back to push the door open, waiting for Rin to exit into the aquatic center, and then to the entryway. If Rin starts, Ai will immediately give chase!]
...well, okay. maybe western breakfast doesn't sound so bad after all. rin opens his mouth, about to say something about ai holding the door open for him. but it falters quickly, and he swallows it down. clicking his tongue, and hiking his bag a little higher up on his shoulder. he begins his stupid jogging backward nonsense, hands stuffed into his pockets and a smirk back on his face, replacing whatever might have just flitted across his features.
always slipping back into that mask]
You're on, shorty. If you win, I'll even throw in those fluffy pancakes you like.
[there is no way in hell ai is going to win this. but rin lags a little in his weird backwards trot, keeping his focus on ai. game on. it's fun to pretend anyways. well, when it's not hurting people in emotionally baring yourself to them at least...
he shoves the thought away, spitting akin to a cat when he nearly beefs it on a small crack in the sidewalk. okay, yeah. he's focusing now!! he turns back around with a scoff, setting a good pace. ai's apartment isn't far. the sights around him achingly familiar now. all of this sucks. he sucks for messing this up in the first place, and possibly considering moving his ass out. but that's not important.
training camp!! that's what's important now! rin calls over his shoulder, all cocky toned and smug because that's just how he is]
Better get ready to call up that place with the gyutan!
[It's for the better Ai doesn't notice he's accidentally drawn a parallel, and doesn't notice the flash of something across Rin's countenance. That memory, despite all, still remained precious to him. Perhaps precious because it was back when everything was so-- easy. And light. And it didn't feel like a sin to wonder for a fleeting moment whether or not he had been flirting, and whether or not Rin had been flirting back.
This time, of course, he's only being friendly and courteous.
He's quick to follow after Rin and laughs a little when he nearly trips; Ai immediately picks up the pace to capitalize on Rin's fumble, going so far as to strongly smack Rin's shoulder with his palm as he begins to jog. At Rin's quip, Ai levels him with an annoyed expression that still manages to be playful,]
You're only eight centimeters taller than I am!!,
[before breaking out into a proper run, one hand steady on the strap of his sports bag to keep it from banging against his back too much. They both knew without a shadow of a doubt Rin would make it home first, but. Ai was still determined to try! His feet pound into the pavement hard enough to reverberate between his ears. Straight here; a turn here. Rin's already pulled ahead, but it only spurs Ai on to run faster, now in a full-on sprint; he's catching up.]
With that thick sliced ham too!, [he shouts, taunting. There's less than a third of the way left now; Ai can see their building in purview. Would that his legs could carry him faster, but for not exactly being an Olympic track and field athlete, his sprint is pretty impressive on its own.]
[it's some small wonder that despite everything, they can still slip into moments like this. where it almost feels that nothing happened at all. sans... the contemplation of whether it was all innocent or whether that little feeling in rin's chest was something else or--]
Still taller!
[rin calls cattily over his shoulder, letting ai close the distance a little bit. it brings a faint stirring to his heart again, the thing he knows isn't just from running. or maybe it's more of a weight in his chest, an agonizing guilt from all the shit he's tarnished in the very place they're sprinting back towards. the place he's thought about ditching time and time again, but can't quite pull the plug on.
but... rin slows a bit purposely this time, though he can pretend to blame it on his leg. it's been fine since that day he embarrassed himself, but sometimes he still favors it. just out of caution. and now is one of those times. ai's speed is impressive, and seeing a stupid spark reignite behind his eyes make's rin...]
Ah, fuck!
[he hisses. it's a complete fake out, but he pretends to hop on one leg a bit from a "cramp" and slacks in his movements, giving ai that last bit of distance he needs to sprint up the stiars towards his victory. whether ai decides to take it or not, rin has his hands pressed against his knees, bent over and sucking in a few breaths. that sprint on top of the way they beat their bodies ragged in the pool today is enough to make anyone winded]
[Ai blows past Rin on the stairwell, and in similar fashion falls with his hands on his knees in a desperate attempt to pull air into his lungs, head hung low as he does. Once upon a time, his respiratory could have been described as weak; building up his stamina and swimming have certainly helped in this regard, but land training - running included - can sometimes pose a small problem.
Once he's pulled enough air down to breathe steadily, he looks to Rin with a pulled brow and a pout to match! Ai slides a hand back through his hair, inadvertently ruffling it up as he pushes it away from his sweaty forehead.]
Senpai, it's no good if you just throw like that!
[Ai can smell from a mile away when you're being soft on him, Rin. Ai knows Rin would never ever second-guess Ai's athletic prowess, so the reasons for why Rin would force the loss in their friendly bet is lost on Ai. Maybe he just really wanted eggs and Canadian-styled ham, too? Ai stands to full height, still catching his breath, hand reaching into his zipped coat pocket for his house keys. As he tries to fish them out he mutters,]
You owe me a rematch,
[Before finally getting his keys, fishing them out, and unlocking the door. He's about to push it open, but hesitates, looking down at Rin just beside him. Through his put-on and playful ire, there's a sudden spark of sincerity... Just in case.]
You didn't really cramp, did you? Are you alright?
[rin huffs, pulling himself up and pressing his hands against the small of his back. he scowls and gives ai a dirty look, watching him muss up his hair for a moment. before he rolls his eyes]
Fine. Whatever. Ham and eggs just sounded good, sue me.
[he huffs in response, trying to pop something knotted up in the small of his back while he waits for ai to open the door. but they falter in the doorway momentarily, and ai is just looking at him. before dipping into more worrying territory, and rin just snorts]
I'm fine. Also, you didn't hear this from me, but. [he pulls his bag a bit lower on his shoulder, leaning in like it's some deep, dark, horrible secret he's about to share] Literally everyone on the swim team used to wish you'd mess your hair up more like that. Looks waaaay better.
[and he fucking loses it, and a laugh barks out of him, before he pulls back, hands back in his pockets and waits for ai inevitably throwing something at him, or slamming the door in his face. both would be well deserved but]
[Rin borderline looms over him, and Ai subconsciously presses his back further against the door. A feeling that had grown somewhat unfamiliar rears itself in his gut and his chest, half-way split between a warmth Ai would have once said paired with it like the sun paired with the sky, and a dank cold that sends a chill down his spine at memories he's tried very hard to keep buried deep. Deep.
He knows Rin wouldn't try again - trusts he wouldn't. But. A proximity like that, and a nature and longing Ai just can't shake no matter how hard he tries, it's hard not to start doomsday prepping.
For all his fretting, Rin's just teasing him, and sure as sunshine gets a monster-sized pout out of Ai, who isn't sure whether he should feel flattered or insulted. His face is heated to the colour of Rin's hair, less so at the insinuation their old team apparently found him attractive and moreso at the insinuation that Rin did, after all. Under some circumstances. Now was really not the time to try and contend with any of this, and in a flustered hurry, Ai is petting his hair back down to lay neat and flat on his head again.]
Is that a normal thing to think about someone...?! What do you mean the whole team!!
[I'm doomed until the day I die, Ai reckons, staring at Rin with a deadpan he so badly wishes would offset the latent flush to his cheeks. Ai neither throws something nor slams the door; Ai instead takes Rin by the backs of his shoulders and all but shoves him inside.]
[rin spits as ai shoves him past the door but not after undoing the mussed up appearance he was just saving himself with. whatever don't take his fashion advice!! rin kicks his shoes off indignantly, bristling as he looks over his shoulder]
And yes the whole team thought that, damn!!
[rin distinctly remembers momo telling him ai was cute once when his hair was all puffed up and hot and-- he shoves that thought aside. nope. nope. not right now. next time he'll keep his fashion, hair style, whatever advice to himself and be done with it. rin groans, but decides okay. being a shit is fine if ai is going to be this offended and he sags against ai's hands digging into his shoulders, leaning back into them with all his weight while supporting himself on his heels]
Think I remember you saying something about... me throwing the match? Does that mean I still have to cook? I dunno.....
[yes he's absolutely being a monumental shit right now since ai called him out and ignored him. it's the first time things have felt normal in weeks, months in fact. rin knows he has to do laundry and pack and get shit ready. but slipping back into something for just a brief millisecond is stupid. but he's selfish and never claimed to be smart]
[Not because Ai's self-esteem was low - not anymore, anyway - but the idea of Rin, specifically, confiding in or gathering this intel from their old team is laughable in how foreign it is. Or maybe Ai was projecting, his attempts at putting space between them obfuscating things he might've taken for granted in the past. For example, Ai thought of Rin often, so it stood to reason Rin maybe thought of Ai often... Especially in the context of swimming. But now, Ai operates under the exclusive purview of if I don't hear it or see it, it didn't happen. As far as Ai's concerned, if he isn't under Rin's nose, he's an afterthought now.
And Ai never heard wind of this in high school, so!!!
Rin quite literally digs in his heels, and Ai does a few mental calculations to make sure Rin wouldn't break his neck before... Oops, yeah, just as Rin leans back against him Ai is letting go and stepping aside and see you next fall, Rin.
You can make fun of his hair and talk behind his back. You can throw a friendly competition. But reneging on dinner plans? That's three strikes, Matsuoka, and Ai isn't impressed! He toes off his shoes and marches into their apartment.]
I'm going to shower! Cook or don't! But next time you flake, I'm not forgiving you so easily!!
[Is he pouting? Maybe. Truthfully... That spark of something old, and familiar, makes it truly difficult to be annoyed at Rin. Ai just wishes it didn't come at the expense of essentially cutting himself in half. Ai spares a moment to drop his sports bag near his bed and gather clean clothes before entering the bathroom... And...
Okay. He stares in the mirror. Ruffles up his hair. And stares longer. I don't get it...?]
rin absolutely topples over in a pissed off heap as ai pisses off to the bathroom. rin matsuoka is a man of his word. but you are the one insinuating he threw a game meant for children ai. so who's the unimpressive one now?? rin hauls himself off the floor, pissed and bristling as he tosses some curse at ai as he fucks off to the bathroom and rin equally fucks off to the kitchen.
it's some small stroke of luck that they have what they need. why rin bought ham in the first place is absolutely mind boggling. he didn't think ai liked this stuff that much, but... he makes a face at the eggs he pulls out of the fridge alongside the meat and shuts it with his hip, unceremoniously dumping everything on the counter.
whenever ai graces rin with his presence again, rin is absolutely not going back on his word. there's eggs. there's ham. there's fucking fluffy pancakes he whipped up with the last of the flour and eggs and even added some cinnammon to them because. well. it's something he picked up during his time abroad and it's good!
he shoots a glare at ai whenever he comes out, and runs a hand through his hair]
[Ai's shower is quick and unremarkable, though once again as soon as he's out and about to begin blowdrying his hair, he instead stops and just stares at himself in the mirror. Leans in this time. His hair was no good, but what about the rest of him? Ai didn't think he was that bad to look at; it'd take another day and an age to convince him to think of himself as beautiful, but. He had clear skin, he thinks he has nice eyes, he thinks his beauty mark is a very unique feature...
I thought I had nice hair, too. He ruffles up his fringe again. Pets it down only a little bit. Trying to see what apparently everyone else except him did... Maybe just this once he won't blowdry it, and will wait to see what happens.
Realizing he's in his head at the prospect of whether or not Rin finds him attractive, Ai slaps his cheeks twice and firmly scolds himself, you can't be concerned with something so vapid right now!!! before pulling on his clean clothes - short shorts, large shirt - and exiting into the apartment to the smell of something incredible.
If Ai was annoyed, it's firmly checked back in the shower. Rather than sit down, Ai comes to observe the spread that Rin's cooked up, goofy stupid little smile threatening to bisect his face in two.]
Wow, Rin-senpai! You actually did it. [Okay maybe he's being sarcastic with that one, only a little, but the joy in his expression is hard to mistake - as is the way he looks to Rin with it, paired with a slight simper on his brow line.] I guess some things you're still competitive about after all. [Running home? Beneath him. Making the best fucking breakfast for dinner? Check.]
I wonder how it stacks against our nutrition sheets. [Knowing Rin, it probably somehow manages to fit exactly into their nutrition sheets. Ai finally sits down, says his thanks, and begins to dig in.]
[rin's turned himself around to mess with the ham steaks, fussing with them on the plates again because. well, he's a perfectionist and this is nothing short of that. especially when they're headed to the very top a-s-a-p. he wipes his forehead, exceedingly proud of himself]
Damn right. Better be the best fucking breakfast you ever taste.
[it's supper actually rin, but alright. and when he does turn around again, he stares at ai wide eyed for a second because--
well.
he fucking did it. his hair is all messed up and not combed down, and rin's breath lodges in his throat for a moment. but it's gone an instant later, and run drags his hand down the back of his neck, muttering as he slides ai's plate over the counter towards him
It stacks up just fine! What do you think I am, stupid?
[rin spits and bristles in retort, pushing a spoon through his pancake to shove into his mouth. eating them with chopsticks isn't actually as refined, and he can appreciate things beyond chopsticks thanks to his time abroad. still, he keeps his eyes fixed firmly on his plate before muttering]
Wouldn't sabotage us so close to this anyways. You know that.
You get caught up in the heat of the moment, sometimes.
[Which is to say no he of course doesn't think Rin is stupid and he doesn't think Rin would sabotage them this close to training camp either, but similarly Ai doesn't think one (1) meal had the capacity to sabotage them, and he trusts Rin enough that even if it was intended as a cheat meal, it wouldn't tank their guts completely.
If Rin has a reaction to Ai's patient attempt at seeing what his hair looks like when it dries unkempt, he doesn't notice it. It had a penchant for drying straight anyway, but... Maybe it looked better with a little fluff to it? He doesn't know. It's on his mind as he eats though, which is distracting and unhelpful and making him feel self-conscious and stupid. It's just hair. It doesn't matter what Rin-senpai thinks, it won't change anything--
Ah.
Suddenly he's shoveling pancakes and ham steaks down his gullet with vigor.]
Thank you for following through. [Ai's crossed his ankles under their small table, and sits with the prongs of the fork pressed against his lip.] I wouldn't have actually been upset if you hadn't though... But it's every bit as delicious as I remember. Maybe in another life you had a shot at being a chef, senpai.
[there's a little pang of regret at ai's words, one rin tries to quickly stuff over with another mouthful of food. caught up in the heat of the moment is one way to put it. sometimes all he can think of is shattered china, and--]
Yeah.
[but at least ai has the sense to move onto something else, and rin is all too happy to put that thing behind him. rin just grunts in response. at least ai has some sense that rin keeps true to his word. well, mostly at least. depends on what the word is and what the situation is. he rolls his eyes at the praise, choking down a bite of eggs.
why the food suddenly tastes so sour, he'll never know]
Don't think I'd have the patience for something like that.
[well. that much is true at least. rin stabs at another piece of egg and rolls it around his plate for a moment]
...still think you'd be doing photography if it was another life for you? Or something else?
[The question is so out of left field and such a deep cut for all the conversations they've had and Ai truthfully didn't expect Rin to remember, because he never really does. Not because he thinks Rin is that cold, but because even now, this far along, Ai doesn't think of himself as memorable enough to warrant it. It's evident in the way he's gawking at Rin for a second, blinking owlishly.
Come to think of it, Ai hasn't snapped a single photo since Rin arrived. Hasn't brought out his analog camera even once. It's true, he's been incredibly busy between swimming and school and previously his work, but. Even his development studio - his closet - hasn't been touched in months. There's probably film that has been left developing in a vat of liquid since the moment Rin entered his front door.
The real answer isn't one he wants to say out loud because they have such a lovely peace right now and he doesn't want to ruin it. But Ai is a famously bad liar, so it's all he can hope that Rin chalks it up to overthinking, the way Ai instead dances somewhat awkwardly with the words he chooses to dig up that express his sentiment without bombing the mood entirely,]
Ah, well, it's hard to say, isn't it? I'm still not very good at it... At the very least, I wouldn't trade swimming for it.
[Because then I would have never met you. Something he would have said so unabashedly and wholeheartedly once upon a time. Now, it's a part of himself he's actively trying to disengage from. Time and time again, Ai re-learns just how difficult it is to untangle his life from Rin's influence on it.]
I'm surprised you remembered that, [he finally observes, smile a little bashful in how grateful it is.] It was so long ago.
he's absolutely aware of the shaky ground they're currently standing on, probably only held by the shattering pillars that is ai's restitution and determination to stay away from certain things at all costs. which is why rin feels like he's in a momentary panic, drudging up something he was astutely supposed to stay away from.
but, at least it doesn't seem that he's damaged something irreparably. or at least ai is willing to overlook if he did and give a plain enough sounding answer instead. one that makes rin's brows furrow temporarily, but he shrugs it off and picks at his food a little slower. because it sounds... well it sounds like rin at times, if he's being honest]
...always thought you were pretty decent at it.
[and he gives an honest answer in turn. but there's... something licking below the surface of that answer that rin doesn't like and is absolutely overthinking. so he strays away from it instead]
Saying I have a bad memory? [he huffs. which is partially true unfortunately] I remember shit that matters.
[Okay, maybe that does get a nice and big smile out of him, hidden first behind a bite of his lip and then an intake of another portion of food to chew over. Because even now, in an ever-present battle to do away with the parts of himself he wishes to do away with, the times Rin appraises him still feels. Nice. He will not call the sudden flutter in his stomach butterflies; this much was a natural reaction to being complimented. Anyone would react the same way, having something they cared about told is half-way decent.
And then he tunes into it like a sixth sense, the way Rin's words try to bite in order to obfuscate what Ai knows is something he's tripped on accidentally. It couldn't be helped; he did have a gut feeling about it, after all. Because he knows Rin too well, and even if Ai doesn't feel it at times, Rin knows him too well. Rather than try to pretend Rin didn't intuit something that was in fact there, Ai looks at him sincerely, his smile melting into a familiar, if slightly rueful simper.]
Not at all. Actually, Rin-senpai, I think you're too sentimental to have a bad memory... [Ai idly scratches at a spot on his cheek just below his birth mark,] It was just such a passing thing, and lots has happened since then. Right? It'd only make sense if you forgot.
[he huffs, pushing the last of his eggs and ham into a more manageable pile, still picking at it a bit on the center of his plate. and he knows ai is onto him, because that's just how they've always worked over the years. there isn't much hiding of anything (unless you count rin somehow missing on ai's feelings all through the years. there might have been inklings but never anything solid. that wasn't until--]
I wouldn't forget that. Not that much of an asshole.
[and he says it dismissively, giving ai no further room to weigh in on the matter, as he shoves the last bit of protein in his mouth and starts finishing off the cinnamon cake sitting separately. different palate foods touching? yuck, no thanks. he mulls over for a few moments as he chews, and swallows, changing the topic entirely. well at least for himself. ai can talk about his photography all live long day, but]
Should probably start laundry and packing all our shit.
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Date: 2025-09-28 03:19 am (UTC)Leaving Monday... direct flight, yeah I think they crammed us all on the same one. Ugh. Never going to escape these fucking fourteen hour flights...
[rin is absolutely moping, will he ever go on a plane for less than a decade? sounds like a personal problem, matsuoka. he tosses his phone back onto his jacket, rolling over to lay flat on the floor and staring up at the ceiling for a moment. before he makes another noise and rubs his palms against his eyes]
Fair warning, I deprive myself of sleep for a good fourty eight hours before that type of thing.
[just as a heads up in case he's...crabbier than usual. since there's been a space of reprieve between them without any of his tantrums. but ai brings up a good point, and oh yeah. getting the team together would be nice. but just their friends? even nicer. rin ruffles up his sopping wet hair, pushing himself back up to a sitting position]
Maybe just our friends? I'm sure the other guys won't mind...
[but. rin can't help but just stare at ai. because??? what the fuck??? he gives him a weirded out look, slack jawed and wide eyed]
What the fuck Ai?!? Bodies? What does that even mean!?
[totally... blitzing over the other part where ai says there's better places to check out. no way he's honed in on that weird little detail his roommate decided to drop]
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Date: 2025-09-28 03:32 am (UTC)I can handle it.
[-- and maybe just a little tongue-in-cheek, too, given how peaceful yet borderline sterile the atmosphere has been lately. Definitely more on Ai's part than Rin's; making himself scarce, focusing hard on swimming, and keeping his cards impossibly close to his chest have naturally lent to a bit of distance between the two of them. Wounds needed dressing, so he dressed them. Tumours needed pruning-- well. He was working on that.
Still, he can't help but smile and laugh just a little when Rin flops and rolls on the tiled floor, hands politely folded behind his back. Rolls his eyes up in thought when Rin agrees it might not be a bad idea.]
Monday's right around the corner, and we have even less time if you want to show up in proper form. [Those two days of no sleep, he means.] Maybe it's better to do it once we're all in Paris... But a send-off really would be nice....
[Hemming and hawing... Then Rin's guffawing at him, and Ai smiles in that I'm not weird you're weird way of his.]
It means don't swim in the river, senpai! I guess it's allowed, but I don't think it's a very good idea.
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Date: 2025-09-29 12:45 am (UTC)I’m telling you. Starve yourself of sleep and an allergy pill? You’ll have the best flight ever.
[he settles on instead. But ai is right. They’re right on the cusp, and that excitement is looming. Just like before all Japan. Rin stares up at Ai contemplatively before pressing his knuckle to his chin as though in deep thought]
Yeahhhh. Maybe once we’re all there and unjetlagged. Show us some of your weird body rivers. Long as that’s not what we’re eating too!
[he says with a smirk, hauling himself to his feet]
Yeah yeah fine. No swimming in the river. That’s foul, dude. Not even gonna ask how you know that…
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Date: 2025-09-29 01:03 am (UTC)[Ai had given solid advice against tourist traps and health hazards. Rin's suggesting post-humous cannibalism was ever on the table?! Ai can't tell if he's pulling his leg, taunting him for saying something weird, or playing it all straight. He feels mildly made fun of, but shrugs it off expertly, nose in the air and fighting down the flush that threatens to overtake his cheeks.]
I feel I did okay on the flight to Budapest, but I got really lucky and didn't have anyone sitting next to me...
[Professional pivot, Aiichirou, good job.] Maybe it's worth being cranky for two nights. Especially if I get sat next to someone I'd rather not... [Or Nanase. Not because of awkwardness, but because Ai knows he'd try to strike up convo to find similarities to get rid of the big bad beast in his head, and he knows Nanase wouldn't reciprocate. Ai isn't about to endure a social pain like that for nearly thirteen hours. The inverse could be true, too; Shiina could talk circles around him, and Ai isn't so sure he can endure that for such a length of time either... Rin's method is appearing more appealing by the second.]
Ah, by the way, I'll skip the shower. I want to run the length home, so I'll take one when we get back.
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Date: 2025-09-29 11:23 pm (UTC)[but the topic changes direction, and rin simply rolls with it, wishing to keep them from any discomforts he's previously plunged them into. time and time again at that. rin grabs his bag, and begins to head back towards the locker rooms.
seating assignments are literally the last thing on his mind. hopefully too passed out to care if ikuya is annoying him, or natsuya was getting sloshed. haru or ai would be fine, he guesses? sousuke or alone would be most preferable of all though, let's be honest. but alone isn't happening in a millenia, and suddenly rin just hopes he gets stuck with sitting next to a coach or something]
Someone's got a fire lit under him.
[rin comments over his shoulder as he starts pulling his clothes on. he's not one to be one upped thanks!! so guess he'll just run too. it's still awkward back at the apartment. because rin looks places and remembers things and fuck ups and a plethora of other things. but he tries to shove that thought aside as he pulls on a tan top and a running jacket, grimacing as he peels his jammers off.
yes jammers. no legskins anymore in competition. ugh. haru's going to have a fucking field day seeing this pathetic display]
Race you home?
[he offers instead. that seems more tame, right? nothing like a little competitive spirit to get them both mustered up for the following days]
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Date: 2025-09-29 11:44 pm (UTC)[Ai's flame may not burn as brightly and encompass as many people as Rin's, but he was a competitive swimmer all the same! And certainly hated to underperform. His smile could even be described as a little bit cocky, Rin pointing out the obvious.
All the same he is in the changing room just long enough to peel his swim shorts off and pull his clean clothes on. Hoists his sports bag over his shoulder and, when asked to race the way back, tightens it just a bit across his chest.]
Whoever loses pays for dinner?
[It'd inevitably be Ai; Rin's legs were longer. Ai had the stamina over him in spades, but they were both acclimated to running this length. All the same, what harm was there in some stakes? He could still try.
This much was easy. A common peace; something nostalgic in both its simplicity and how it seems to be doing a dogshit job at plastering over the obvious. But Ai knows those sorts of things only come to be fixed with time; either time to forget, or time for people to come around. He's famously good and even diligent at extending patience, and so doesn't mind.]
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Date: 2025-10-01 03:47 am (UTC)[rin sticks his tongue out, he doesn't even bother tossing a gaze ai's way like he might have once. nope. he sticks to his own corner, sticks to his own boundaries now. he fumbles around his bag for his pair of running shorts he's stuffed somewhere......aha, there they are, and he begins to pull those up to his hips, near stumbling through the second leg. slick puddle. swim pool locker. you think he would memorize these things, but alas.
this is rin matsuoka we're talking about here]
You're on.
[he'll see that bet, not just because he knows he'll win but because he's fucking exhausted and doesn't feel like cooking anything tonight. hell, he'll eat instant noodles or a bowl of rice at this point. even if the giddy excitement stirring in him over their upcoming travel plans is coursing through him.
he's good at masking. what rin is more surprised about is how good ai is too. he knows there's some shit they've brushed under the rug. a lot of stuff in fact. but pretending like it hasn't existed to begin with? avoiding stepping on one another's toes, and pressing too close.
or maybe rin is just overthinking, and that's truly just him. entirely possible. he sits down to begin shoving his wet clothes in his bag, grabbing his phone and blinking at the screen first, still not giving ai a once over until he's absolutely sure he's done changing]
Not doing udon though, that's my only requirement. Got any requests in case you beat my ass?
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Date: 2025-10-01 03:56 am (UTC)Then he slipped.
Ai is famously bad at keeping his cards close, but famously excellent at learning something from nothing. Zero natural talent for swimming yet competing internationally; zero natural talent for masks, yet in record time he's learned to keep one up for Rin's sake. Or maybe this, too, is all a part of the delinquency Rin had taught him?
Thoughts that only barely flit through his mind; he's making for the locker room exit, pausing with his back against the push-bar as he waits for Rin to get his stuff together.
Rolls his eyes up in mock-thought. He may be self-kept, but he was never not friendly or playful; they were still friends, after all. Rin still his most important person.]
Your eggs are pretty good. If it's your loss, maybe we do Western breakfast for dinner.
[His smile is easy-going, using the small of his back to push the door open, waiting for Rin to exit into the aquatic center, and then to the entryway. If Rin starts, Ai will immediately give chase!]
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Date: 2025-10-04 01:25 am (UTC)...well, okay. maybe western breakfast doesn't sound so bad after all. rin opens his mouth, about to say something about ai holding the door open for him. but it falters quickly, and he swallows it down. clicking his tongue, and hiking his bag a little higher up on his shoulder. he begins his stupid jogging backward nonsense, hands stuffed into his pockets and a smirk back on his face, replacing whatever might have just flitted across his features.
always slipping back into that mask]
You're on, shorty. If you win, I'll even throw in those fluffy pancakes you like.
[there is no way in hell ai is going to win this. but rin lags a little in his weird backwards trot, keeping his focus on ai. game on. it's fun to pretend anyways. well, when it's not hurting people in emotionally baring yourself to them at least...
he shoves the thought away, spitting akin to a cat when he nearly beefs it on a small crack in the sidewalk. okay, yeah. he's focusing now!! he turns back around with a scoff, setting a good pace. ai's apartment isn't far. the sights around him achingly familiar now. all of this sucks. he sucks for messing this up in the first place, and possibly considering moving his ass out. but that's not important.
training camp!! that's what's important now! rin calls over his shoulder, all cocky toned and smug because that's just how he is]
Better get ready to call up that place with the gyutan!
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Date: 2025-10-04 02:51 am (UTC)This time, of course, he's only being friendly and courteous.
He's quick to follow after Rin and laughs a little when he nearly trips; Ai immediately picks up the pace to capitalize on Rin's fumble, going so far as to strongly smack Rin's shoulder with his palm as he begins to jog. At Rin's quip, Ai levels him with an annoyed expression that still manages to be playful,]
You're only eight centimeters taller than I am!!,
[before breaking out into a proper run, one hand steady on the strap of his sports bag to keep it from banging against his back too much. They both knew without a shadow of a doubt Rin would make it home first, but. Ai was still determined to try! His feet pound into the pavement hard enough to reverberate between his ears. Straight here; a turn here. Rin's already pulled ahead, but it only spurs Ai on to run faster, now in a full-on sprint; he's catching up.]
With that thick sliced ham too!, [he shouts, taunting. There's less than a third of the way left now; Ai can see their building in purview. Would that his legs could carry him faster, but for not exactly being an Olympic track and field athlete, his sprint is pretty impressive on its own.]
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Date: 2025-10-05 02:30 am (UTC)Still taller!
[rin calls cattily over his shoulder, letting ai close the distance a little bit. it brings a faint stirring to his heart again, the thing he knows isn't just from running. or maybe it's more of a weight in his chest, an agonizing guilt from all the shit he's tarnished in the very place they're sprinting back towards. the place he's thought about ditching time and time again, but can't quite pull the plug on.
but... rin slows a bit purposely this time, though he can pretend to blame it on his leg. it's been fine since that day he embarrassed himself, but sometimes he still favors it. just out of caution. and now is one of those times. ai's speed is impressive, and seeing a stupid spark reignite behind his eyes make's rin...]
Ah, fuck!
[he hisses. it's a complete fake out, but he pretends to hop on one leg a bit from a "cramp" and slacks in his movements, giving ai that last bit of distance he needs to sprint up the stiars towards his victory. whether ai decides to take it or not, rin has his hands pressed against his knees, bent over and sucking in a few breaths. that sprint on top of the way they beat their bodies ragged in the pool today is enough to make anyone winded]
Okay, okay. Ham it is, shit.
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Date: 2025-10-05 02:44 am (UTC)Once he's pulled enough air down to breathe steadily, he looks to Rin with a pulled brow and a pout to match! Ai slides a hand back through his hair, inadvertently ruffling it up as he pushes it away from his sweaty forehead.]
Senpai, it's no good if you just throw like that!
[Ai can smell from a mile away when you're being soft on him, Rin. Ai knows Rin would never ever second-guess Ai's athletic prowess, so the reasons for why Rin would force the loss in their friendly bet is lost on Ai. Maybe he just really wanted eggs and Canadian-styled ham, too? Ai stands to full height, still catching his breath, hand reaching into his zipped coat pocket for his house keys. As he tries to fish them out he mutters,]
You owe me a rematch,
[Before finally getting his keys, fishing them out, and unlocking the door. He's about to push it open, but hesitates, looking down at Rin just beside him. Through his put-on and playful ire, there's a sudden spark of sincerity... Just in case.]
You didn't really cramp, did you? Are you alright?
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Date: 2025-10-05 05:40 pm (UTC)[rin huffs, pulling himself up and pressing his hands against the small of his back. he scowls and gives ai a dirty look, watching him muss up his hair for a moment. before he rolls his eyes]
Fine. Whatever. Ham and eggs just sounded good, sue me.
[he huffs in response, trying to pop something knotted up in the small of his back while he waits for ai to open the door. but they falter in the doorway momentarily, and ai is just looking at him. before dipping into more worrying territory, and rin just snorts]
I'm fine. Also, you didn't hear this from me, but. [he pulls his bag a bit lower on his shoulder, leaning in like it's some deep, dark, horrible secret he's about to share] Literally everyone on the swim team used to wish you'd mess your hair up more like that. Looks waaaay better.
[and he fucking loses it, and a laugh barks out of him, before he pulls back, hands back in his pockets and waits for ai inevitably throwing something at him, or slamming the door in his face. both would be well deserved but]
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Date: 2025-10-05 05:54 pm (UTC)He knows Rin wouldn't try again - trusts he wouldn't. But. A proximity like that, and a nature and longing Ai just can't shake no matter how hard he tries, it's hard not to start doomsday prepping.
For all his fretting, Rin's just teasing him, and sure as sunshine gets a monster-sized pout out of Ai, who isn't sure whether he should feel flattered or insulted. His face is heated to the colour of Rin's hair, less so at the insinuation their old team apparently found him attractive and moreso at the insinuation that Rin did, after all. Under some circumstances. Now was really not the time to try and contend with any of this, and in a flustered hurry, Ai is petting his hair back down to lay neat and flat on his head again.]
Is that a normal thing to think about someone...?! What do you mean the whole team!!
[I'm doomed until the day I die, Ai reckons, staring at Rin with a deadpan he so badly wishes would offset the latent flush to his cheeks. Ai neither throws something nor slams the door; Ai instead takes Rin by the backs of his shoulders and all but shoves him inside.]
Stop making fun of me and go cook!
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Date: 2025-10-06 03:18 am (UTC)[rin spits as ai shoves him past the door but not after undoing the mussed up appearance he was just saving himself with. whatever don't take his fashion advice!! rin kicks his shoes off indignantly, bristling as he looks over his shoulder]
And yes the whole team thought that, damn!!
[rin distinctly remembers momo telling him ai was cute once when his hair was all puffed up and hot and-- he shoves that thought aside. nope. nope. not right now. next time he'll keep his fashion, hair style, whatever advice to himself and be done with it. rin groans, but decides okay. being a shit is fine if ai is going to be this offended and he sags against ai's hands digging into his shoulders, leaning back into them with all his weight while supporting himself on his heels]
Think I remember you saying something about... me throwing the match? Does that mean I still have to cook? I dunno.....
[yes he's absolutely being a monumental shit right now since ai called him out and ignored him. it's the first time things have felt normal in weeks, months in fact. rin knows he has to do laundry and pack and get shit ready. but slipping back into something for just a brief millisecond is stupid. but he's selfish and never claimed to be smart]
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Date: 2025-10-06 03:28 am (UTC)[Not because Ai's self-esteem was low - not anymore, anyway - but the idea of Rin, specifically, confiding in or gathering this intel from their old team is laughable in how foreign it is. Or maybe Ai was projecting, his attempts at putting space between them obfuscating things he might've taken for granted in the past. For example, Ai thought of Rin often, so it stood to reason Rin maybe thought of Ai often... Especially in the context of swimming. But now, Ai operates under the exclusive purview of if I don't hear it or see it, it didn't happen. As far as Ai's concerned, if he isn't under Rin's nose, he's an afterthought now.
And Ai never heard wind of this in high school, so!!!
Rin quite literally digs in his heels, and Ai does a few mental calculations to make sure Rin wouldn't break his neck before... Oops, yeah, just as Rin leans back against him Ai is letting go and stepping aside and see you next fall, Rin.
You can make fun of his hair and talk behind his back. You can throw a friendly competition. But reneging on dinner plans? That's three strikes, Matsuoka, and Ai isn't impressed! He toes off his shoes and marches into their apartment.]
I'm going to shower! Cook or don't! But next time you flake, I'm not forgiving you so easily!!
[Is he pouting? Maybe. Truthfully... That spark of something old, and familiar, makes it truly difficult to be annoyed at Rin. Ai just wishes it didn't come at the expense of essentially cutting himself in half. Ai spares a moment to drop his sports bag near his bed and gather clean clothes before entering the bathroom... And...
Okay. He stares in the mirror. Ruffles up his hair. And stares longer. I don't get it...?]
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Date: 2025-10-06 04:34 am (UTC)rin absolutely topples over in a pissed off heap as ai pisses off to the bathroom. rin matsuoka is a man of his word. but you are the one insinuating he threw a game meant for children ai. so who's the unimpressive one now?? rin hauls himself off the floor, pissed and bristling as he tosses some curse at ai as he fucks off to the bathroom and rin equally fucks off to the kitchen.
it's some small stroke of luck that they have what they need. why rin bought ham in the first place is absolutely mind boggling. he didn't think ai liked this stuff that much, but... he makes a face at the eggs he pulls out of the fridge alongside the meat and shuts it with his hip, unceremoniously dumping everything on the counter.
whenever ai graces rin with his presence again, rin is absolutely not going back on his word. there's eggs. there's ham. there's fucking fluffy pancakes he whipped up with the last of the flour and eggs and even added some cinnammon to them because. well. it's something he picked up during his time abroad and it's good!
he shoots a glare at ai whenever he comes out, and runs a hand through his hair]
There. Satisfied??
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Date: 2025-10-06 01:58 pm (UTC)I thought I had nice hair, too. He ruffles up his fringe again. Pets it down only a little bit. Trying to see what apparently everyone else except him did... Maybe just this once he won't blowdry it, and will wait to see what happens.
Realizing he's in his head at the prospect of whether or not Rin finds him attractive, Ai slaps his cheeks twice and firmly scolds himself, you can't be concerned with something so vapid right now!!! before pulling on his clean clothes - short shorts, large shirt - and exiting into the apartment to the smell of something incredible.
If Ai was annoyed, it's firmly checked back in the shower. Rather than sit down, Ai comes to observe the spread that Rin's cooked up, goofy stupid little smile threatening to bisect his face in two.]
Wow, Rin-senpai! You actually did it. [Okay maybe he's being sarcastic with that one, only a little, but the joy in his expression is hard to mistake - as is the way he looks to Rin with it, paired with a slight simper on his brow line.] I guess some things you're still competitive about after all. [Running home? Beneath him. Making the best fucking breakfast for dinner? Check.]
I wonder how it stacks against our nutrition sheets. [Knowing Rin, it probably somehow manages to fit exactly into their nutrition sheets. Ai finally sits down, says his thanks, and begins to dig in.]
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Date: 2025-10-06 10:28 pm (UTC)Damn right. Better be the best fucking breakfast you ever taste.
[it's supper actually rin, but alright. and when he does turn around again, he stares at ai wide eyed for a second because--
well.
he fucking did it. his hair is all messed up and not combed down, and rin's breath lodges in his throat for a moment. but it's gone an instant later, and run drags his hand down the back of his neck, muttering as he slides ai's plate over the counter towards him
It stacks up just fine! What do you think I am, stupid?
[rin spits and bristles in retort, pushing a spoon through his pancake to shove into his mouth. eating them with chopsticks isn't actually as refined, and he can appreciate things beyond chopsticks thanks to his time abroad. still, he keeps his eyes fixed firmly on his plate before muttering]
Wouldn't sabotage us so close to this anyways. You know that.
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Date: 2025-10-06 10:38 pm (UTC)[Which is to say no he of course doesn't think Rin is stupid and he doesn't think Rin would sabotage them this close to training camp either, but similarly Ai doesn't think one (1) meal had the capacity to sabotage them, and he trusts Rin enough that even if it was intended as a cheat meal, it wouldn't tank their guts completely.
If Rin has a reaction to Ai's patient attempt at seeing what his hair looks like when it dries unkempt, he doesn't notice it. It had a penchant for drying straight anyway, but... Maybe it looked better with a little fluff to it? He doesn't know. It's on his mind as he eats though, which is distracting and unhelpful and making him feel self-conscious and stupid. It's just hair. It doesn't matter what Rin-senpai thinks, it won't change anything--
Ah.
Suddenly he's shoveling pancakes and ham steaks down his gullet with vigor.]
Thank you for following through. [Ai's crossed his ankles under their small table, and sits with the prongs of the fork pressed against his lip.] I wouldn't have actually been upset if you hadn't though... But it's every bit as delicious as I remember. Maybe in another life you had a shot at being a chef, senpai.
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Date: 2025-10-08 09:51 pm (UTC)Yeah.
[but at least ai has the sense to move onto something else, and rin is all too happy to put that thing behind him. rin just grunts in response. at least ai has some sense that rin keeps true to his word. well, mostly at least. depends on what the word is and what the situation is. he rolls his eyes at the praise, choking down a bite of eggs.
why the food suddenly tastes so sour, he'll never know]
Don't think I'd have the patience for something like that.
[well. that much is true at least. rin stabs at another piece of egg and rolls it around his plate for a moment]
...still think you'd be doing photography if it was another life for you? Or something else?
[yes rin remembers things. sometimes]
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Date: 2025-10-08 10:06 pm (UTC)Come to think of it, Ai hasn't snapped a single photo since Rin arrived. Hasn't brought out his analog camera even once. It's true, he's been incredibly busy between swimming and school and previously his work, but. Even his development studio - his closet - hasn't been touched in months. There's probably film that has been left developing in a vat of liquid since the moment Rin entered his front door.
The real answer isn't one he wants to say out loud because they have such a lovely peace right now and he doesn't want to ruin it. But Ai is a famously bad liar, so it's all he can hope that Rin chalks it up to overthinking, the way Ai instead dances somewhat awkwardly with the words he chooses to dig up that express his sentiment without bombing the mood entirely,]
Ah, well, it's hard to say, isn't it? I'm still not very good at it... At the very least, I wouldn't trade swimming for it.
[Because then I would have never met you. Something he would have said so unabashedly and wholeheartedly once upon a time. Now, it's a part of himself he's actively trying to disengage from. Time and time again, Ai re-learns just how difficult it is to untangle his life from Rin's influence on it.]
I'm surprised you remembered that, [he finally observes, smile a little bashful in how grateful it is.] It was so long ago.
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Date: 2025-10-09 02:40 am (UTC)he's absolutely aware of the shaky ground they're currently standing on, probably only held by the shattering pillars that is ai's restitution and determination to stay away from certain things at all costs. which is why rin feels like he's in a momentary panic, drudging up something he was astutely supposed to stay away from.
but, at least it doesn't seem that he's damaged something irreparably. or at least ai is willing to overlook if he did and give a plain enough sounding answer instead. one that makes rin's brows furrow temporarily, but he shrugs it off and picks at his food a little slower. because it sounds... well it sounds like rin at times, if he's being honest]
...always thought you were pretty decent at it.
[and he gives an honest answer in turn. but there's... something licking below the surface of that answer that rin doesn't like and is absolutely overthinking. so he strays away from it instead]
Saying I have a bad memory? [he huffs. which is partially true unfortunately] I remember shit that matters.
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Date: 2025-10-09 02:49 am (UTC)[Okay, maybe that does get a nice and big smile out of him, hidden first behind a bite of his lip and then an intake of another portion of food to chew over. Because even now, in an ever-present battle to do away with the parts of himself he wishes to do away with, the times Rin appraises him still feels. Nice. He will not call the sudden flutter in his stomach butterflies; this much was a natural reaction to being complimented. Anyone would react the same way, having something they cared about told is half-way decent.
And then he tunes into it like a sixth sense, the way Rin's words try to bite in order to obfuscate what Ai knows is something he's tripped on accidentally. It couldn't be helped; he did have a gut feeling about it, after all. Because he knows Rin too well, and even if Ai doesn't feel it at times, Rin knows him too well. Rather than try to pretend Rin didn't intuit something that was in fact there, Ai looks at him sincerely, his smile melting into a familiar, if slightly rueful simper.]
Not at all. Actually, Rin-senpai, I think you're too sentimental to have a bad memory... [Ai idly scratches at a spot on his cheek just below his birth mark,] It was just such a passing thing, and lots has happened since then. Right? It'd only make sense if you forgot.
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Date: 2025-10-09 03:04 am (UTC)[he huffs, pushing the last of his eggs and ham into a more manageable pile, still picking at it a bit on the center of his plate. and he knows ai is onto him, because that's just how they've always worked over the years. there isn't much hiding of anything (unless you count rin somehow missing on ai's feelings all through the years. there might have been inklings but never anything solid. that wasn't until--]
I wouldn't forget that. Not that much of an asshole.
[and he says it dismissively, giving ai no further room to weigh in on the matter, as he shoves the last bit of protein in his mouth and starts finishing off the cinnamon cake sitting separately. different palate foods touching? yuck, no thanks. he mulls over for a few moments as he chews, and swallows, changing the topic entirely. well at least for himself. ai can talk about his photography all live long day, but]
Should probably start laundry and packing all our shit.
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