for @buttterfly - post-tfln

[taeru]

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[taeru]

Rin's finally relenting, and so Ai walks himself backward out of the kitchen and keeps Rin close as he does so. Desperate as he is to get away from still-hot liquid and porcelain, he's also presently a slave to his senses, and can't seem to let himself depart Rin's touch for longer than a milisecond; every step backward is met with lips seeking out a new spot of skin to kiss, to nip. Hands shifting from Rin's ass to his back, his hips, the straps of his tank top to tug him ever closer.

"I call you Rin-senpai. It's respect." His tone is direct, and sharp, and a little breathless. Ai's eyes flash open, and his gaze is heavy. Trying so hard not to let himself be goaded and negged, but Rin is making it so hard to remain the responsible one. Despite himself, his frustration and his latent indignation, the way Rin marks him rips a moan straight out of his throat, eyebrows knit and head lolled back. For a moment he bites into his bottom lip harshly; it hurt, but it felt so god damn good.

His following exhale is an attempt at recollecting his coherency.

"And yet you came to me, so what does that say?"

He finally feels the back of his heel shift against the edge of Rin's futon. And feels his blood boiling hot, raising from his stomach up into his head like a geyser. With a force he didn't know himself to be capable of - a grip on Rin's shirt that yanks and jostles him so harshly Ai hears a seam snap - Ai doesn't so much encourage Rin down onto the futon as he does make it a point to get him down there and quickly; he's switched their positions so Rin's back is facing the futon, Ai pressing his entire body forward, suspending Rin by the straps of his tank top as if threatening to just let go. If he were a lesser person and had more muscle mass, he may have just thrown Rin down and been done with it.

[buttterfly]

There's the sting.

It's not just being dangled, like some fragile ragdoll. It's not the way his breath hitches at the action, or how the intensity in Ai's gaze surely mirrors Rin's own. It's those words. Etched into his bloodstream, with how fast his heart is slamming against his ribs. It's cardiac arrest how Ai knows precisely which buttons to press. Almost better than Rin knows himself.

His eyes are wide. Because it's true.

What does that say??

He told Sousuke after Ai, after moving in with him and crashing on his floor. Sousuke didn't make any special commentary towards it. But he knew to stop asking about Australia enough that he had an inkling. Maybe there was even a light offer once or twice for Rin to stay with him. But Rin wouldn't have any part in that. Living with Sousuke and his brother sounded like a fucking horrible idea. So many questions he wasn't prepared for.

And he thought he might escape them here too. What a fucking joke. Maybe then he wouldn't be being strung along to his futon, dangling over it with Ai leering into him like a fucking predator. Rin grits his teeth, one hand flying to Ai's wrist, nails punctuating with a dig into that tender flesh around his pulsepoint.

"Is that what you think?"

Rin laughs, such a deprecating thing to slip past him. He ventures to say that fucking name for the first time in weeks. Rin tries to yank at Ai's shirt, dragging him closer, closing that distance, wanting the mattress to swallow him whole and suffocate him at this point.

"You think if I scream his name, you'll still come?" Rin is desperate for some touch, somewhere--anywhere. And so he feeds into this fucking mess he's created with a punctuated moan. Something he knows will linger, and he stares Ai right in the face to see that when it comes.

"Sou-senpai," He whines first, accentuating on that little hitch in Sousuke's name. But the next one is just downright cruel. He knows it. He does it anyways. All breathy and moaning and punctuated around the thick syllables coating his tongue. "Ha-ruka."

[taeru]

He was an idiot for thinking Rin would play fair. He was angry, but not spiteful - why would he be? Ai's worst sin was sparing him too much clemency. Weaseling under his skin.

There is so much that is said in what isn't, the silence flanking the words that drip off Rin's tongue like acid. He might not know everything, but he knows enough to identify and exploit Ai's bigger insecurities. Ai thinks Rin even looks and sounds proud of himself, too, as if finding Ai's weak spot was some grandiose achievement.

His movement feels like molasses as he settles between Rin's legs, shifting forward to force Rin's thighs up and over his own. Ai isn't looking at Rin as much as through him, mind momentarily wiped blank as if shutting down the whole system might prevent further decay.

Truthfully? He wants to cry. Scream, even. Break a second mug, this time on purpose. Rin may catch the flash of genuine vulnerability and hurt in the immediate wake after his needling. But then Ai feels it again, the slow, rumbling boil of his blood, culminating low in his guttural pit before spewing up the length of his spine and his throat and to his extremities. Rin has failed to calculate for Ai's simultaneous best and worst trait: his endurance. And he'd sooner fuck the smirk off Rin's face before letting him think for a second he's gotten the rise out of Ai he thinks he wants. Ai could handle worse than this.

One hand smooths over Rin's thigh; the other, for only a fleeting and feather-light moment, ghosts over the silhouette of his groin. Then both hands hold Rin's hips, keeping him steady as Ai grinds his hips forward, rhythmic and slow and nowhere near the fever pitch he knows Rin wants. Ai still had a point to make. His eyes fixate on Rin's stomach, exposed by his shirt having ridden up a little; Ai can't bring himself to look Rin in the eye anymore.

"You can call me whatever you'd like."

[buttterfly]

It’s not like Rin is completely oblivious to his nature. His utter talent in causing himself and those around him misfortune in these tumultuous times. He takes in AI’s expression behind narrowed eyes, and funneled irises.

Because Ai doesn’t give in. And maybe that’s the worst part. The hurt is there, but the rebuttal—the rise—is completely absent.

Rin bites his lip, focusing on AI’s half hidden expression, shadowed behind him staring at Rin’s stomach. Maybe there’s a flutter of regret. Or maybe it’s anger that Ai isn’t rising to his bait. Instead just manhandling him into a more pliant position, rolling their hips together. Rin scoffs, damn near biting through his tongue.

Ai just says that equally horrible thing. And it serves Rin right. He glares at Ai, reaching to tangle his fingers in AI’s hair and forcing his gaze up back towards him.

”Whatever.” He huffs, a tone similar to a child not getting his way. Because Ai just rolls his hips infuriatingly well again, and that pulls another moan from Rin’s lips. He tries hooking a leg around Ai to drag him closer.

[taeru]

He exhales harshly at Rin's strong hand in his hair again, forcing his gaze; Ai catches it, as much as he doesn't want to. There's a determination in his eyes, but it's heavy and almost hollow, almost like a sick martyrdom.

Leaning forward like this, he lets go of Rin's hips with one of his hands to cup the side of Rin's jaw instead, knuckles against the mattress and helping a bit to support the center of his body weight. His hands slide back into Rin's hair, and as he does, he kisses Rin again. It's hard; voracious. As if mutually choking on tongues might shut Rin up long enough for Ai to regain his emotional composure, to be where his body is again, and not somewhere miles away. It's also a convenient excuse not to have to meet his gaze, either.

A soft moan is exhaled hotly directly onto Rin's tongue, feeling the way he hooks his leg around Ai; his fingers tighten in Rin's hair, strongly fisting red strands at the base of Rin's neck, shamelessly slotting their bodies together such that even through the fabric between them, Ai can still feel their cocks rutting against one another. It's a hot, delicious warmth, a heat that can go toe-to-toe with the other much less impressive, much more pathetic heat - of shame, hurt, weakness, and rebound - that keeps threatening to spill forth from his core, over and over.

Would he suck you off? Would he bend you over? Would you retaliate? Ah, I can't stand this. He tried so god damn hard not to think about Haruka, or even Sousuke, but Rin's planted that seed, and now Ai is trying desperately to outrun his own insecurities and is losing. Frustrated with himself; none of this is enough, suddenly. He kisses the underside of Rin's jaw, and then bites as he slips his hand under the hem of Rin's sleep pants.

[buttterfly]

Tenderness is something foreign. It’s not like Haru was never nice to him. But what words and laps in the pool couldn’t solve, sex could.

Ai is infuriatingly tender. Something Rin doesn’t deserve. Especially not now. Rin shivers under the brush against his jaw, before Ai’s mouth shuts him up. Rin whines against the slide of Ai’s tongue, sucking it down as far as he can.

His hips buck up against Ai’s, eagerly grinding their cocks together. The chafe and drag of fabric against them makes him moan.

The teeth in his neck rip a gasp out of him. Something so gut wrenching, he arches his neck, fingers digging into Ai’s scalp. Keeping his mouth there. His neck is arguably one of the most sensitive spaces on him.

But Ai has his hand under Rin’s pants now, and his hips buck. Ai’s hand feels cold, but it’s exactly what he needs. Rin bites his lip, shuddering.

”Shit—“

He hates how he sounds. Hates how needy his body is for something so venomous and dripping. He can’t help it though. It’s all he knows how to do.

[taeru]

There is at least one emotion that isn't complicated among all of this, and it is the pride he feels at eliciting noises like that out of Rin. Even after all the dust has settled, regardless of how many pieces he'll have to pick up off the floor, he will at least have this one unanimously good memory he can tuck away in his mental locket later.

He laps at the pluming red mark he's left at the juncture of Rin's nape and his jaw, swallowing down a vaguely copper taste. He's conscientious like that, planting it where Rin's hair can easily obfuscate it, even if Rin presently didn't have much company to hide it from anyway. With Rin's grip on his hair Ai can't shift too much, but he can trail down Rin's neck, and he's eager to besides - they both shared this sensitivity, and it turns out Ai likes giving it as much as he does receiving it. The bites and nips that follow are softer, not meant to last; they won't turn purple and yellow in an hour's time, they will be gone before the sun sets again. But they're each little vents of Ai's messed up feelings, every bit as impermanent and easily shrugged off as he feels he is.

Lithe fingers trace down the bare skin of Rin's pelvis and the defined musculature of his upper inner thigh; it's smooth, yet firm. An athlete's build, and it causes Ai's cock to twitch in his own pants, breath exhaled in a heavy lilt at coming so close to Rin. Circumstance and context be damned, it still shot a thrill through his entire system.

Ai turns his wrist up and palms full-bodied along Rin's shaft, less stroking him as much as he's kneading him, base to tip. Drawing more of Rin out, and more of those little noises too. It's in a set rhythm, slow and unhurried, matching that of the way he is still grinding against him too, even if the friction is presently lost on account of his hand in the way.

He mumbles against Rin's neck, "You feel good. I want to see you, too." He subconsciously does not even address Rin by name, even though he normally would. Whether a sensitivity thanks to Rin's taunting or an unintentional decision to leave enough room for Rin to project without a 'senpai' ruining it is anyone's guess.

[buttterfly]

There's a certain affinity for praising phrases. Rin stares up at the ceiling as Ai whispers against his neck. Both legs slam around Ai's waist, he doesn't know what else to do but that and whine uncontrollably.

His hips buck against Ai's touch, every array of curse in english slipping out past his lips. He finally lets go of Ai's hair, hands dragging down the back of his neck. Pointedly raking his nails down just a little bit.

Just a little payback for that praising comment that makes him so fucking hard he can't think straight.

"Fuck, Ai--" It's awkward. But he feels awkward and stupid just sitting here, letting Ai do all the dirty work. Much as he appreciates it, Rin begins to squirm underneath him, slowly dragging his body downwards. His hand squeezes Ai's ass for a quick moment before snaking back around. It's awkward, and stupid and he pushes Ai's shirt up a little, dragging his tongue down his stomach as he scooches himself further down.

Giving head sounds great right now. Gives him something to do. Chokes him out a little. Everyone wins. Rin smirks as he tries fumbling with Ai's belt.

"Wanna show me how good you feel?"

[taeru]

His own name on a breathless exhale - Rin taught him that expletive years ago - is yet another one for his memory books. He can't even be upset at the loss of heat as Rin begins to quite awkwardly shift down the length of his body, riding the high of getting Rin riled up. Even if the circumstance leaves his heart hanging heavily, his body at least is cemented in the present, reactive and eager.

He sucks in a breath when Rin gives his ass a drive-by squeeze, and then holds his weight on his palms and looks down under his own chest to watch Rin continue retreating away. Shivers at feeling Rin's tongue over his skin, hot to the touch, and knowing exactly where Rin intends to bring that tongue of his causes a molten heat to churn in his gut, dick twitching preemptively in anticipation.

Their position is a little awkward like this, and Ai isn't intent on watching Rin give him head upside down. Seeing how the drawstring on his pants gives Rin trouble, Ai takes the opportunity to at least rise up onto his knees, in front of Rin's face. Looks down at the breathtaking visage of Rin hoisted up between his thighs, eager for access. Ai bites his bottom lip.

His feelings are complicated, and there's a part of him that is persistently insecure physically, but being bare for Rin was an inevitability. Ai reaches down, gently slides his hands under Rin's, and does him the mercy of untying his own pants and shoving them and his underwear down just enough to free his dick. Rin would find he's already fully hard, painfully rod-straight with built anticipation. He's in all ways perfectly proportionate and clean shaven - no surprises for Rin there.

Then he slides a hand into Rin's hair, at first moving some strands away from his face to look at him better, tucking some behind his ear. Holding them at the crown of his head, an encouraging touch. Heat pools in his gut again, and Ai subtly brings his hips forward.

"Please don't just stare," he mutters in a quick and embarrassed exhale, cockhead sliding along Rin's chin.

i dont have enough dick sucking icons and it shows

[buttterfly]

It's not like wastes anytime. Too desperate to blot out the rain slamming against the building, and too anxiously aware of the precarious position he's put them in. It's not like it matters. Ai's done this before, no strings attached. Why would it be any different with Rin?

One hand slides around to make Ai's fingers grip his hair tighter. If he won't help Rin slip into the disassociation or putrid self loathing, Rin will just do it to himself. He opens his mouth, mindful of his teeth and sinks onto Ai's dick wordlessly.

Wordlessly, but not quietly. His other hand grips him at the base, as he glides his mouth downwards. It's a choir of moans and vibrations, as he hollows out his throat and seats Ai's cock straight down. Rin pulls back almost instantly with a small gasp, before pushing it straight back down. It's sloppy, and suffocating. But it's all he wants. Rin whines around Ai's shaft, feeling that familiar sting in the corners of his eyes.

He blinks it away before squeezing his eyes shut, as he repeats the motion over. And over. And over again, encouraging Ai to use his hair as a handle, grip it as tight as possible, make him feel something. Anything.

we get creative

[taeru]

He's awestruck. It's a bizarre feeling to be paired with the rest of them already in his system, hurt and crestfallen resignation now taking up post right beside misplaced pride and awe. But the way Rin takes his cock into his mouth and his throat and does it eagerly leaves Ai with blown pupils and a mouth agape on a moan choked so far back on his tongue it doesn't quite reach their ears at first.

Then his head is lolling backward, thigh muscles tensing at the overwhelming warmth proliferating from his gut, and the fingers in Rin's hair, of their own accord, grip tight. The belated moan finally tears itself from Ai's throat, gasped and then attempted to swallow it back down; his free hand chases up toward his face to press the side of his wrist to his mouth. He isn't shy - he just doesn't want to give in too quickly.

"God," he exhales, finding his hand in Rin's hair is encouraging his movements; it's shifted to cup the back of his skull, crimson hair wild between his knuckles, pushing him forward just a little on every reciprocal bob of his head. And shallowly, with eyes rapt on his dick disappearing behind Rin's mouth, he rolls his hips forward on that same cadence. He'd worry he's hurting Rin if not for the fact Rin started on this brutal pace.

His other hand shifts away from his mouth and pushes his own hair back, eyebrows knit. "Not too much," he groans breathlessly, "I still-- I'm not done yet."

[buttterfly]

If the only thing Rin will be remembered for is his mouth--whether it's sucking dick or mouthing off--it would be an appropriate end.

He can feel everything in Ai tense up, and he wonders for a split second if he's really about to tumble over for something so simple. But then that hand in his hair tightens, and it rips a noise out of him that isn't orchestrated. Instead, entirely organic and he has swallow around Ai's dick just to take the edge off.

His throat is going to be raw tomorrow, and he just doesn't care. That burn an indication that whatever this is happened, and Rin isn't just some ghost on the blip of existence. Though maybe that's all he is to his friends. The Iwatobi ones at least.

The thought of his friends turns his ministrations a little more calculated, and he twists his mouth in some smug tilt, pulling back just enough to keep tonguing the head of Ai's dick. His breathing ragged, fist clenched around the base as he mutters.

"Didn't strike me as a one and done guy." Rin laughs, just short of mocking, as he wraps his lips around the head and groans, tonguing the slit ever so charismatically. Enough to drive any sex fiend mad, let alone someone who probably hadn't had sex since his friends with benefits stint in high school.

"But if that's all you've got, I can take care of it myself."

And Rin is cruel. He's wicked when he's like this. Because he's reaching behind himself, pushing his hand between the futon and his ass to press against himself through fabric. All with an accentuated noise as he plunged back down on Ai's cock.

[taeru]

So it really wasn't about that at all, Ai realizes. In all of this, he's incidental; whether or not he gets off, multiple times even. It's all a means to an end for Rin, who is following his own through-line. I'm not even a stand-in. Ai isn't sure if this makes him feel better or worse.

But the way Rin works his cock, tonguing his tip and causing Ai's breath to hitch and precum to bead, it's evident his body at the very least couldn't care what circumstance they were in. Fine, he thinks absently. Stamina was never his problem anyway.

"Don't," he exhales, thick and lascivious, watching Rin's free hand disappear behind his own body, giving Ai one of the most beautiful and cruel visuals he's ever had in his life. He had been so ready to surrender to Rin for now, but not at this expense; the hand in Rin's hair tightens and yanks, very gracelessly and harshly pulling Rin off from him. Forcing his head back to look up at Ai, who looks-- resigned. Yet determined. And all too hot under the collar.

His hand remains tight at the base of Rin's skull so as to keep Rin's head pulled back, looking up at him; of course, Rin could easily overpower him if he chose, but Ai has a hunch he won't. Like this, Ai's free hand slides to Rin's lips; his thumb pads at his lower lip, presses under his top lip. Smooths over one of his canines. And then his middle and index rest on Rin's bottom lip, silently demanding the obvious.

"You're being selfish." There's a vulnerable edge to his words; he doesn't just mean Rin touching himself. He doesn't mean for it to sound that way; unfortunately, Ai was never very good at lying. Despite just having had his cock down Rin's throat, it's only now he blushes, "Do you want me to touch you or not?"

[buttterfly]

The whine that is pulled out of him is something so genuine. Rin forgets his facade temporarily as Ai yanks him off of his dick. Did he push too far maybe? Not that it matters, Ai will kick him out after this is all said and done anyways--

That determined gaze smolders into him though, and Rin is temporarily dumbstruck. He stares up at Ai wide-eyed, and before he knows it there's fingers against his mouth. It's instinctual to let his jaw drop, slide his tongue across those digits. Absolutely lavishing them. His chin is already sticky and wet, but he lets some dribble pool up and over his lips. Letting his eyes hood, diligently working the fingers.

It carries on like that for a few moments, Rin acting similarly towards Ai's fingertips that he did with his dick. Maybe a little moreso now, since he can make a bit of a show out of it. His own dick is aching in his pants. He tightens his thighs together a little, just to take the edge off.

Rin yanks his mouth off of Ai's fingertips, carefully swallowing around his words. Now this can bring a little embarrassment. Because the implications of it could be taken a zillion and one different ways. Some could be accurate, others could... not so much. Rin licks his lips, leaning forward to nip at Ai's stomach, dragging his tongue against the skin immediately after.

"My bag." He pants, squeezing his eyes shut. Whether it's from shame, or just being caught like a kid with his hand in a candy jar. "There's some--"

The implication is clear, and his face burns. Which is stupid given his whole tough guy slutty act until about five milliseconds ago. But that little bottle of lube is stuffed at the bottom of his bag. It's his, just enough to take the edge off some days when his head is screaming so loud he can't shut it off. It's strawberry scented. It's absolutely not girly. It's just. Something different.

[taeru]

There is a universal truth about Matsuoka Rin, which is that he doesn't half-ass anything. Swimming, academics, friendships - sex, apparently. The way he goes at Ai's fingers hits his molten center coil in the same exact way Rin sucking him off did, a visual and tactical sensation so poignant it might make lesser men come on the spot. Rin's playful nip at the sensitive skin of his stomach immediately has his abdomen muscles twitching, not helping either.

Suddenly Rin's stopping though, and-- hesitating? It's the first time since they both meandered into the kitchen that Rin's looked-- I can't place his expression. Apprehensive? Unsure?--

"Ah." No, Ai doesn't cast judgment, because the other option was trekking half-way across the apartment to fetch his own (which was unscented and unremarkable) and Rin's just saved them both some time and awkward pause. He leans down, kisses Rin's lips once - it's too sweet, it's too intimate, and Ai's done it thoughtlessly - before shuffling just off the futon and to Rin's bag. He pauses though, looking behind him to Rin. Am I allowed to--? He just told you to!

He rummages, saying many mental apologies, and all the way at the bottom and toward the back of Rin's bag is, indeed, a vial of lubricant. Ai wastes no time in coming back to Rin, shuffling toward him on his knees; Ai's leaning over him some, encouraging Rin on his back. One hand shifting Rin's shirt up to expose his stomach and abdomen, admiring the visual feast before him, roaming over the expanse of athletic and strong muscle with an ardent devotion to his touch. Ai sucks in a breath to stay himself, then ducks down toward Rin's hemline, hooking a thumb into his pants and beginning to tug, lower. And lower still. Ai exposes Rin's cock, a hungry and awed look in his eyes, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. Tugs down further until the fabric pools below Rin's knees, leaving it up to him or not whether he kicks them off.

His hand splays open Rin's thighs, palm running under the v-line of his pelvis, over the base of his cock, momentarily kneading his sack. The other hand uncaps the vial with his thumb where Ai is holding it just beside himself--

He takes a whiff, stunned by how fragrant it is. He doesn't mean for it to hit him so hard, but considering the boring, label-less stuff he's used to...

"I thought you didn't like sweet?"

[buttterfly]

He shrinks a little under the kiss. Only because it's not what he wants, nor what he was expecting. But--

Ai retrieves the bottle easily enough, and Rin can shove that awkwardness behind him as he is lowered against the futon. Ai is diligently exploring and roving over his body, and Rin can't help but sink his teeth into his lip. Haru always lavished him, even during the messier clashes of teeth and tongues. Rin's face burns a little, and he tosses his gaze to the side, slinging his arm over his eyes.

As if that could shut the memory out completely.

His hips arch, aiding Ai shucking his pants off. He knows he's staring, he can feel those eyes boring into him while he kicks off his pants awkwardly. He really just wants Ai to barely prep him, fuck him and get his rocks off. It's all he deserves after all, and...

"Huh?" He grimaces, dropping his arm from his eyes if only to bite at the skin of the back of his hand. It does little to stop the noise that follows, the embarrassed and whiny thing.

"...shut up." Rin bites out, covering his eyes again, bucking his hips.

[taeru]

Despite all, Ai cannot help the smile that cuts across his face, Rin's suddenly contrarian attitude just like him. Feels Rin buck his hips forward, and Ai placates him by rubbing his inner thigh.

He knows Rin's mind isn't here, hasn't been the whole time. Ai isn't delusional. He'll do what Rin wants, and will allow himself the grace of at least being able to say they've slept together. It's more than he thought he'd ever get circa ~an hour ago. It still stings, of course; sits lower in his belly than his heat does, his arousal only barely keeping it from washing over him. In a way, he kind of understands why Rin is doing all of this in the first place.

He pours the lube into his palm, warms it; spreads it over his fingers. Grips Rin's dick first, just to memorize the feeling of its weight in his palm properly. Strokes him a handful of times languidly; lazily. Ai shifts up, body hovering over Rin's; his hand shifts from Rin's length to his waist, and then under his thigh, urging his legs back and his hips up.

There is a confidence in the way Ai's finger pad presses to Rin's ass, spreading liquid slick over the taut skin, unafraid to tease at him there. Fingers roving over his sensitive entrance, playing as though he'll press in, but then retreating again. Ai swallows hard; it was getting him worked up, too. He kisses Rin hard on the lips, just for a moment; then noses his head to the side to gain access to his neck, kisses down to his clavicle.

Tracing Rin's pulse point with his tongue, Ai effortlessly slides a finger in, other hand hooked under Rin's knee and pressing it back against his chest.

[buttterfly]

He wants to bite out that he doesn't deserve the consideration or niceties. The tender touch against his thigh, or the anguishingly slow stroke of his cock. Rin curses under his breath, his body betraying him as he grabs onto Ai, dragging him closer.

His leg moves up, his hips bucking with another unbridled shudder. He instinctively wraps his free leg around Ai again, pulling him closer. All while his fingers dig into Ai's scalp. Because that unsung confidence is doing something to him. Something that Rin hates.

There's some eagerness for it, the way that finger presses against him so seamlessly. Rin gasps, and he bites his lip. This wasn't meant to be sexy, the way Ai embodies just acting like he knows it all. He looks at Ai from a hooded gaze, tilting his head back to give the access to his neck. He lets slip another curse in slurred english, his body sucking Ai's finger in.

"Ai--" He hisses, digging his nails into his scalp a little harder. That wet slip of tongue against his neck does wicked things to him. Fuck anyone who's ever said Ai is some meek little nobody. Maybe Rin should bring this up at some point to Sousuke. He swallows that thought down as quickly as it flares up, he thinks as he grits his teeth.

Ai is nothing to be ashamed of, sure. But Rin?

[taeru]

Confidence was all he had in his wheelhouse at the moment, and even that was going to be on short supply relatively soon. This much he was familiar with, had fun with, the sheer amount of fantasizing he's done about the man underneath him pairing very well with the relatively few times he and Sousuke had tried. He'd spend another three, four hours mapping Rin's body for every single damned inch of his skin if given the chance. He may not meet the emotional need, certainly doesn't meet the heat, but the sex? Ai can do that. Rin's made it a point to illustrate without words that was the end goal, anyway, and Ai understood the assignment implicitly.

Hearing Rin moan his name makes his cock twitch, and he's huddled close enough to Rin that he can likely feel that right against his thigh. Ai had told himself not to take up more space than necessary, to give Rin the room to mentally escape, but with the syllable of his name on Rin's lips after all--

"Senpai," he exhales thick against the prominent expanse of Rin's neck, mouth open and teeth flush against his flesh as he wordlessly and without warning slides in a second finger. Expects Rin to take it; knows that he can. Keeps his palm up and his fingertips curled and splayed inside of him, prepping as much as coaxing, "It's no good. Already, I--"

Ai straightens his elbow supporting his weight, hollows out his back to hover over Rin, and lowers his head against the shell of his ear.

"-- I want to make a mess of you."

[buttterfly]

Everything feels so hot, so dizzying.

He's complicit in whatever ministration Ai has him locked up in. The shudder of breath exhaled against his ear, coupled with the second finger slipping in to join the first. Rin isn't a slut by any means, but he's familiar enough with his own body (and recently) that the task isn't exactly hard. He opens up easy for the second finger, sinking his hips to meet Ai's carefully curling fingers.

Senpai. Something about how Ai says it unfurls something in him. His nails surely leave little crescents in Ai's scalp, as he yanks him closer, already whispering against his ear. But then Ai fucking Nitori has to go and say something like that.

And Rin's mind wipes clean.

Haru was never versed in dirty talk. If he was in a foul enough mood or riled up enough, sure it would slip out easily enough. But that was more Rin's forte. And he realizes he likes being on the receiving end of it. Very much so. Rin's breath stutters, as he yanks Ai closer. He meets Ai's mouth in a bruising fashion, a whine fresh on his lips as he tries to crawl underneath his roommate's skin by any means possible.

The noises spilling into Ai's mouth are sensually slutty, desperate in every fashion as he practically mewls and pushes himself back against that hand. It's not enough. It's too fast. And he knows it, but he slips a little demand against Ai's mouth to go faster, more, something, anything.

Something to feel throughout all this deprecation and misery. Something real. Something that will leave behind something he can actually feel besides a hollow emptiness. The one that screams you don't belong. Rin sinks his teeth into Ai's lip pleadingly.

[taeru]

Ai wasn't even trying to be erotic - it was his honest disposition. His sincerity and what of it he felt compelled and allowed to share with Rin under this context. Knowing he has found a power to work Rin up, Ai wanted to do exactly that, in spades, and wanted to make sure Rin knew it too. Wanted to convey in some way how badly Rin was wanted - even now, even after all of this. I want to make a mess of you. I want to see you come undone. I want you to feel good.

I want you to know it was all me.

He groans feeling Rin's nails scrape at his scalp again, his vice grip spurring Ai on. He can't take it anymore either; Rin sucks him in so greedily, and is writhing like that, moaning against him like that-- it puts Ai very firmly at the end of his physical rope. He wants to be so patient, go so slow. Wants to treat Rin right - and he will - and wants to make this something worth remembering for more than just heartbreak--

It is as if his lips are trying to melt into Rin's; as if it were physically possible to sink down into him, absorb into him in one heated pile. Rin biting his lip and drawing a spec of blood was the last snap of his patience. He sucks in a harsh breath against Rin, and then leans back only enough to be able to look down at him. Finally seeks out his eyes, and in Ai's own, that ghost of something from earlier presently completely overshadowed by his arousal and determination.

He is kissing Rin sweetly, as if begging with him to just wait a little bit longer; slides his fingers out, trails his sullied hand up Rin's thigh, over his stomach. To his hip. Mutters against his lips with knit brows and a lascivious sigh, "Turn over."

[buttterfly]

And who is Rin to deny him?

He practically yanks his mouth away, as he scrabbles himself over. This is what he wants. To be treated like something to be used, face pushed down in the pillows to muffle any sullying sounds from escaping him. His tank top is all twisted and bunched up in all the wrong places, but Rin doesn't even care.

Because all Rin can hear is the static, buzzing with that tone Ai has been taking with him since this messy encounter began. It pounds in his head. As he situates himself on the futon, ass up and face buried in his arms against the pillow, Rin thinks how easy. How easy it would be to just accidentally bump a few things on his phone, record a nice voice message of Rin getting fucking railed right now and let that be his response to everyone's good luck emails?

He won't. But the thought is tempting enough. It's enough to make the blood pound in his head, and he whines a little, trying to push himself back against Ai while he pushes his face in the pillow. Desperate for something, anything. He shivers, feeling cold like this. Just waiting, clenching around nothing and desperate for his own self ridicule to resume.

"Hurry up." He hisses softly, his tone lacking any sort of bite for once. Maybe it sounds small more than anything. He just wants Ai to get off, to kick him out, to make Rin feel full and alive even if it doesn't get him off too.

[taeru]

What is green to one is blue to another. And what to Rin is a empty throwaway is to Ai his last chance.

Rin prostrate before him, Ai doesn't hesitate to pour generous slick over his cock, warming it over his skin with a hiss. Stroking himself close to Rin's body, his knuckles grazing the mound of Rin's ass, splayed and presented before him. It's the first time since their encounter started that Ai's confidence finally wavers; he had nothing to back this up. Uncharted territory. Only fleeting mental images supplied by unmentionables and a very active imagination, and a will that is currently shaky at best. But he has to, and not only that, he wants to.

His hand smooths over one of Rin's ass cheeks, feeling the taut yet plush skin under his palm; spreads him apart, exposes his taut entrance. Ai rocks his hips forward against him there, spreading the lubricant further over Rin's hole. So much he could say; none that actually reaches his lips. Carefully, Ai aligns himself and pushes in.

It's slow goings; an inch, and then a shallow thrust. Another inch. Half-seated and he's finally leaning over Rin, hissing through grit teeth. It's an unspeakable, tight warmth, mouth agape and rounded on a moan that remains lodged in the back of his throat. His hands migrate to Rin's body as he bottoms out; one smoothing down Rin's spine, to his lower back. The other snakes around Rin's front, pulling him up; forcing Rin's middle back to Ai's chest.

He breathes hot against the back of Rin's nape, eyebrows tangled in a furious knot. The hand across Rin's torso clings to him desperately; his palm and fingernails dig for purchase, first on Rin's shoulder, then down over his chest.

Cheek pressed against Rin's shoulder blades, Ai finds his pace; slowly, at first. Fucking into Rin with full-bodied, measured, rolling movements meant to acclimate them both. "Rin-senpai," comes a hot and desperate exhale against a knob of Rin's spine. Rin gathered against him as if Ai were willing their bodies to commit nuclear fusion as he finally snaps his hips forward. And again. And again, and again--

[buttterfly]

It's better this way. He doesn't have to look, simply put.

It's easy to gaslight yourself into another plane of existence when someone has you bent over, draped over you. It's easy enough to focalize only on that raw, carnal pleasure being built up between two bodies. Something you can only get with somebody else. He can almost trick his body into thinking it's someone else. Except he doesn't. Not really, at least.

It's easy enough to think about past experiences, draw comparisons. It's hard when the person touching you is so meticulous and indulgent in what he thinks your body wants and needs. Rin whines as Ai begins to sink into him, his hands roving Rin's body like he was searching for something to hold, something to ground them both.

Rin stubbornly refuses to fall into that trap, pushing his body back. The prep wasn't near enough with the pace they're setting. And Rin doesn't even care. It's a slew of unbridled noises spilling from his lips, intensified by the way Ai says his name like that. Like it actually means something.

That hot sting pools in the corners of his eyes. Pain and pleasure misfiring from all direction, his body contorting in a whirlwind. He doesn't know whether to sob, or scream, or moan. All he can do is push back to meet each of Ai's thrusts, that steady slap of skin echoing throughout the room.

His fingers practically tear through his borrowed sheets, the ones he's always considerately kept so clean and pristine before now. Just sullied by each drag of his beading cock against the fabric. His knees ache, his knuckles creak. Rin just wants to bite into his pillow to muffle whatever stupid noises are being punched out of him.

Instead all he can muster is some choked off whine.

[taeru]

Ai is familiar enough with the burn of going too fast, recognizes it in the way Rin's body hugs his cock like a vice, paired with the noises spilling from Rin's lips. As if he's trying to match a million emotions at once. He'd go slower, apologize - are you hurt? I'm so sorry! - except he knows that if he's historically been able to push past it, to indulge in it, he knows for a fact tenacious, determined, currently emotionally compromised Rin could, too.

It brushes against his instinct for only a moment, but he doesn't lose his pace; thinks to what feels good, what his body intuits. Rin's heat is addictive and the way he moans even moreso, causing lilted sighs and harder, longer groans to waft themselves over the back of Rin's neck and spine.

"Ah, god," he exhales thick again, arm flexing to keep Rin close against him; his other hand snakes away from Rin's lower back, curls under his front. Down his stomach and to Rin's cock, where Ai ruts his eyes closed and does his best to stroke Rin off at the same fast, unapologetic tempo as his hips. "Rin-senpai," he moans again, mind mostly blank other than the name of the man underneath him. He laps at Rin's shoulder; grazes his teeth against him, "Feels-- good. You feel good." Presses his cheek again as he thrusts harder, longer. Shockwaves of heat overwhelm his body, but Ai's priority is nowhere near getting himself off -it's all Rin. What's left behind when it's had its way.