for @buttterfly - post-tfln

[taeru]

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[taeru]

He has too many thoughts still swirling in his mind, none relevant to the competition, and every time Ai has to restart his mental count, he kicks himself internally. It was all he could do to try and re-find his focus. He didn't have Haruka's magic, able to pull people out of slumps and into a perfect consciousness just by existing. He didn't have Sousuke's perfect resolve, able to push through injury and heartache to make miracles happen. He didn't have Rin's drive, determined to see anything and everything through to the end, come hell or high water.

He just had himself, and his own psyche. It was far too late to be morose over bygones.

Nitori Aiichirou knows one thing as a given truth: the universe will test him. If it's interpersonal, he will be benched. Academic, an uphill battle. At the starting block? He'd be surprised if he's able to carve a career that lasts longer than five years with how much he's had to exert himself. But knowing this about himself - how all except his own drive seems to conspire against him - there is something of a silver lining. Once he's in the water, none of it will matter. It'll be him against his own resolve at that point. Just two hours to go--

"!!"

"Sorr-"

The voice makes him choke on his words, blinking owlishly and furiously at a frozen Nanase Haruka in front of him. Ai swallows thick. Just when he'd been about to rally...

"Sorry," he repeats, voice forcing itself to be calm and mannered, "I had my head down." Starts, stops. His bodyweight shifts as if he was about to approach Haruka, but it is as if his feet cannot dislodge themselves from the floor.

He hates the way a coldness drips down his spine, dripping into his gut, the contact point making it twist itself into tight, grotesque knots. He isn't scared of Nanase Haruka, only of what Nanase Haruka must be thinking right now. Ai wasn't stupid, and had caught at least two of his sidelong glances. Wants to plead his case that whatever he might be thinking right now, Ai promises him there's little to worry about. If Rin had it his way, he wouldn't even be at my place right now.

His expression crosses into a sudden resolve and determination, and then smooths over into something a bit tinged with trepidation, but still earnest.

"Um," he starts, as if he has to find his tongue at first, "Watching your race, it really lit something up inside of me. You're incredible, Nanase-san." He measures his words again, as if calculating pros and cons in real time, before tacking on, "I look forward to watching you and Rin-senpai chase gold in Athens."

[saaba]

Haru's eyes linger on Nitori for a moment too long. Nitori's words almost get lost in the noise, blue eyes caught on places he shouldn't be looking.

Those dusky imprints.

Haru blinks, focusing on actually listening to Nitori's words. They're kind, albeit a bit panicked in their delivery. It's nothing new to him. He's always held that tone in the few times they've spoken, it sounds reminiscent of how he addressed Rin a long, long time ago. Impressionable to a fault, and constantly putting himself where he feels as though he can't reach others.

Haru catches on more than he lets on. "...thanks." he says, a little quiet. It's not like he isn't grateful for the praise, or pissed that something may or may not have transpired between the two. It's none of his business after all. Right?

He pulls his gaze away, staring at the wall for a moment. Something swells in his throat, and Haru can't quite swallow it down. But he figures he shouldn't be rude either, and returns the well wished.

"You too." A silent indication he fully expects Nitori to climb towards that global stage with them. He remembers back in High School, Rin prattling on about how much Nitori was improving. And Haru had witnessed it firsthand time and time again. Joint practices, relays, regionals...

It's quiet for a bit. Haru looks at the floor, unable to meet eyes that are so like his own. But, he figures it's as quiet as it's ever going to be. And equally, they're as alone as they're ever going to be. Haru tilts his head.

"...Is Rin okay?" Haru shifts his weight a little. "Yamazaki texted me one night that he disappeared."

[taeru]

He was always the last person to believe in himself. That even Haruka could cut through that, words so exacting in what he's trying to convey-- Ai is very very determined not to cry, whether from stress or from gratitude. Can't afford it. His respiratory needs to be in peak condition before his heat, and something tells him at least two people wouldn't forgive him if he threw away his chance over something so sentimental.

He nods. Pulls his lips for a moment, the only indication of a well behind his eyes, and then it's gone. And-- the words don't come. If it was Rin, if it was Sousuke, even if it had been Tachibana, Ai could find ways to smooth over an open space that didn't feel as if it should be open. That was his superpower, drawing people out of themselves. But Haruka isn't that - Ai doesn't get the sense that he's lost somewhere far away.

No. He's watching. And thinking. It does leave Ai feeling scrutinized, but a part of him knows, in a way, it isn't about him at all. For the umpteenth time, his consideration was only incidental. So he waits, until Haruka finally asks something, and a flit of-- something overtakes Ai's expression.

Something equal parts relieved and yet so painfully resigned.

"He is now."

Ai grabs at his own wrist, thumbing his pulse line, digging his fingernails between tendons. There is so much more Haruka deserves to know, and Ai wants to tell it all, but it isn't his place; it has to come from Rin. It's all Ai can do to remain as neutral as possible and convey to Haruka what he can without overstepping.

"He's been staying with me for a little bit," he clarifies somewhat needlessly. A smile manages to tug at just one corner of his lips, a testament to his resolve, "I think he'd feel too guilty to say it to you himself, but Nanase-san, you're welcome over any time."

[saaba]

He is now.

He blinks. It catches in his chest. So Rin wasn't fine. Disappearing into a storm. Haru doesn't know where he went, but it's easy enough to discern that something happened. And Nitori confirms that Rin was never staying with Yamazaki. Haru's eyes linger on Nitori's neck again, before he lets his gaze trickle elsewhere. It's kind of Nitori to offer, but it feels something more akin to an obligation or guilt. Is it? Haru doesn't know. He doesn't know Nitori like Rin does.

"Sure. Thanks."

He returns that little olive branch with some gratitude at the kind offer. It's not rejection, just misplaced certainty of how to proceed. Haru's never been good with people. He's never been in a situation like this.

"...that's just kind of how he is." Haru says, making a small gesture with his hand. Rin, that is. Not wanting to bother Haru with his location after how things ended. But Rin wanted that, right? So why does he care? It stings a little that he had to hear about it from Yamazaki, but. It is what it is.

"Thanks. For taking care of him."

It's obvious Nitori cares deeply about his friend. Haru doesn't want to dwell on the depths of that, or the intensity behind it. It just makes that pit linger and fester in his chest. His eyes trail towards Nitori's hand at his wrist. That self soothing ministration, feeling something instead of whatever is at hand.

[taeru]

He feels it again, Haruka's wandering eyes. Ai can't think of a way to ease his apparent concern without making a colossal fool of himself. It isn't as if he owed Haruka an explanation, besides. And worse still, if he said anything, he may put Rin's best interests in jeopardy.

Or.

Would I? Something sudden, and resolute, and resounding settles in his chest.

Ai shakes his head as if dismissing Haruka's gratitude as an obvious and foregone conclusion, "Of course. You would have too." You would have be the one if you meant less.

He takes a breath, catching Haruka's eye with his own, level-set and resolved even if woefully, almost pitifully vulnerable.

"This isn't," he begins. Then stops. Takes in a breath, then taps his clavicle, "This isn't indicative of anything important, I promise you." It wasn't important enough to him. Ai swallows his resolve back into his chest, "And-- forgive my imposing-- but Nanase-san, if you reached out to him, you wouldn't regret it." He knows that look. That confused, uncertain gaze. Yearning to some. Regret to others. Ai, unfortunately, has had first-hand experience with both.

Ahh. What is this? Exactly how much do I hate myself? I want to go home.

He clears his throat, resolve completely depleted; his eyes meet the laminate floor.

"Sorry, that was very forward." He bows, stiff and overly polite. "I should probably head back. Sousuke-senpai's heat is soon."

[saaba]

Ah. So that was it.

Haru's not angry, not in the slightest. There's still that little gnaw deep seated in him, but there's nothing bubbling in his veins or shouts festering in his throat. His eyes widen a hair, Nitori spelling it out clear as day. His hand twitches at his side, but he lets it stay. It would be easy to leave right away. But Nitori didn't do anything to deserve that.

"You shouldn't apologize for being honest." He says carefully, his voice soft. He doesn't bring up Rin's name. But maybe there's some indication in the back of his words that is somewhat implied. They both know what he's talking about. Haru takes a short breath and adds.

"Caring about people isn't something to be sorry about."

He meets Nitori's gaze. He's not good with words. Famously bad at them, in fact. But maybe after all of this is over he'll reach out to Rin again. They'll all be in tight quarters for the forseeable future. But he'll get there when it comes. Haru turns, but pauses while he pulls his phone out. A group text from Rin. It's a picture of him and Ikuya sitting with Rin's Mom and Gou. They all are posing for the camera, and Rin details the seats and wing. Haru puts his phone back in his pocket.

"Mmm. I should go find Makoto. I'll see you?" He offers lightly, making a small gesture at Nitori before he goes back to the stands. Yamazaki and him have had their differences, sure. But Makoto is eager to watch what his pupil can do, all the hard work they've put in. Haru wouldn't miss it.

[taeru]

Ai isn't sure what to make of Haruka's platitudes, unsure how much of what he says is born out of an obligation not to appear rude (though Haruka doesn't strike Ai as the type to care too much about that) versus being slightly enigmatic on account of being specific. The latter is more likely, and arguably worse.

He doesn't have the time or the mental capacity to deal with how vast and deep the current in his chest is, threatening to pull him down wholesale. If he fails now because he chose to be the bigger person, he may just beg Mihkail to let him move back with him to Australia.

He's watching Haruka's back as he steps away when a sudden vibration in his jacket pocket nearly jolts him straight out of his skin. He looks at the message at the exact same time Haruka does, and feebly meets his gaze when he hears his voice. Stupidly Ai nods.

"I'll see you, Nanase-san."

And truth told, the last thing Ai feels he needs right now is to be in Rin's proximity. It isn't Rin's fault; Ai's nerves are just frayed. They had already been tenuous, and Haruka seeing through him like glass had undone all of the steel he thought he'd forged onto his nerves. But he weighs his options: stew by himself and gamble losing it all because he's had a slip of focus? Or endure the same thing he's been putting up with for a week-plus, and at least cheer for Sousuke in the company of people who understand his worth?

Ai presses the heel of his palm to his eye as he turns and begins jogging briskly toward the indicated wing and seat. Takes a few breaths when he sees not one but three tell-tale redheads and his senior. Despite everything, a gentle smile overcomes him, and Ai slips into the bleachers to be on the far left of the line of folks. Looks to Rin appreciatively, if a bit apprehensively, before looking down to the warm-up pool where he can see Sousuke starting to climb out.

"Soon," he says, abating himself.

[buttterfly]

He waves down Ai the second he sees him, almost knocking Ikuya's head in the process.

It was nice to catch up with his Mom and Gou for a few moments. Thankfully, them and Ikuya are deep in conversation over something in the program. Sounds like something about the individual medley, but Rin tunes it out when Gou starts gaggling about how she'll be able to see every muscle flex for every stroke all at once. Ugh.

"Clear your head okay?" Rin asks, pulling his bag off of the seat he had deemed Ai's. He's still riding the high of his win. Olympics here we come, baby. is recited over and over and over in his head. He looks out over the pool, before looking back at Ai.

"Yeah. Let's see what all that hard work was for." He tilts his head. Ai seems all smiles and sunshine. But Rin knows sometimes that's... code for something else. He shifts in his seat a little, cocking his head to the side. He sees people begin to line up for check in out of the corner of his eye. Sousuke among them.

"Everything okay?"

[taeru]

There's a levity and sincerity that comes with family, and it might not be his, but even just hearing the other two Matsuokas - and a Kirishima - talk and sow discourse about ah, but he set the prefectural record two years ago! and but that was in a different category wasn't it? and even if he's slower here, I'm sure his obliques are divine! is enough to help pull Ai out of his own head. And heavens did he need it.

He doesn't answer Rin's question, because Ai isn't capable of lying, but he can still see the exuberant joy and pride in Rin's eyes, and Ai will be the last person on earth to snuff that out, purposefully or accidentally or otherwise. If Rin knew about the exchange that just happened in the back halls, he may very well take Ai by his ankles and throw him over the bannister, anyway.

"I hear Tachibana-san developed a new regimen for him, and Sousuke-senpai seemed very relaxed this morning. I know he'll be breaking some kind of record in a little bit." Watches as Sousuke falls into queue with the rest.

And feels hot crimson booring into him.

Ai tries to ignore it, but can't. But it's really a balancing act, and god is the shine in Rin's eyes so painfully bright, and.

For once, Ai neither answers directly nor tries to weasel his way out of Rin's often oppressive concern. Instead, he swivels his knee, gently knocking it into Rin's, and gestures some with his chin.

"It's not important." His rare code for let's drop it for now, please. Searches Rin's eyes again for something else entirely, as if it could be infectious. And almost immediately, like a flipped switch - or something else has once again been spackled, and sanded, and painted in record time - Ai is looking upon him with a smile that threatens to overtake his entire face from ear-to-ear.

"Senpai," Ai begins, almost in a giddy exhale, "You're going to the Olympics!" There's vague and muffled noise coming out of the natatorium speakers, and the backstroke 100m swimmers begin filing in toward the starting blocks, goggles pressed and jackets shucked. Ai looks down toward the pool, "And this might be one more there with you."

[buttterfly]

He drops it.

He knows when to push, and when not to. This is one of those times. The knee bumping into his, the way Ai firmly states it's not important. Rin doesn't know what could have possibly transpired in the last thirty minutes. But he shifts a gaze back at Ikuya, and his family and decides it's not worth Ai's discomfort to press. Especially around what are essentially strangers to him.

He bumps his knee back into Ai's. That silent string of communication that yup, got it. Won't press it. But don't think I've forgotten either. He sees Sousuke lining up, and his heart jumps in his throat when he sees Seijuro too. All the hard work all of them have poured into this. It doesn't matter who takes center stage anymore.

Rin gazes around the natatorium, all the cheers and shouts. All families, friends and spectators of those who have worked hard. Something swells in him when Ai states the obvious. He's going to the olympics. His face burns, and he has to choke down a stupid sniffle as that familiar take your marks rings out, and silence immediately follows. Rin whispers, before it all starts back up.

"Fuck it, we all are going."

[taeru]

Ai is grateful that Rin's intuition is whip-smart, and doesn't press it. This really was something that could wait until later. Forever, ideally. Ai knows Rin won't forget about it though, so it's all he can do to put a pin in it for now while tensions were high and stakes even higher.

Ai, too, very nearly jumps out of his seat at seeing Seijuro join the line up, the deep void in his chest filled with calmer waters. Of all the memories and camaraderie and trust built with those two.

He hears Rin sniff more than he hears the call to the starting block, looking at Rin with a smile that could be a first cousin to an eye roll. But that smarm drops from his face the moment Rin insists--

We all are going.

"Let the results speak for themselves." Ai wishes so badly he had the confidence Rin seems to have in him, especially in his current mental state.

The starting pistol is immediately followed by the sound of the competitors pushing off from the wall, and this time Ai does jump up onto his feet, palms wrapped tightly on the bannister, heart throbbing high in his chest.

"Strong...!" he observes, awestruck as Seijuro and Sousuke both take incredibly large leads from the push off.

[buttterfly]

Rin is on his feet right alongside him, voice carrying out across the stands, right to the water itself. Maybe he cheers a little louder for Sousuke. Still not quite fully forgiving the saddled responsibilities he was given his last year but... maybe they just helped make him who he is now. It was stupid, making someone like Rin captain after the stunt he pulled with Iwatobi at the relay.

"Come on Sousuke!!" Rin yells, his sister yelling alongside him. Seeing someone who had been a staple in their household for what felt like centuries, finally able to cheer him onto a global stage. Yeah, Rin thinks to himself. Let the results speak for themselves.

The turn is coming up, and the two propel themselves off easily. But the pack begins to catch up. That's okay, Rin thinks to himself as he bites his lip. Sousuke is all about the second half, or well... he used to be. Rin doesn't know a thing about what he and Makoto were working on. But the movements of his arm seem to be propelling him artfully forward, the long movements of his legs intensifying it further.

Rin blinks, and it's over.

The crowd erupts, and Rin swears Gou is crying beside his mom. Rin's eyes dart up to the board, and he's choking on a scream that is curdled up with a cry.

Yamazaki - 53.56 3

That's it. That's under the qualifying time needed. Rin half heartedly punches Ai's arm, choking back the waterworks. Excitement is thrumming through him. Another down. Rin's dream team is slowly coming back into fruition.

"Ai!! Ai!! He did it!!"

[taeru]

"Sousuke-senpai!!!!"

It is shrill and loud and guttural and his voice cracks.

Rin punches his arm and Ai just-- grips it, full bodied, hugging Rin's elbow to his stomach and chest for a moment before releasing him only to cup his mouth and give Sousuke's name another loud, visceral cheer. Feeling this pride once today was already overwhelming, but twice? Rin isn't the only one with glassy eyes.

Says nothing, doesn't even bother indicating for Rin to follow because he knows he will; Ai bolts out from the benches at the same breakneck speed he had just an hour ago, rounding under the bleachers and through the warm-up area and very nearly slamming himself into the mouth of the entryway in order to be the first person to--

"Welcome to the Olympics!! Sousuke-senpai!!"

Sousuke had looked at the board, saw his truth, clasped hands with his lanemate, then crawled out of the water with a massive hoist of himself up onto his feet. The scene is similar to Rin - he, along with the other two qualifying members, are immediately flanked by coaches and press and reporters.

[buttterfly]

He's hot on Ai's heels the moment he bolts. He barely hears his mom and Ikuya laugh as they tear out of the stands.

Rin doesn't even care. Reporters, sponsors, everyone be damned. He pushes past the crowd, slamming into Sousuke's back with his arms around his neck. He's weeping profusely, maybe more than his won qualifying run. But he just buries the words into Sousuke's sopping wet back, all while he hears Seijuro laugh somewhere close by.

"You did it. Fuck your shoulder, you fucking did it."

Sousuke looks like he's damn near tears as well, but Rin peels himself off of him, trying to give him some room as they get some raised brows from reporters and maybe a few too many camera flashes. Whatever. Fuck the press.

Rin wipes his face with the back of his hand, seeing Makoto coming down with fucking stars in his eyes as well. Must be a good feeling. Seeing all your hard work come together, even if you're not the one in the water. Sousuke looks back at Makoto with the biggest smile Rin thinks he's ever seen before. And it damn near makes him choke up again.

He's going to have a migraine before the day is over. He tries to regain some composure, turning back towards Ai with a stupid grin on his face.

[taeru]

He only pads out when Rin does, not wanting to swarm, much like he had during the freestyle heat. Watches as Rin all but clambers onto Sousuke's back, and flinches with a laugh as he hears several cameras shutter. Exactly how many photos were the three of them accidentally going to be in together from today?

He shares a wide, extremely proud grin with Makoto, the two exchanging a few short words. They both had kept in close-ish contact, given both of their propensities to be in or near Sousuke's wake, and Ai knew exactly how hard Makoto had worked to keep Sousuke's condition as peak as possible.

Ai pads around Rin in order to match Sousuke's teal eyes, hands balled excitedly in front of him.

"Sousuke-senpai, that was incredible!" Ai appraises, voice a little choked up but edging far more toward raw, sheer awe and pride. "You were amazing! Out of this world!"

"Is he crying?"
"Yes, but I think this time he's allowed."

Sousuke laughs, something of a wet noise. The way he looks from Ai to Rin is just so-- fucking proud. And happy.

[buttterfly]

Rin watches... something flit over Sousuke's features. It's something that just wells up that ball in his throat again. Will he ever be able to swallow normal again after today? Christ. Makoto is beaming, Rin hasn't seen him look like that in ages.

Something in Rin sinks.

Then again, I never bother to reach out anyways. He tries to shove the thought aside, ride the high of this moment, be so fucking happy for Sousuke. His rotator cuff is a thing of the past. It's olympian Yamazaki now. And Rin won't let him forget it.

"You guys are the worst." Rin laughs. There's something buzzing in the back of his mind. How close they'll all be again. It will be like being back at Samezuka again. Maybe less Rin barking orders though, and more times like the relay.

Another little buzz of excitement, as Rin wonders what the relay roster will look like. It's not just about good times, it's about teamwork. He looks at all the people he's swam the same lane with surrounding him. Maybe they can get there too. He tries to compose himself again, with little success but.

"Three down." Rin shoots a smile at Ai, shoulder checking him as Sousuke and Makoto are approached by a few people. He begins to step back, deciding maybe Sousuke doesn't want the embarrassment of Rin hanging off of him for any more photos. "When's your heat? God I fucking forgot in all this."

[taeru]

Ai can't even begin to think about the potential relay team yet. Can't even think about the potential Olympics team yet. He's one event away from taking to the starting block, and simply wants to focus on getting a time he can actually say he's proud of. Let alone accolades - let alone a global stage.

Last year, it was seventh. He had a shit ton of time to make up for, and it's his only hope that all his work will come to pay off.

For a moment Rin's features seemed to have darken, but like nothing they bounce back again. Well... A lot of complicated emotions today, Ai should know. So he doesn't press it, but does something extremely hypocritical and jots it down in his memory for later.

He makes something of a grunt-like noise when Rin shoulder checks him, staring at Rin as he subtly absconds away from the current swarm. Ai does the same, expression softening into a simper.

"It's just like you to keep marks on everyone." No doubt Rin is thinking about a potential relay team. The thought, there again for the second time in about two minutes, causes a heat to swirl and explode in his chest, embers falling down into his gut. Not made any better by Rin's following question; Ai takes in a slow and steeling breath to try and keep his nerves cooled off.

He looks up at the global clock, "Men's 200m back has to go first, and then Kirishima-senpai and I are next." He knew Nagisa was flitting around too. Competition would be stiff; Ai definitely had his work cut out for him. Rather than linger in a pile of his own anxiety, Ai begins heading back toward the mouth of the poolside exit, "I wonder if Uncle Mikhail has any last minute words of wisdom." Likely not. Ai was just kidding around as a rather pitiful attempt at playing off his nerves.

[buttterfly]

Rin makes a face.

"If advice is what you're looking for, I don't think your uncle is the best bet." Mikhail is a fine coach. Rin went to him for a reason. But, pep talks aren't always his strong suit. He has some good words of wisdom, sure. But in a pinch, well...

Rin follows after him easily, hands stuffed in his pockets. He sees Haru and Kisumi catching up to Makoto as they exit. He can't imagine Haru having any truly praising words for Sousuke's win. Maybe some attitude, but. He sidles in beside Ai, following whatever path he's taking. They end up outside the poolside exit, running into Ikuya who is obviously pumping himself up as well.

They'll be due poolside soon, so probably best Rin stick by them until they neander off to check in. He's practically vibrating in his skin. Rin looks over, and Ikuya looks. Nervous. Ikuya's a beast. He's entered in free, breaststroke, and the medley. There's no way he won't qualify in breast or the individual medley. Rin tries leaning into his old coaching routine and--

"Oi, Kirishima." Ikuya looks over at Rin with a raised brow. Rin smirks, and leans in. "Don't get too distracted thinking about swimming with me and Haru. You can show off properly at the world level." Ikuya's jaw fucking drops and Rin loses his mind laughing, pulling away as Ikuya tries to shove at his face with his palm.

Rin is laughing as Ikuya huffs and puffs, and then he turns to look at Ai with a similarly wicked look. Gotta pump up everyone somehow. His hands are still in his pockets, as he bends over and hums.

"If you really wanna distract him, just look like you did when you pulled my mouth on you. Dude's a whimp for that." Rin thinks he's fine joking about this now. It feels easier, lighter. Because it wasn't bad. And damn, if Sousuke can do it, so can he.

[taeru]

Ai's expression flatlines, "I don't either."

He loved his uncle. His uncle was fucking weird. And hard to keep up with. And didn't even choose his own nephew to coach! Part of that was Ai's reticence not to rely on someone so vastly out of his league, wanting to be worthy in his uncle's eye in the first place, but still.

There's a measure of relief in seeing Ikuya as worked up as he is; Ai isn't surprised. Though he and his Shimogami senior really only ever talked swim shop, Ai often got the sense he felt very deeply, and observed astutely, and cared endlessly. In many ways, he reminded Ai of Haruka. And Ai knows there's history there, but has never been confident or present enough to ask someone relevant about it.

Rin goads Ikuya, and now Ikuya is groaning, and Rin is laughing in that self-satisfied way of his, and Ai dons a placating expression, hands pressed up and flat in a show and attempt of appeasement.

"Kirishima-senpai, I look forward to competing with you. Both at our best. Please don't let him run his mouth..."

But oh, does it run. Ai feels a shadow loom over him, and from his periphery all he sees is red. Blinks and looks upward as Rin says-- that. Ai's eyes blow wide enough to nearly fall out of his sockets, and his face red enough to rival Rin's in colour.

He grapples Rin's jacket, shakes him once. Grapples his standing collar, slaps (gently) his shoulder. Cups both of Rin's cheeks and just-- jostles him, as if trying to dislodge whatever untoward imagery Rin's cooking in his head right now. Ai was not expecting that, and truthfully didn't know how to handle it.

"You can't just," stop. Shakes him again, "You can't just--!" His hands are now, instead, folded on Rin's mouth.

"You can't say something like that so leisurely!" All the traitorous thoughts flitting through Ai's brain. Now really wasn't the time!!! He leans forward, if only so Rin got as close to seeing the beg and scorn in Ai's furious and flushed expression, "If I lose, I'm blaming you now!"

[buttterfly]

Ikuya doesn't even look back at the questionable exchange. Because he's pissed at Rin equally, and probably would have done something similar--has before--so he just scoffs and continues on his way.

"Save it for the village, yeah? Maybe you and Sou can finally figure out that positioning."

It's a joke, it's totally a joke. One Sousuka would probably throw himself off the building if he overheard. But there is an edge of seriousness to it as Ai basically manhandles him and Rin tries not to choke on his own spit.

It's getting close to the heat, and Rin should head up to sit with his family since his Mom is still on him about not telling her he had been back for so long. Ugh. That and another lecture about the marks on his neck. Maybe not lecture but... Rin laughs and pulls away, smirking at Ai as he walks backwards back towards the stands.

It's some wonder the idiot doesn't fall over in the crowd and process, but somehow he manages. Ikuya is waiting near the locker room entrance for Ai, clearly, completely oblivious to whatever raunchy nonsense is falling out of Rin's mouth now from so far away.

"Show everyone what you're made of!"

[taeru]

Ai never considered murder before.

Until today.

"Senpai," he warns through grit teeth. Hands in his own pockets but then immediately in his hair as if he could rattle his own skull hard enough to dislodge it of so, so many things. "I am never again,"

Pause.

And stares.

And is not finishing that sentence.

He bites his bottom lip so hard he nearly draws blood, as it is the only way to distract from the furious, borderline grotesque heat currently kissing his cheeks. He has no choice but to make it to the Olympics now; Ai needed a global audience to witness his sanctified crucifixion of one Matsuoka Rin. All that's gone on today, and this is what's on Rin's mind?! Maybe Ai should have told him about Haruka after all. If anyone can bail me out of this, it's Nanase-san...!

He has never been so happy to see calm, normal, not weird, uncharged company in his life. Losing to Ikuya would be a blessing at this point. Ai slaps his cheeks twice, hard, before looking to Ikuya with a smile that is just too kind, and too polite, and too calm to be anything but.

"Please ignore Rin-senpai." For the love of god. Please ignore him. "Let's go check in."

There is commotion as the 200m backstroke clears out, Ai and Ikuya both padding over to the check-in line. Ai uses the time to tuck his hair into his swim cap, put his goggles on. Their time would come soon, and for myriad reasons, his heart was deeply lodged in his throat.

[buttterfly]

Rin smirks. That's exactly what he was trying to do. Ai might be flustered, but his heart is pumping. Mikhail has a similar coaching method. Maybe Ai wouldn't be such a bad pupil for his uncle after all--

He hurries back up to the stands, waving at his Mom and Gou. He plops down next to them, scanning the queue as it begins to form. He wonders if Sousuke will come back up, but he sees him and Makoto looming near one of the poolside entrances. Perfect vantage point, and no need to rush up. Rin starts whooping when Ikuya and Ai have barely lined up. Gou chimes in, as she looks over her pamphlet.

"It's so nice to see you branching out from your childhood obsession and making new friends." Rin whips around to glare at her, and their Mom just laughs beside them. She presses the lines of their shoulders together, reaching up to press her fingers in her son's hair.

"Be nice. Just be happy anyone wants to, what with the promise of going deaf one day." Rin balks, and practically whines at his mom, pressing his face into her shoulder. He missed this, fuck. He hates how awol he went, from everybody. It was a pitfall coming back from Australia, having to face the music of things he ran away from. But he missed so much. And Ai helped him see that.

"Not that loud..." Rin mutters against her. He pulls his face away from her shoulder, watching Ikuya and Ai make their way to the starting blocks. Ikuya sheds away his jacket with a thinly veiled confidence, obviously still riding his personal best earlier. Rin hopes he makes another one. And another.

His eyes drift back to Ai, and he can hear Sousuke and Makoto shouting from poolside. He scans around, and his heart jumps in his throat as he sees Nagisa bouncing to his lane. They're all here. Fuck, they've got to do it somehow. One of them? All of them? Rin adds in another cheer for Nagisa, his Mom pulling away and plugging her ears with a laugh.

[taeru]

Ikuya and Ai's lanes are surprisingly close, though Ai can hear Nagisa a few lanes down. He suspects if not for the distance, the Iwatobi native might've goaded him something fierce, propensity for propriety at a professional event notwithstanding.

Something in his subconscious recognizes the roar of voices, some calling his name, but Ai lets it all fall to the wayside like cacophony. A dull buzz. He looks at Ikuya for a final well-wish before he and the rest of their queue step up onto the starting blocks.

Swimmers, take your marks.

..

boom!

Ai cuts through the air, breaks the surface, and extends. His start used to be so shaky, but is now one of his strongest assets; knows if he can start strong, he can stockpile his energy on the turn, and dump it all into the final leg. The benefit of having a deep well of stamina. Push, extend, kick, surface; the overhead lights catch across his goggles on the turn, and Ai swears for a moment he exits the pool and begins swimming in air.

On the turn, he's nearly bottom of the pack, chasing seventh. But cuts ahead with his burst, eclipsing one after the other, focused only on counting his breaths as his hand reaches desperately for the wall--

He tosses his goggles off, feels his entire body vibrating as he looks back.

Hazuki 59.51 3
Kirishima 58.98 1
Nitori 59.48 2

And he stares. And stares. And stares. Feels as if he's gotten pool water in his eyes, why is the leaderboard blurry? Feels something tap his shoulder; Ai sees Ikuya holding out a hand, and wearing an uncharacteristically wide smile. Ai takes it with a strong shake, expression completely blown and miles away before pulling himself up and out of the pool, legs akin to gel.

Something muttered under a watery voice. It's only when he's firmly gotten his feet planted on the tile behind the starting blocks that he nearly doubles over, fists pulled to his stomach, voice uncharacteristically booming--

"Yes!!!!!"

[buttterfly]

It's invigorating.

There's a certain beauty in watching something blossom. Something you remember being curled, fragile, hesitant to bloom. Circumstances and fear of what's to come, what's already come to pass, threatening the petals. Rin is pressed up against the railing, fingers tight around cold steel, unable to take his eyes away.

Ai nails the turn. There's no floundering, even trailing behind. Rin knows exactly what comes next. That stamina comes into play. He begins to overtake everyone; even Nagisa has a hard time, and the second half is where he shines. Ikuya is carrying his lead, but Ai is closing that gap. And fast.

Rin screams for all of them, but his voice carries the loudest for Ai. Gou and his Mom are cheering right alongside him, carrying above the crowd as they near the wall. Rin's heart slams in his chest. Ikuya and Ai are in the lead, NAgisa just behind them. It's anyone's win now--

Ikuya slaps the wall. Ai right behind him. And before Rin even sees the score, he's booking it downstairs. He knows, he's grinning so hard it fucking hurts. They made it, they all fucking made it. He's choking back a sob, stopping right next to Sousuke. He pants hard, hands on his knees. Sousuke is cheering Ai's name for them both, while Rin catches his breath. There's tears streaming down Sousuke's face too.

Makoto shouts for all of them. Ikuya is sobbing, Nagisa as well. Fuck, are they all crying? Rin laughs breathlessly, and finally pulls himself up a bit. The waterworks are fresh again, and he can't help but choke out another laughing sob as he watches Ai sob over victory. All it takes is a little fire.

[taeru]

His head very much feels like it's still swirling. Is this what unfettered adrenaline feels like after all? Has he discovered for the first time what a sincere pride in oneself can do to the body? When he straightens his spine, the first person by his side isn't Sousuke, or Rin, or even Ikuya - Mikhail has sailed down from the back bleachers to clasp his nephew on the shoulders and slap his cheek and congratulate him. Ai shares a teary thank you. Wonders vaguely if his parents are watching the broadcast or not.

Finally with his wits about him, he goes to flag down Nagisa and offer a handshake. OCT time was nothing to turn their noses up at, and it was just as likely he'd be there alongside Ikuya and Ai and the others in Fukuoka and Athens and beyond. Instead, Nagisa takes Ai's hand and pulls him into a too tight, too energetic embrace; Ai begins to flounder, which earns a laugh from Sousuke.

It's for the better Ikuya is the more decorated swimmer at the moment, as text reporters seem to all descend on him, and Ai can make a clean break for the side door. Half way to freedom though Sousuke is beside him, sharing with Ai a look that reflects a journey they know they've both walked. Roadblocks and stopgaps and massive, massive walls.

"You could have kept the timing consistent instead of giving us all a heart attack after the turn," Sousuke playfully nags. Ai laughs, a watery sound and nearly paired with a sob, picking up his jacket before he forgets about it.

"I had to beat Hazuki-san at his game, otherwise I didn't stand a chance." Goes to show Ai had done his studying.

Finally they step out into the warm-up and locker room area. And he meets Rin's eyes, and Ai's mind wipes blank. This thing he's worked so hard for-- this dream of his that has developed into so much more than wanting to swim with someone one last time. A sense of self, a purpose, and a drive, all because Rin had been there. His eyes are quicker than his tongue, immediately breaking out into another fit of waterworks. Beside him Sousuke gives Rin a knowing, unusually kind smile.