[ Ai pulls away, met with the sight of a thinly stretched Rin. His eyes, barely open, keenly follow the movement over him. His cheeks burn crimson red. His hair falls in a heap on the sheets beneath him. Parted lips reveal a hint of sharp teeth. In the singular moment that he has to realize Ai is finally looking at him, he smirks, looking as much proud as he does overwhelmed.
Is it too much to move on his own? He whines against the fervent kiss, tongue dancing with Ai’s. Did Ai get it from before? Ai’s not the only one burning with want, but gods, he wanted Ai to have this moment in whatever way. It’s only Ai's hand, implicitly begging him to hold on, that tells Rin he’s fine. Thoughtlessly, he pulls at Ai's ass cheeks, stretching him intimately, before adjusting his legs to meet Ai where they are; the rhythm of his trusts moves in tandem with Ai.
He hates to admit it, but his body is already overworked from earlier. He’s sensitive from a long absence of touch; the season stole so much of his time, as it always did. Rin jerks out of the kiss, gasping for air, his hips falling briefly out of rhythm: ] hn, fuck me-- [ not a plead, but a curse. Too soon. His hand jerks up to grab Ai’s neck and hold him down, lips barely touching but still he needed air. Come paints his abs as his own rolling want begins to wane. Tears dot the corners of his eyes as they roll backward. ]
[He keens, Rin's strong hand tugging at his pliant skin, Ai's mind flitting with images of what could possibly fit in-between. A thought that goes straight to his cock, twitching where it's caught between their bodies. Emboldens him even with the strain and flex of his thigh muscles testing his endurance--
It's so sudden and unexpected, and Ai lets out a small gasp at the sudden feeling of Rin's stuttered movement, twitching arousal, and a wet warmth smearing itself on his lower belly between their bodies.
He will not insult Rin by looking down-- not that he could, anyway, what with the strength Rin's just peeled him off and away from his face, seemingly desperate to pull air into his lungs. If Ai were younger, less confident, less sure, he'd be mortified and insulted in equal measure. But like this? No expectations, just indulgence?
Rin's eyes might glass over, but Ai feels an overwhelming sense of pride at having brought him to the precipice with just this much. His movements have stilled, not wanting to push Rin into oversensitivity; despite Rin's unreadable reaction to his own sudden orgasm, Ai seems undeterred, kissing where he could. the side of Rin's jaw, his clavicle.
He shifts just a little lower on Rin's body, straddling his thighs more than his lap; Ai appreciatively smooths his hands over Rin's upper torso, down to his ribs, back up again. Seems not to be paying too much attention to his own painfully hard arousal, only on helping Rin come down. Ai can't help but chew his bottom lip, a little.]
I got to see it, [he murmurs, voice almost breathless,] the kind of face you make. [His voice grows quieter still, kissing above Rin's breast.] It's mine now.
[ In truth, Rin just didn’t want Ai to pull too far from him at his most vulnerable, a romantic at heart. The moment he feels Ai start to shift and kiss along his jaw, Rin acquiesces his hold. His hand runs through his own hair and falls to the floor. His mind is as glassy as his expression; transparent after so much pressure and heat ground into him. That was…. Different. Incredible. He’s not sure how much this adoration will make him “come down” but he lacks the energy to protest. And, if he had the energy, he’s not sure he’d protest anyway.
Ai speaks, and he laughs through his teeth, airy and disconnected. ] Such a dork, [ He’s embarrassed, but not ashamed. Yeah, it is his now. Rin’s hand comes lazily up to pet Ai’s soft head of hair as kisses are laid upon his chest. His eyes look up and above him, starting briefly out the window and Ai fawns over his fatigued body. A blink knocks the tears from his lashes, fine with what a wreck he is in bed. This really is the difference between a lover and, well, whatever Rin has been up to. Ai is impossibly sweet.
He... is so fucked, in the best way possible.
Rin groans as he lifts himself up, still breathless. Just a guess at a glance, but he’d think he’d be more of a mess if Ai had also climaxed. ] And? You? Shouldn’t a selfish lover be finished by now? [ He smirks and cocks his eyebrow. He hasn’t forgotten that claim. He'll sit up more if Ai gives him an inch. ]
[Ladling affection over Rin was easy. It was also a perfect stand-in for selfishly seeking out his own peak; given it wasn't exactly his priority, Ai was happy to let Rin bask in it, sudden as it is, and give Ai the chance to indulge in the smaller things. A hand rested above his heart, for instance. Or admiring the gentle sheen of Rin's pale skin where his tears finally fall, subtle and small as they are.
He'd thought Rin to be upset for a second there; Ai is glad that isn't the case. He's never been more relieved to be called a dork, even if it does earn Rin an eye roll.] Let me have this much, [he protests gently, as if this entire encounter hasn't just been one instance of Ai insisting let me have this after another. Rin was a fool to spoil him.
He sits back as Rin sits up, even doing him the favour of sliding off his legs and to the side; this does leave Ai's one leg cast over Rin's, but it's hardly impossible for Rin to move or shift like this at least. It's here, confronted over his bravado and his acute lack of completion that Ai's expression shifts just a little bashful. He allows himself to look down this time, to Rin's body; to the spoils across his lower abdomen. Heat blossoms in his chest, and Ai can't resist smoothing his hand over Rin's upper thigh.]
I got what I wanted, [he admits easily. Then his eyebrows are knitting, looking at Rin with a simper this time,] I'm a little slow is all. It isn't you, I promise. [Endurance. Stamina. Poor guy had it in spades. His razor in the water; his heel in bed.]
[ With a cool expression, he watches, listens, and then clicks his teeth. ] Seriously? [ he guffaws, echoing with some disbelief: ] “Got what you wanted”?
[ There’s a devilish smirk on his lips as he hisses a command, shifting himself as much as pulling Ai back into his lap. His legs are spread but crossed at the ankle as he fits Ai into the space in between. His hands guide Ai to hold onto his shoulders. He wraps his arm around Ai to support him in place and leans his face into Ai’s and grins. ] Tell me, with a straight face, that you haven’t thought how badly you’ve wanted more.
[ He didn’t know. He didn’t need to know. But he did need to stoke that fire, and he didn’t mind taking a shot in the dark if it could ignite a flame. His hand pinches along Ai’s leg, his thumb sunk deep into the muscle of his inner thigh as it massages up. He doesn’t take Ai immediately, waiting for whatever answer he wanted to give, but the tips of his fingers do brush against the length of his erection, reminding him that he can want as much as he needs. ]
[He was being sincere. He was! Because of all the times - and there were many - he's imagined Rin on top of him, or below him, or holding him or touching him or inside him or outside him, of all the times Ai's mind has filled with heady and lascivious images of Rin ladling all he had to give,
time and time again the only thing, the one thing Ai would bother to commit to phantom memory is Rin's face. Not the mental supposition of his touch; not even his voice, so readily available in Ai's mental recall. But what a sight it must be to see the proud and strong Matsuoka Rin come undone, and what it must feel like to know he's responsible for it.
He was being sincere, but then Rin's looking at him like that--]
I--!
[And the sudden heat with which Rin meets him floods straight to his weeping cock, though it does unfortunately make a pitstop on the way, Ai's engine cranking at maximum throttle in his chest. Ai chews into his bottom lip, and it isn't coy; it's a violent thing, trying so hard to maintain a composure, to not cross a line, but.
Frankly, fuck.]
Of course I have, [he admits far too easily, even if it's with a somewhat set jaw; his words are interrupted by his own soft gasp at the way Rin pinches his skin,] Because it's you.
[The way Rin undoes his composure is almost professional, honestly. And borderline miraculous; Nitori Aiichirou was not known for a weak resolve, after all. He shamelessly rolls his hips forward as if trying to chase the barely-there touch Rin had just glossed against him, one of his hands scrambling up into Rin's hair and the other digging blunt fingernails into the back of his shoulder.
He exhales one shuddered breath before daring to bring sky blue eyes up to meet crimson, resigned to his need.]
Go ahead and show me, then. Make a mess of me. Just remember it'll be yours to clean up after, this time.
[ Thrill rushes through his shoulders. Over years of conversations, implications were dusted; some he ignored until eventually he denied in spite of himself. Ai had become beautiful in his maturity, his tenacious heart unmistakable, and Rin became more cognizant as the storms of his heart cleared. Yet, his own foolhardiness and refusal always got the better of him. Ai didn’t need some punk like him, certainly not with so little time on his hands, with so many miles between them. What a terrible habit to have.
This admission, because it’s you, burns with climactic energy, and had he not been spent so shortly before, this moment could have changed certainly. He’s embarrassed with himself, his heart so easily weakened by the thought of being wanted too deeply, so terribly that it made Ai clench his teeth and hiss. All too well, he understood that pent of frustration. Different, yet, it shared a commonality; an all-consuming desire for one singular connection.
He has only a moment to consider words akin to an apology, not that now is the time. Ai thrusts with wanting and Rin catches his sex, languidly stoking the flames he’s rekindled in Ai. His to clean up? He chortles. He hasn’t even cleaned up himself. ]
Good, [ Rin whispers, his voice oddly sweet. If their faces hadn’t been so close, Ai might notice the unusually dreamy affection that blooms from his cheeks. He kisses Ai. His hand wraps around the head of Ai’s erection to rub and polish, each motion lengthening by millimeters until Rin his tugging every inch of Ai’s cock up and down. Briefly, his hand will brush low, teasing Ai’s balls only enough to test his tolerance.
It’s only now that Rin seems to finally cave to an earlier suggestion; as Ai grows more worked up, more desperate for breath, Rin finally draws out of the kisses to spoil the nape of Ai’s neck, picking his marks carefully as he sucks and bites into him, seeming less and less focused on courtesy lust boils in his chest. ]
[It is apparently something he's prone to, understating his own want for something. In the water, out of it. Knee-capping himself with thoughts of I'm so useless or, more applicably, I don't stand a chance. Yet time and time again, Ai's drive and sheer willpower seem to have a way of blowing straight past his want and forcing it to coalesce into need, such that Ai simply has no choice but to pursue it.
Thirty seconds ago, this only applied to his aspirations and dreams. How humbling it is for the fog to clear and for self-actualization to hit him so potently it upends his mentalscape entirely. Ah, so that's what this is.
A small noise escapes him when Rin kisses him again, and another as Rin works at his length with a dutiful intent; Ai's legs fall a bit more splayed as if to try and welcome in all Rin had to offer, also enabling him to better leverage himself so as to shamelessly buck up into Rin's hold on him, matching whatever tempo he's set.
What finally makes that heat begin to coil and threaten, though, is feeling Rin's lips against his nape; worse still when he bites, stealing from Ai a moan so overt it borders on salacious and uncharacteristic both. Stuck between ministrations, his cock twitches at attention, thigh muscles tensing as Ai tries to delay what is now inevitable.]
Rin-senpai, [comes the warning-- the plea?, Ai shifting his head further to the side to expose new mars to cool air, for a moment burrowing his face into Rin's shoulder... And then he remembers, for the second time. Conjures within himself the mental presence to bring his head center again, forehead pressed to Rin's; a hand steady on Rin's jaw and nape, keeping him there. Imploring him to look.]
[ He couldn’t ask for more than to hear and feel the quiver that shutters through Ai, from the twitch in his cock to the heated air in his throat. Ai’s whimpers reach his ears like sirens’ calls, and Rin simply cannot hold onto his own sense. He’s feverish, feeling as foggy with delight as the man in his arms. Selfishly, he wants any person who sees Ai to know this moment happened. Sharp teeth drag close to Ai’s throat as his body grows more inviting than ever. He could get addicted to this taste.
He hears his name, his mind exits the fog. What he remembered was Ai’s legs opening for him and now his knees tight against Rin’s body. There’s dry salt still over his temples from minutes before. Ai is practically begging for release. He hesitates to mar this moment with his own, stupid voice when Ai coming so thoroughly undone is the only song he ever wanted to hear. He hesitates a breath, hitching behind his unshy smile, ] Yeah? You’re gonna-- [ light and airy, his voice oozes glee as he echos the same breathlessness. He can't help but tease, even now.
His eyes fixate on Ai, his hand unrelenting as he pleasures him. His other, still supporting Ai’s back with all his strength, buckles against his skin as he grips onto him. As badly as he wants to layer kisses over that restless mouth, he can't help but find himself rather jealous of the sight Ai got to see tonight. ]
[It's a surprise to no one - not to Ai, and it shouldn't be to Rin - that the thing that pushes him surely over the edge is the sound of Rin's voice.
Even if it's a chide, a goad; Ai is weak to it, the audible reminder of who exactly has him in hand at the moment, who exactly he's lain with, who exactly he gets to unpack and figure out complicated answers with in the coming hours, days. There's a full-bodied shudder, a tug of his brow, and then lips agape as Rin brings him over, spending himself over his knuckles.
As he rides it out, his hands wrap strongly around Rin's shoulders, one in his hair; he feels so pried open and vulnerable, but is still making sure Rin is looking, as promised. It isn't until he has nothing left to give, soft pants sucked in through parted lips and clammy sweat on his neck, that Ai finally allows himself a sweet kiss. Maybe a touch too indulgent; he leans into Rin slowly, curls his hand in his hair. Noses at his smile line as he parts.
... Suddenly, at once, Ai is throwing himself backward against whatever part of the futon will catch him, and has his grip on Rin's shoulders and head strong enough to try and pull him down with him. Prone, naked, a little sweaty, but Ai could not think of breaking away so soon; he wants a moment to simply indulge. Because who knows what comes after this?]
Rin-senpai, [he intones; whether or not he's been able to pull them both down onto the futon or not, Ai's mumbling against Rin's temple with an exhausted, cheeky smile,] There's a husk to your voice when I know you're about to taunt me. It's the same in the water, too.
[ Rin is careful to slow as Ai comes undone, but not to a full stop yet. A small gesture to let that afterglow shine just a little too long; long enough to melt its memory into Ai’s heart. He’d judge himself a poor lover if he couldn’t live in Ai’s mind days longer than the moment could last, at least. He’s already sure he won’t forget this radiant haze, Ai exhausted with pleasure. He laughs, low and sweet, unheard of outside this kind of intimacy. From Rin, now, it seems unfamiliar, but Ai would know it well soon enough.
A kiss can hardly be a touch too indulgent if Rin gives to it just as freely.
It’s a little hard with the pose, the mess in his hands, but he tries to move quickly to let Ai recline against the futon. He smirks, but only half way, captured in the visage of Ai sprawled out. He gets the message, though, voluntarily shifting himself to follow. His filthy hand hovers low at their waists, trying to keep out of scene; his clean hand presses into the floor as he leans in. He kisses Ai’s breathless mouth simply, warmly, and pulls back again. Unfortunately, what comes after this is fulfilling an earlier demand: clean up. ]
That so? [ he mutters as he gets up to find Ai’s tissues, wrong at least once before finding them quickly; he sort of remembered from surveying the space before. It could easily be missed in the motion, but he finally rubs away the dried tears from earlier, at last annoyed by the cling of salt. He settles with the box of issues nearby. ]
Guess that’s true, [ he did have a bad habit of goading, but it’s not like he thought hard about it. ] Amazed you still have energy to say anything at all.
[There is almost something of a petulant whine when Rin gets up, not because Ai feels entitled to Rin or his affections or his intimacy, but because he has an idea of where Rin's trotting off to, and the far too forward and blunt thought that crosses his mind is I could have cleaned it up faster.
Rin's back is to him for only a few seconds as he seeks out the tissues, but it's enough for Ai to capture a mental snapshot of his naked body, half-illuminated by what faint moonlight is dribbling in through his sheer curtains, hair a mess. Knowing Ai's put him in that state. For a moment, Ai's curled knuckles press to his lips, trying to stay his heart from whipping circles up and out of his chest.
It puts him somewhere else for a moment. Somewhere distant; somewhere younger. When so much as looking upon Rin in their shared dorm would cause butterflies to erupt in his stomach, and Ai had to learn very very quickly how to keep such things from overtaking his countenance, lest he give Matsuoka-senpai the wrong idea. How lucky he feels now that letting such a thing out in the open doesn't put him in a tailspin.
No; as Rin approaches again, Ai's smile is sunny, betraying someone who just had an orgasm pulled out of him by the half-decade one-sided love of his life.]
You say that, yet you're the one on your feet, senpai. [Or, well, Rin had been a second ago. Ai sits up a little, even if it's presently the last thing he wants to do; appreciatively lets his hand skate over the knolls of Rin's taut lower abdomen.] You were the first to point out my stamina, besides. [Years ago, where Ai's brain had transported to for a moment, not that he expects Rin to follow that train of thought.
The silence that follows ought to be peaceful. But Ai's anxious heart still holds some amount of worry that what happens here stays here. A timer. Never mind the fact they'd both somewhat overtly exchanged promises. Never mind his confidence that a month was plentiful time to make memories. He said as much earlier: I'm selfish. He wants as much of Rin as he can take, before he's unable to take much at all.
[ Rin smirks, cleaning his hand with a laugh. ] I finished ten minutes ago. You just did this, [ there’s a small movement, a tiny implication, of how recently Ai had finished. Tissues are used and wadded up as Rin sets them out of Ai’s sight. His mind, truthfully, still fogged and empty from the encounter. He glances, wordlessly, back as Ai reflects on a history long, long past. A subtle, unconscious nod speaks for the memory that drifts through his head. It wasn’t his choice to put Ai in long-distance back then, but it made sense for… well, a few reasons. There’s little else for him to wonder.
His eyes find the nearest clock, looking even more tired now that he spies the time. Lust and passion are truly the only reason his eyes are still open. Would Ai even care? He’s pretty sure a bath would just put him to sleep for good.
He sighs as he reaches out to dispose of the mess. His body reclines and falls beside Ai’s. There’s no way their bodies are resting in line with the futon. He stares at the ceiling, shoulder to shoulder with the other. ] Maybe later. [ he mutters, voice barely there.
If it seems like Rin could fall asleep in a moment, it’s true; but abruptly his head turns to see the young man beside him. His hair cascades away from his face and over the sheets. A funny, dreamy smile decorates his lips. There are words he could say in this moment, hundreds even, if he had time to arrange them. His arm reaches up, a brief moment to brush his finger along Ai’s cheek. ]
You’re cute, [ he declares at last, his voice betraying a hopeless romantic. He’d thought it dozens of times over the night, but he’s sure (wrongly) it’s the first time he’s said it. At least now, it’s the first time he’s said it with so much intention. ]
[There is just. Something. Small in the back of his mind when his proposition isn't really acknowledged. Is this it? Here and gone again? A flit against his characteristically un-composed countenance, though to Rin's credit, the moment he's laid down shoulder-to-shoulder, it seems as if whatever worry had sprung up in Ai's mind melts away.
Maybe this was fine, after all. Maybe indulgence could go both ways. Maybe I'm not chasing anymore.
He cannot help the way he rolls his head over almost immediately, though lazily. Silver hair splayed over his forehead, barely brushing against the futon below him lopsidedly. Sky blue eyes take in the measure of Rin's confirmation, unabashed in how they scour deep crimson red, or the taut, sharp lines of his face, or the way his hair so beautifully fans around him. Ah, this is dangerous, isn't it? All at once, his pulse is thrumming in the triple-digits. As if he and Rin didn't just have sex, there is something about this proximity and this borderline intimacy that has an animal tearing itself from its cage inside of his chest.
Then Rin says that. And Ai shoots to sit up on his arms, blinking owlishly down at Rin.]
You said it again, [is the hushed observation he mutters without realizing he's muttered. As if the idea of Rin being into him was foreign, too. For how stuck his expression is, his appreciation can't be stilled, reaching down to push a lock of Rin's hair away from his eyes.]
T... Thank you, [comes the quiet stammer, extremely not used to being fed compliments like that. Anyone with half-working eyes could see his face is on fire, even in this dim light.]
Rin-senpai.
[This isn't enough, suddenly. Sitting here and telling Rin he's handsome isn't enough, either. He's not gonna leave room for Rin to protest; Ai is rising to his feet, uncaring that he's still completely nude and softening, scooping Rin's hand into his own to try and urge him back up on his feet.]
[ Wait, again? Although his smile doesn’t drop, his brows does flinch at a furrow. When did he—actually, never mind, it ruins the punchline.
Half-functioning, or all dreamy? He may have been asking for that flush when he whispered his heart, but hardly expected Ai’s graceful response. He thinks to ask Ai to move back toward him, to lay as lovers, but as soon as the thought strikes him, Ai is doing rather the opposite.
Ai, suddenly standing, startles Rin, but he laughs as Ai’s intentions are made apparent. At the risk of dozing off, he closes his eyes and lolls his head as he chortles. Indignation feigns in his voice. ] Geez, what a pain. I just got comfortable here, you know...
[ He could never actually say no. His small complaint is quickly brushed away. Rin stands, stretches and yawns, and at last pats Ai’s rear lightly. ] Catch me if I fall before we get there...
[Rin will get his laying as lovers, but Ai is making damn sure it isn't happening two inches off the floor. After the events of the night, and knowing they will both have one hell of a morning, and still wanting to make a good impression, and trying to do good by the sentiments he's stood by for years and years--
Yeah. Sorry, Rin, but the bed is the only option, and Ai is stubborn enough to make it happen. Would carry Rin if necessary, though thankfully it seems Rin's not completely tuckered; Ai whips his head to stare at him with an expression halfway stuck between startled and playful, Rin's hand gliding far too effortlessly along the globe of his rear.
Ah, definitely. I think this is the end for me.]
Senpai...!
[His hands fly back to cover his glutes, as if Rin hasn't had a front-row seat for about the past half hour. Strides one footfall faster with a noise from his throat as if dislodging it,]
You'll survive, [Ai coos, once the heat has dropped from him just a little; gives Rin a soft peck on his shoulder before crawling into his own bed, and holding up the covers in a very obvious beckon for Rin to join him.]
[ He’s smiling, too tired to be dastardly, but Ai’s strong response is more than a little funny. He could tease him, but, eh, there will be other times. For now, Ai is treating him sweetly, invitingly, and Rin has to admit, he’s taken by it all.
He’s not sure why: this gentle moment throws his mind backwards in time. Ai’s first year in high school, and his own second. He remembers inviting Ai into his bed--nothing quite like this moment--for help with an exercise, yet the intimacy feels undeniably familiar. Solemn confessions and outbursts of rage: in those days through to this moment, his junior still remained at his side.
It could have been anyone in those shoes. They had other teammates. Men with spirit and a passion for swimming, whose fires could have burned as hotly as Rin's own. And yet… there was Ai. Ai, whom he knew was always... different, but never defined. Sought yet unwanted; Rin struggled so deeply back then, even the thought of connecting felt as a burden, and then, again, there was still Ai. He welcomed Ai’s hovering, and at times, hovered just the same; maybe even presented himself for that chance to hear him speak and bask in his bright happiness. Ai’s heart felt so, so much lighter in those days than his own. Of course, he learned better as time passed; Ai was a person like any other, and it made him all that much easier to be with, to talk to and connect with. How did an asshole like him ever draw the eye of someone so unrepentantly kindhearted?
Doubtful that either of them ever thought it, but in hindsight it feels quite obvious: Rin needed him. Ai truly saw him at his worst in those days and stayed. If only his heart hadn’t been so burdened, it might have been easier to admit any of this. Maybe half a decade would not have been how long this all took. Ai looks… so happy right now.
His eyes close for a moment. He remembers thinking Ai was quite beautiful back then as well.
What feels like an eternity to sift through memories is really only a few seconds longer than he needed to act on Ai’s obvious invitation. Rin snags the covers and pulls them further back. With a little nudging, he coaxes his arm under the crook of Ai’s neck as he lays himself down. He grabs the young man’s waist, suggesting implicitly they lay face to face, for at least a moment. His lips find Ai’s, a small hum in his throat as he steals another kiss. ]
[It's a parallel that flits through his mind, too. Matsuoka-senpai's bed was no stranger to him; Ai had oftentimes found himself between bent knees, counting reps. Or occasionally hovering over its edge, wondering if Matsuoka-senpai wanted company after waking up in a cold sweat. What funny things time and distance and hindsight were; when Rin finally slots himself under the covers, Ai's heart leaps to the same exact heights it had five years ago.
Because so little has changed, among everything changing. That which matters - Rin's place in his life, so stoutly reserved no matter how long they go without seeing one another - has remained dutifully unmoving.
His breath hitches just a little when Rin consumes his entire periphery, but Ai is no more shy for it; shifts just a little to let Rin get his arm comfortable under the crook of Ai's neck, shifts a little closer when he feels the arm around his waist. Ai's hand for a moment comes to Rin's cheek as they share in a sweet, slow kiss, every single nerve in his body firing and then cooling at once. As Ai parts, his hand slides down to the small of Rin's back; his head rests squarely on the pillow, but sky blue eyes are rapt on Rin just centimeters beside him.
He has long eyelashes, Ai observes, thumb smoothing over a patch of skin where he's holding Rin, and the corners of his eyes are tight.
Ah... That's it, really. Rin-senpai is perfect.]
You arm will fall asleep like this. [As if that is anywhere near enough to encapsulate his rumination - and as if he'll move, either. He's dead tired, he knows Rin is too, but his tongue is strong and Ai has ran out of feet to shove into his mouth, so.]
I remember thinking how easy it'd be to crawl into your bunk. Especially on those nights where it was obvious you couldn't sleep. [He snugs his head down a little further, both against the pillow and Rin's arm.]
[ He snorts a little, his eyes drifting close. Yeah, his whole body is about to fall asleep, too, Ai. Let him have this!
But they open again, a little, as Ai asserts the next thought. So… that’s on both of their minds, then. He’s healed, sure, but those days are still hard to reflect on. They were his darkest and lowest. He was a dream chaser, and his dreams were ablaze and ashen. How much could have changed if Ai did act on that want? It... didn’t matter. He didn’t try, and Rin couldn’t blame Ai for never asking. He thinks maybe it could have just as easily been worse for them both. Ai deserved better than who he was. At least now, he can say that maybe the trouble is worth the wait. He doesn’t answer, unless the coo on his breath counts for something. It’s late. His body is spent, his heart has cooled, the alcohol dulls him; the man in his arms is warm, and his voice is sweet.
If he were asked, he’d have been sure he sleeps through the night without a peep; but tonight it felt impossible. He didn’t dream, unless his moments of cognizance counted for something. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe, there was something that made it easier to remember every time he roused. He wasn’t, for once, alone in bed. If Rin shifted, it’s only because Ai had moved before him, moving toward the warmth of skin against his own. Without a mind for propriety, his vulnerability laid itself peacefully across Ai’s sheets.
It’s still too early when drifting in-and-out of sleep finally becomes too much for Rin, but the sun is out, anyway. He rolls to his back and stares for a long time out the window. His gaze is bleary, but he knows he feels the heat of another at hand. It’s him, isn’t it? Rin turns his head again to catch sight of the tuft of gray hair. He smiles, overwhelmed. It wasn’t a dream. Fuck, he hated the morning, but this... this would be his favourite forever. ]
[Ai usually slept quite soundly, and calmly at that. Might toss or turn a bit while getting comfortable, but when he was out - if it was a normal Tuesday - he was out. Would fall asleep and wake up in the exact same position. Sometimes on his side; sometimes on his back. Rarely strewn about.
It should come as no shock, however, that having another pressed against him for the entire duration of the night is enough to set his senses haywire, making it impossibly difficult to settle. That, and the way he cannot help but replay their encounter over and over and over again in his head, keeping his mind painfully awake and borderline giddy, at least for the first few hours. He does eventually succumb, even if it's not entirely peacefully, exhaustion simply catching up to him.
And it is with the same bleary hesitance he greets the morning, only rousing because he can faintly feel Rin doing the same right beside him. Rin may have lacked a moment's clarity, but Ai had made damn sure to commit all of the previous night to memory; so upon nuzzling his head further down into the pillow and feeling skin right beside him still, he isn't shocked. Though the way his hand twitches against Rin's stomach could almost be described as shy. Ai remembers, wants to latch on desperately to what they shared, but still didn't have the certainty Rin felt the same. Was a bleary and romantic morning spent cuddling even on the table?
It's for this reason he ignores the way the sun cascades through his windows, makes an inelegant noise closer to a groan than a sigh, curls closer to Rin's body, buries his face against his neck... Yeah. Good luck prying him off and getting yourself decent, Rin.]
[ He’s not sure if Ai’s awake or just clingy, but chuckle tickles his throat as Ai buries himself in Rin’s neck. Fine, if this is how Ai wants it, for a little while he can. He leans his chin into soft hair. His elbow bends and his fingers dance along the outline of his shoulder before settling at his ribcage. He mixes his fingers into Ai’s over his chest and sighs. Has he ever had a moment like this? A wild, fervent sexual encounter later blanketed with sweet romanticism. Perhaps some girl, some years ago, whose name he doesn’t remember well. She was nice, but he barely knew her.
He knew Ai, though.
Calming as the presence is, the quiet gives way to too much thinking. A month. Fuck. He already knew he promised Gou, they’d visit their mother. The journey was long; he’d have no way to excuse himself and seek this body again. He promised he’d see Sousuke, Makoto and Haru... Days slip away before his eyes. Fuck. He'd be pouring over his schedule to make this worth Ai's time, wouldn't he? ]
Hey, [ he whispers, shifting ever so slightly. Surprisingly, he masks his worries well for once: his voice growls low and amused. ] You can’t sleep on me forever, you know.
[Clingy or awake? Both. Though the former he usually tried to downplay, especially as age has taken to them both, always aware that the amount he fawned over Rin could easily be construed as too much by any measure. Always painfully aware that Rin's in a constant state of charging ahead recklessly, and painfully aware that he could burden that if he prostrates too much. An anxiety when he was younger, certainly; it manifests now in their collegiate years as accidentally having gone months without texting Rin before he'd come for a reunion at the night market.
Faintly, Ai wonders if going forward it'll be easier not to feel like such a colossal burden. If his backbone has become straight enough, his chest proud enough. If he could find within himself the self-worth to believe Rin when he says he wants Ai there.
Already awake, his heart kicks into overdrive when Rin so softly laces their fingers together and gently corrals him closer... Which doesn't exactly make it easier to want to part. Ai certainly isn't thinking about Rin's packed schedule - yet - but merely about whether or not the magic was going to end here with them.
So even though he whinges a little - a soft puff of air and a gravelly noise from the back of his throat - and squeezes Rin's hand against his breast, Ai's words are painfully raw and honest,]
I don't want to let go of you just yet.
[In that way of his that is so casual and almost vapid, despite effectively slapping his heart down on the table and forcing Rin to confront it, do or die. After a moment though, Ai does turn his head upward; enough to rest his chin on Rin's shoulder, and catch view of his eyes. There's a quiet pensiveness there, though Ai quickly smooths it over with a rueful smile.]
Are you going to visit family today? [A shot in the dark, but Ai figures Rin would prioritize his family over his friends, never mind the fact he likely wanted access to his things, to take a shower, to eat...]
[ A hum tickles his throat, confirming more or less that Ai’s guess is good. There are details he could get into, plans to admit, but none of those things are what he really wants to talk about. In truth, there wasn’t much he wanted to talk about.
He shifts again, bigger this time. His hand moves from Ai’s to grab him at the waist, pushing him onto his back as Rin starts to lift his weight. His forearm rests under Ai’s neck, pressing into the mattress to lift his torso, as his head hanging close over Ai’s. With his front pressed against Ai's entire side, a warm shadow casts between their bodies, small and intimate. ] Nowhere I gotta’ be now... [ he whispers, as his knee slides between Ai's thighs and his weight falls heavy upon him.
At last, his hand touches Ai’s jaw and his thumb smooths over his cheek. For a moment last night, Rin thinks he had a little time to drink in the warm waters of Ai’s gaze, and for a moment he’ll take that time again. ] ...‘cept with this pretty guy. [ However Ai responds, his eyes are unflinching. His hand slides down his lover’s cheek and over his throat. He paws at Ai’s chest and stomach, each grasp a bold and plain suggestion. ]
[Ai is pliant, letting Rin press him back into the mattress, feeling the strength and flex of Rin's forearm against the back of his neck as he uses it for leverage above Ai, watching how the morning sun filters in across from Rin and casts him beautifully in shades of gold. There has to be a way to bottle this, Ai thinks; to make it something he can tap into again and again. To make it so he can wake up with and to Matsuoka Rin more than once in his lifetime.
Hands completely freed, they naturally come to the small of Rin's waist, especially as he settles beside and on top of Ai; his palms lazily, appreciatively brush over his skin. Called pretty again, Ai can't help the dopey smile he wears, laced with morning dust, but no less genuine for it; one hand smooths over to Rin's back, up his spine when he feels Rin's take an opposite trajectory on his body.]
Are you trying to get on my good side?
[It's a tease. And perhaps a bad one at that, because Rin has only ever been on Ai's good side. He can't help himself, leaning his head up and off the bed and Rin's arm both in pursuit of his lips; a slow, unhurried kiss, melted slowly into slotting together, blunt fingernails dragging down Rin's shoulders, feather-light; this much, he should hope, serves as encouragement for Rin to keep pursuing that which he clearly means to pursue.]
[ Rin falls into Ai’s kiss, each one betraying his heart’s desire. Yes, of course he wanted on Ai’s good side. Gladly, selfishly, he wanted to bask in the sweet radiance of his smile and laugh, and reflect against the sunny sky in his eyes. Calling Ai “pretty” wasn’t as much his plea for Ai’s favour, but rather his admission pleaded instead: to want to be with him in these early morning hours, their hearts lit up in golden rays.
As sweet as he wanted his kisses to stay, he can’t help the lingering that sneaks its way into each kiss, a certain heaviness as he captures his bottom lip firm between his own. Each one bubbles over in his heart, the growing boil of heat and want brought back into him.
His throat rumbles with pleasure as Ai’s nails press into his skin, and like a favour, bears his own in turn: firmer, harder, scratching down Ai’s hip before continuing. Around the V in Ai’s hips, Rin’s hand bears a heavy weight that skirts close to Ai’s sex as it skirts along. Once more, now with palm flat over Ai’s belly: his fingers tangle into grizzled hair, the space between his fingers wrapping around the base of Ai’s sex before grabbing firmly down.
Whatever touch Rin offers is small and fleeting, even if Ai is well on his way. His fingers taunting Ai no more than inch passed the base. ]
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Date: 2025-09-10 07:59 pm (UTC)Is it too much to move on his own? He whines against the fervent kiss, tongue dancing with Ai’s. Did Ai get it from before? Ai’s not the only one burning with want, but gods, he wanted Ai to have this moment in whatever way. It’s only Ai's hand, implicitly begging him to hold on, that tells Rin he’s fine. Thoughtlessly, he pulls at Ai's ass cheeks, stretching him intimately, before adjusting his legs to meet Ai where they are; the rhythm of his trusts moves in tandem with Ai.
He hates to admit it, but his body is already overworked from earlier. He’s sensitive from a long absence of touch; the season stole so much of his time, as it always did. Rin jerks out of the kiss, gasping for air, his hips falling briefly out of rhythm: ] hn, fuck me-- [ not a plead, but a curse. Too soon. His hand jerks up to grab Ai’s neck and hold him down, lips barely touching but still he needed air. Come paints his abs as his own rolling want begins to wane. Tears dot the corners of his eyes as they roll backward. ]
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Date: 2025-09-10 08:40 pm (UTC)It's so sudden and unexpected, and Ai lets out a small gasp at the sudden feeling of Rin's stuttered movement, twitching arousal, and a wet warmth smearing itself on his lower belly between their bodies.
He will not insult Rin by looking down-- not that he could, anyway, what with the strength Rin's just peeled him off and away from his face, seemingly desperate to pull air into his lungs. If Ai were younger, less confident, less sure, he'd be mortified and insulted in equal measure. But like this? No expectations, just indulgence?
Rin's eyes might glass over, but Ai feels an overwhelming sense of pride at having brought him to the precipice with just this much. His movements have stilled, not wanting to push Rin into oversensitivity; despite Rin's unreadable reaction to his own sudden orgasm, Ai seems undeterred, kissing where he could. the side of Rin's jaw, his clavicle.
He shifts just a little lower on Rin's body, straddling his thighs more than his lap; Ai appreciatively smooths his hands over Rin's upper torso, down to his ribs, back up again. Seems not to be paying too much attention to his own painfully hard arousal, only on helping Rin come down. Ai can't help but chew his bottom lip, a little.]
I got to see it, [he murmurs, voice almost breathless,] the kind of face you make. [His voice grows quieter still, kissing above Rin's breast.] It's mine now.
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Date: 2025-09-10 09:40 pm (UTC)Ai speaks, and he laughs through his teeth, airy and disconnected. ] Such a dork, [ He’s embarrassed, but not ashamed. Yeah, it is his now. Rin’s hand comes lazily up to pet Ai’s soft head of hair as kisses are laid upon his chest. His eyes look up and above him, starting briefly out the window and Ai fawns over his fatigued body. A blink knocks the tears from his lashes, fine with what a wreck he is in bed. This really is the difference between a lover and, well, whatever Rin has been up to. Ai is impossibly sweet.
He... is so fucked, in the best way possible.
Rin groans as he lifts himself up, still breathless. Just a guess at a glance, but he’d think he’d be more of a mess if Ai had also climaxed. ] And? You? Shouldn’t a selfish lover be finished by now? [ He smirks and cocks his eyebrow. He hasn’t forgotten that claim. He'll sit up more if Ai gives him an inch. ]
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Date: 2025-09-10 10:01 pm (UTC)He'd thought Rin to be upset for a second there; Ai is glad that isn't the case. He's never been more relieved to be called a dork, even if it does earn Rin an eye roll.] Let me have this much, [he protests gently, as if this entire encounter hasn't just been one instance of Ai insisting let me have this after another. Rin was a fool to spoil him.
He sits back as Rin sits up, even doing him the favour of sliding off his legs and to the side; this does leave Ai's one leg cast over Rin's, but it's hardly impossible for Rin to move or shift like this at least. It's here, confronted over his bravado and his acute lack of completion that Ai's expression shifts just a little bashful. He allows himself to look down this time, to Rin's body; to the spoils across his lower abdomen. Heat blossoms in his chest, and Ai can't resist smoothing his hand over Rin's upper thigh.]
I got what I wanted, [he admits easily. Then his eyebrows are knitting, looking at Rin with a simper this time,] I'm a little slow is all. It isn't you, I promise. [Endurance. Stamina. Poor guy had it in spades. His razor in the water; his heel in bed.]
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Date: 2025-09-13 01:42 am (UTC)[ There’s a devilish smirk on his lips as he hisses a command, shifting himself as much as pulling Ai back into his lap. His legs are spread but crossed at the ankle as he fits Ai into the space in between. His hands guide Ai to hold onto his shoulders. He wraps his arm around Ai to support him in place and leans his face into Ai’s and grins. ] Tell me, with a straight face, that you haven’t thought how badly you’ve wanted more.
[ He didn’t know. He didn’t need to know. But he did need to stoke that fire, and he didn’t mind taking a shot in the dark if it could ignite a flame. His hand pinches along Ai’s leg, his thumb sunk deep into the muscle of his inner thigh as it massages up. He doesn’t take Ai immediately, waiting for whatever answer he wanted to give, but the tips of his fingers do brush against the length of his erection, reminding him that he can want as much as he needs. ]
It's no fun if I'm the only one who's a mess.
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Date: 2025-09-13 02:20 am (UTC)time and time again the only thing, the one thing Ai would bother to commit to phantom memory is Rin's face. Not the mental supposition of his touch; not even his voice, so readily available in Ai's mental recall. But what a sight it must be to see the proud and strong Matsuoka Rin come undone, and what it must feel like to know he's responsible for it.
He was being sincere, but then Rin's looking at him like that--]
I--!
[And the sudden heat with which Rin meets him floods straight to his weeping cock, though it does unfortunately make a pitstop on the way, Ai's engine cranking at maximum throttle in his chest. Ai chews into his bottom lip, and it isn't coy; it's a violent thing, trying so hard to maintain a composure, to not cross a line, but.
Frankly, fuck.]
Of course I have, [he admits far too easily, even if it's with a somewhat set jaw; his words are interrupted by his own soft gasp at the way Rin pinches his skin,] Because it's you.
[The way Rin undoes his composure is almost professional, honestly. And borderline miraculous; Nitori Aiichirou was not known for a weak resolve, after all. He shamelessly rolls his hips forward as if trying to chase the barely-there touch Rin had just glossed against him, one of his hands scrambling up into Rin's hair and the other digging blunt fingernails into the back of his shoulder.
He exhales one shuddered breath before daring to bring sky blue eyes up to meet crimson, resigned to his need.]
Go ahead and show me, then. Make a mess of me. Just remember it'll be yours to clean up after, this time.
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Date: 2025-09-14 05:35 am (UTC)This admission, because it’s you, burns with climactic energy, and had he not been spent so shortly before, this moment could have changed certainly. He’s embarrassed with himself, his heart so easily weakened by the thought of being wanted too deeply, so terribly that it made Ai clench his teeth and hiss. All too well, he understood that pent of frustration. Different, yet, it shared a commonality; an all-consuming desire for one singular connection.
He has only a moment to consider words akin to an apology, not that now is the time. Ai thrusts with wanting and Rin catches his sex, languidly stoking the flames he’s rekindled in Ai. His to clean up? He chortles. He hasn’t even cleaned up himself. ]
Good, [ Rin whispers, his voice oddly sweet. If their faces hadn’t been so close, Ai might notice the unusually dreamy affection that blooms from his cheeks. He kisses Ai. His hand wraps around the head of Ai’s erection to rub and polish, each motion lengthening by millimeters until Rin his tugging every inch of Ai’s cock up and down. Briefly, his hand will brush low, teasing Ai’s balls only enough to test his tolerance.
It’s only now that Rin seems to finally cave to an earlier suggestion; as Ai grows more worked up, more desperate for breath, Rin finally draws out of the kisses to spoil the nape of Ai’s neck, picking his marks carefully as he sucks and bites into him, seeming less and less focused on courtesy lust boils in his chest. ]
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Date: 2025-09-14 02:59 pm (UTC)Thirty seconds ago, this only applied to his aspirations and dreams. How humbling it is for the fog to clear and for self-actualization to hit him so potently it upends his mentalscape entirely. Ah, so that's what this is.
A small noise escapes him when Rin kisses him again, and another as Rin works at his length with a dutiful intent; Ai's legs fall a bit more splayed as if to try and welcome in all Rin had to offer, also enabling him to better leverage himself so as to shamelessly buck up into Rin's hold on him, matching whatever tempo he's set.
What finally makes that heat begin to coil and threaten, though, is feeling Rin's lips against his nape; worse still when he bites, stealing from Ai a moan so overt it borders on salacious and uncharacteristic both. Stuck between ministrations, his cock twitches at attention, thigh muscles tensing as Ai tries to delay what is now inevitable.]
Rin-senpai, [comes the warning-- the plea?, Ai shifting his head further to the side to expose new mars to cool air, for a moment burrowing his face into Rin's shoulder... And then he remembers, for the second time. Conjures within himself the mental presence to bring his head center again, forehead pressed to Rin's; a hand steady on Rin's jaw and nape, keeping him there. Imploring him to look.]
Close-- Senpai, please, I'm--
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Date: 2025-09-15 06:07 am (UTC)He hears his name, his mind exits the fog. What he remembered was Ai’s legs opening for him and now his knees tight against Rin’s body. There’s dry salt still over his temples from minutes before. Ai is practically begging for release. He hesitates to mar this moment with his own, stupid voice when Ai coming so thoroughly undone is the only song he ever wanted to hear. He hesitates a breath, hitching behind his unshy smile, ] Yeah? You’re gonna-- [ light and airy, his voice oozes glee as he echos the same breathlessness. He can't help but tease, even now.
His eyes fixate on Ai, his hand unrelenting as he pleasures him. His other, still supporting Ai’s back with all his strength, buckles against his skin as he grips onto him. As badly as he wants to layer kisses over that restless mouth, he can't help but find himself rather jealous of the sight Ai got to see tonight. ]
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Date: 2025-09-15 02:24 pm (UTC)Even if it's a chide, a goad; Ai is weak to it, the audible reminder of who exactly has him in hand at the moment, who exactly he's lain with, who exactly he gets to unpack and figure out complicated answers with in the coming hours, days. There's a full-bodied shudder, a tug of his brow, and then lips agape as Rin brings him over, spending himself over his knuckles.
As he rides it out, his hands wrap strongly around Rin's shoulders, one in his hair; he feels so pried open and vulnerable, but is still making sure Rin is looking, as promised. It isn't until he has nothing left to give, soft pants sucked in through parted lips and clammy sweat on his neck, that Ai finally allows himself a sweet kiss. Maybe a touch too indulgent; he leans into Rin slowly, curls his hand in his hair. Noses at his smile line as he parts.
... Suddenly, at once, Ai is throwing himself backward against whatever part of the futon will catch him, and has his grip on Rin's shoulders and head strong enough to try and pull him down with him. Prone, naked, a little sweaty, but Ai could not think of breaking away so soon; he wants a moment to simply indulge. Because who knows what comes after this?]
Rin-senpai, [he intones; whether or not he's been able to pull them both down onto the futon or not, Ai's mumbling against Rin's temple with an exhausted, cheeky smile,] There's a husk to your voice when I know you're about to taunt me. It's the same in the water, too.
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Date: 2025-09-15 08:20 pm (UTC)A kiss can hardly be a touch too indulgent if Rin gives to it just as freely.
It’s a little hard with the pose, the mess in his hands, but he tries to move quickly to let Ai recline against the futon. He smirks, but only half way, captured in the visage of Ai sprawled out. He gets the message, though, voluntarily shifting himself to follow. His filthy hand hovers low at their waists, trying to keep out of scene; his clean hand presses into the floor as he leans in. He kisses Ai’s breathless mouth simply, warmly, and pulls back again. Unfortunately, what comes after this is fulfilling an earlier demand: clean up. ]
That so? [ he mutters as he gets up to find Ai’s tissues, wrong at least once before finding them quickly; he sort of remembered from surveying the space before. It could easily be missed in the motion, but he finally rubs away the dried tears from earlier, at last annoyed by the cling of salt. He settles with the box of issues nearby. ]
Guess that’s true, [ he did have a bad habit of goading, but it’s not like he thought hard about it. ] Amazed you still have energy to say anything at all.
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Date: 2025-09-15 08:56 pm (UTC)Rin's back is to him for only a few seconds as he seeks out the tissues, but it's enough for Ai to capture a mental snapshot of his naked body, half-illuminated by what faint moonlight is dribbling in through his sheer curtains, hair a mess. Knowing Ai's put him in that state. For a moment, Ai's curled knuckles press to his lips, trying to stay his heart from whipping circles up and out of his chest.
It puts him somewhere else for a moment. Somewhere distant; somewhere younger. When so much as looking upon Rin in their shared dorm would cause butterflies to erupt in his stomach, and Ai had to learn very very quickly how to keep such things from overtaking his countenance, lest he give Matsuoka-senpai the wrong idea. How lucky he feels now that letting such a thing out in the open doesn't put him in a tailspin.
No; as Rin approaches again, Ai's smile is sunny, betraying someone who just had an orgasm pulled out of him by the half-decade one-sided love of his life.]
You say that, yet you're the one on your feet, senpai. [Or, well, Rin had been a second ago. Ai sits up a little, even if it's presently the last thing he wants to do; appreciatively lets his hand skate over the knolls of Rin's taut lower abdomen.] You were the first to point out my stamina, besides. [Years ago, where Ai's brain had transported to for a moment, not that he expects Rin to follow that train of thought.
The silence that follows ought to be peaceful. But Ai's anxious heart still holds some amount of worry that what happens here stays here. A timer. Never mind the fact they'd both somewhat overtly exchanged promises. Never mind his confidence that a month was plentiful time to make memories. He said as much earlier: I'm selfish. He wants as much of Rin as he can take, before he's unable to take much at all.
Softly, his fingers trace down to Rin's wrist.]
Do you want to take a bath?
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Date: 2025-09-19 12:53 am (UTC)His eyes find the nearest clock, looking even more tired now that he spies the time. Lust and passion are truly the only reason his eyes are still open. Would Ai even care? He’s pretty sure a bath would just put him to sleep for good.
He sighs as he reaches out to dispose of the mess. His body reclines and falls beside Ai’s. There’s no way their bodies are resting in line with the futon. He stares at the ceiling, shoulder to shoulder with the other. ] Maybe later. [ he mutters, voice barely there.
If it seems like Rin could fall asleep in a moment, it’s true; but abruptly his head turns to see the young man beside him. His hair cascades away from his face and over the sheets. A funny, dreamy smile decorates his lips. There are words he could say in this moment, hundreds even, if he had time to arrange them. His arm reaches up, a brief moment to brush his finger along Ai’s cheek. ]
You’re cute, [ he declares at last, his voice betraying a hopeless romantic. He’d thought it dozens of times over the night, but he’s sure (wrongly) it’s the first time he’s said it. At least now, it’s the first time he’s said it with so much intention. ]
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Date: 2025-09-19 01:31 am (UTC)Maybe this was fine, after all. Maybe indulgence could go both ways. Maybe I'm not chasing anymore.
He cannot help the way he rolls his head over almost immediately, though lazily. Silver hair splayed over his forehead, barely brushing against the futon below him lopsidedly. Sky blue eyes take in the measure of Rin's confirmation, unabashed in how they scour deep crimson red, or the taut, sharp lines of his face, or the way his hair so beautifully fans around him. Ah, this is dangerous, isn't it? All at once, his pulse is thrumming in the triple-digits. As if he and Rin didn't just have sex, there is something about this proximity and this borderline intimacy that has an animal tearing itself from its cage inside of his chest.
Then Rin says that. And Ai shoots to sit up on his arms, blinking owlishly down at Rin.]
You said it again, [is the hushed observation he mutters without realizing he's muttered. As if the idea of Rin being into him was foreign, too. For how stuck his expression is, his appreciation can't be stilled, reaching down to push a lock of Rin's hair away from his eyes.]
T... Thank you, [comes the quiet stammer, extremely not used to being fed compliments like that. Anyone with half-working eyes could see his face is on fire, even in this dim light.]
Rin-senpai.
[This isn't enough, suddenly. Sitting here and telling Rin he's handsome isn't enough, either. He's not gonna leave room for Rin to protest; Ai is rising to his feet, uncaring that he's still completely nude and softening, scooping Rin's hand into his own to try and urge him back up on his feet.]
Come to the bed with me. Please.
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Date: 2025-09-20 04:14 am (UTC)Half-functioning, or all dreamy? He may have been asking for that flush when he whispered his heart, but hardly expected Ai’s graceful response. He thinks to ask Ai to move back toward him, to lay as lovers, but as soon as the thought strikes him, Ai is doing rather the opposite.
Ai, suddenly standing, startles Rin, but he laughs as Ai’s intentions are made apparent. At the risk of dozing off, he closes his eyes and lolls his head as he chortles. Indignation feigns in his voice. ] Geez, what a pain. I just got comfortable here, you know...
[ He could never actually say no. His small complaint is quickly brushed away. Rin stands, stretches and yawns, and at last pats Ai’s rear lightly. ] Catch me if I fall before we get there...
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Date: 2025-09-20 04:23 am (UTC)Yeah. Sorry, Rin, but the bed is the only option, and Ai is stubborn enough to make it happen. Would carry Rin if necessary, though thankfully it seems Rin's not completely tuckered; Ai whips his head to stare at him with an expression halfway stuck between startled and playful, Rin's hand gliding far too effortlessly along the globe of his rear.
Ah, definitely. I think this is the end for me.]
Senpai...!
[His hands fly back to cover his glutes, as if Rin hasn't had a front-row seat for about the past half hour. Strides one footfall faster with a noise from his throat as if dislodging it,]
You'll survive, [Ai coos, once the heat has dropped from him just a little; gives Rin a soft peck on his shoulder before crawling into his own bed, and holding up the covers in a very obvious beckon for Rin to join him.]
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Date: 2025-09-20 05:35 pm (UTC)He’s not sure why: this gentle moment throws his mind backwards in time. Ai’s first year in high school, and his own second. He remembers inviting Ai into his bed--nothing quite like this moment--for help with an exercise, yet the intimacy feels undeniably familiar. Solemn confessions and outbursts of rage: in those days through to this moment, his junior still remained at his side.
It could have been anyone in those shoes. They had other teammates. Men with spirit and a passion for swimming, whose fires could have burned as hotly as Rin's own. And yet… there was Ai. Ai, whom he knew was always... different, but never defined. Sought yet unwanted; Rin struggled so deeply back then, even the thought of connecting felt as a burden, and then, again, there was still Ai. He welcomed Ai’s hovering, and at times, hovered just the same; maybe even presented himself for that chance to hear him speak and bask in his bright happiness. Ai’s heart felt so, so much lighter in those days than his own. Of course, he learned better as time passed; Ai was a person like any other, and it made him all that much easier to be with, to talk to and connect with. How did an asshole like him ever draw the eye of someone so unrepentantly kindhearted?
Doubtful that either of them ever thought it, but in hindsight it feels quite obvious: Rin needed him. Ai truly saw him at his worst in those days and stayed. If only his heart hadn’t been so burdened, it might have been easier to admit any of this. Maybe half a decade would not have been how long this all took. Ai looks… so happy right now.
His eyes close for a moment. He remembers thinking Ai was quite beautiful back then as well.
What feels like an eternity to sift through memories is really only a few seconds longer than he needed to act on Ai’s obvious invitation. Rin snags the covers and pulls them further back. With a little nudging, he coaxes his arm under the crook of Ai’s neck as he lays himself down. He grabs the young man’s waist, suggesting implicitly they lay face to face, for at least a moment. His lips find Ai’s, a small hum in his throat as he steals another kiss. ]
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Date: 2025-09-20 10:54 pm (UTC)Because so little has changed, among everything changing. That which matters - Rin's place in his life, so stoutly reserved no matter how long they go without seeing one another - has remained dutifully unmoving.
His breath hitches just a little when Rin consumes his entire periphery, but Ai is no more shy for it; shifts just a little to let Rin get his arm comfortable under the crook of Ai's neck, shifts a little closer when he feels the arm around his waist. Ai's hand for a moment comes to Rin's cheek as they share in a sweet, slow kiss, every single nerve in his body firing and then cooling at once. As Ai parts, his hand slides down to the small of Rin's back; his head rests squarely on the pillow, but sky blue eyes are rapt on Rin just centimeters beside him.
He has long eyelashes, Ai observes, thumb smoothing over a patch of skin where he's holding Rin, and the corners of his eyes are tight.
Ah... That's it, really. Rin-senpai is perfect.]
You arm will fall asleep like this. [As if that is anywhere near enough to encapsulate his rumination - and as if he'll move, either. He's dead tired, he knows Rin is too, but his tongue is strong and Ai has ran out of feet to shove into his mouth, so.]
I remember thinking how easy it'd be to crawl into your bunk. Especially on those nights where it was obvious you couldn't sleep. [He snugs his head down a little further, both against the pillow and Rin's arm.]
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Date: 2025-09-22 01:07 am (UTC)But they open again, a little, as Ai asserts the next thought. So… that’s on both of their minds, then. He’s healed, sure, but those days are still hard to reflect on. They were his darkest and lowest. He was a dream chaser, and his dreams were ablaze and ashen. How much could have changed if Ai did act on that want? It... didn’t matter. He didn’t try, and Rin couldn’t blame Ai for never asking. He thinks maybe it could have just as easily been worse for them both. Ai deserved better than who he was. At least now, he can say that maybe the trouble is worth the wait. He doesn’t answer, unless the coo on his breath counts for something. It’s late. His body is spent, his heart has cooled, the alcohol dulls him; the man in his arms is warm, and his voice is sweet.
If he were asked, he’d have been sure he sleeps through the night without a peep; but tonight it felt impossible. He didn’t dream, unless his moments of cognizance counted for something. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe, there was something that made it easier to remember every time he roused. He wasn’t, for once, alone in bed. If Rin shifted, it’s only because Ai had moved before him, moving toward the warmth of skin against his own. Without a mind for propriety, his vulnerability laid itself peacefully across Ai’s sheets.
It’s still too early when drifting in-and-out of sleep finally becomes too much for Rin, but the sun is out, anyway. He rolls to his back and stares for a long time out the window. His gaze is bleary, but he knows he feels the heat of another at hand. It’s him, isn’t it? Rin turns his head again to catch sight of the tuft of gray hair. He smiles, overwhelmed. It wasn’t a dream. Fuck, he hated the morning, but this... this would be his favourite forever. ]
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Date: 2025-09-22 01:22 am (UTC)It should come as no shock, however, that having another pressed against him for the entire duration of the night is enough to set his senses haywire, making it impossibly difficult to settle. That, and the way he cannot help but replay their encounter over and over and over again in his head, keeping his mind painfully awake and borderline giddy, at least for the first few hours. He does eventually succumb, even if it's not entirely peacefully, exhaustion simply catching up to him.
And it is with the same bleary hesitance he greets the morning, only rousing because he can faintly feel Rin doing the same right beside him. Rin may have lacked a moment's clarity, but Ai had made damn sure to commit all of the previous night to memory; so upon nuzzling his head further down into the pillow and feeling skin right beside him still, he isn't shocked. Though the way his hand twitches against Rin's stomach could almost be described as shy. Ai remembers, wants to latch on desperately to what they shared, but still didn't have the certainty Rin felt the same. Was a bleary and romantic morning spent cuddling even on the table?
It's for this reason he ignores the way the sun cascades through his windows, makes an inelegant noise closer to a groan than a sigh, curls closer to Rin's body, buries his face against his neck... Yeah. Good luck prying him off and getting yourself decent, Rin.]
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Date: 2025-09-22 09:31 pm (UTC)He knew Ai, though.
Calming as the presence is, the quiet gives way to too much thinking. A month. Fuck. He already knew he promised Gou, they’d visit their mother. The journey was long; he’d have no way to excuse himself and seek this body again. He promised he’d see Sousuke, Makoto and Haru... Days slip away before his eyes. Fuck. He'd be pouring over his schedule to make this worth Ai's time, wouldn't he? ]
Hey, [ he whispers, shifting ever so slightly. Surprisingly, he masks his worries well for once: his voice growls low and amused. ] You can’t sleep on me forever, you know.
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Date: 2025-09-22 09:59 pm (UTC)Faintly, Ai wonders if going forward it'll be easier not to feel like such a colossal burden. If his backbone has become straight enough, his chest proud enough. If he could find within himself the self-worth to believe Rin when he says he wants Ai there.
Already awake, his heart kicks into overdrive when Rin so softly laces their fingers together and gently corrals him closer... Which doesn't exactly make it easier to want to part. Ai certainly isn't thinking about Rin's packed schedule - yet - but merely about whether or not the magic was going to end here with them.
So even though he whinges a little - a soft puff of air and a gravelly noise from the back of his throat - and squeezes Rin's hand against his breast, Ai's words are painfully raw and honest,]
I don't want to let go of you just yet.
[In that way of his that is so casual and almost vapid, despite effectively slapping his heart down on the table and forcing Rin to confront it, do or die. After a moment though, Ai does turn his head upward; enough to rest his chin on Rin's shoulder, and catch view of his eyes. There's a quiet pensiveness there, though Ai quickly smooths it over with a rueful smile.]
Are you going to visit family today? [A shot in the dark, but Ai figures Rin would prioritize his family over his friends, never mind the fact he likely wanted access to his things, to take a shower, to eat...]
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Date: 2025-09-25 04:53 am (UTC)He shifts again, bigger this time. His hand moves from Ai’s to grab him at the waist, pushing him onto his back as Rin starts to lift his weight. His forearm rests under Ai’s neck, pressing into the mattress to lift his torso, as his head hanging close over Ai’s. With his front pressed against Ai's entire side, a warm shadow casts between their bodies, small and intimate. ] Nowhere I gotta’ be now... [ he whispers, as his knee slides between Ai's thighs and his weight falls heavy upon him.
At last, his hand touches Ai’s jaw and his thumb smooths over his cheek. For a moment last night, Rin thinks he had a little time to drink in the warm waters of Ai’s gaze, and for a moment he’ll take that time again. ] ...‘cept with this pretty guy. [ However Ai responds, his eyes are unflinching. His hand slides down his lover’s cheek and over his throat. He paws at Ai’s chest and stomach, each grasp a bold and plain suggestion. ]
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Date: 2025-09-25 03:23 pm (UTC)Hands completely freed, they naturally come to the small of Rin's waist, especially as he settles beside and on top of Ai; his palms lazily, appreciatively brush over his skin. Called pretty again, Ai can't help the dopey smile he wears, laced with morning dust, but no less genuine for it; one hand smooths over to Rin's back, up his spine when he feels Rin's take an opposite trajectory on his body.]
Are you trying to get on my good side?
[It's a tease. And perhaps a bad one at that, because Rin has only ever been on Ai's good side. He can't help himself, leaning his head up and off the bed and Rin's arm both in pursuit of his lips; a slow, unhurried kiss, melted slowly into slotting together, blunt fingernails dragging down Rin's shoulders, feather-light; this much, he should hope, serves as encouragement for Rin to keep pursuing that which he clearly means to pursue.]
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Date: 2025-09-28 03:52 am (UTC)As sweet as he wanted his kisses to stay, he can’t help the lingering that sneaks its way into each kiss, a certain heaviness as he captures his bottom lip firm between his own. Each one bubbles over in his heart, the growing boil of heat and want brought back into him.
His throat rumbles with pleasure as Ai’s nails press into his skin, and like a favour, bears his own in turn: firmer, harder, scratching down Ai’s hip before continuing. Around the V in Ai’s hips, Rin’s hand bears a heavy weight that skirts close to Ai’s sex as it skirts along. Once more, now with palm flat over Ai’s belly: his fingers tangle into grizzled hair, the space between his fingers wrapping around the base of Ai’s sex before grabbing firmly down.
Whatever touch Rin offers is small and fleeting, even if Ai is well on his way. His fingers taunting Ai no more than inch passed the base. ]
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