[It was expected for the evening to go a little awry, what with Rin back in Japan for the first time in at least a season. Ai didn't have a clue how long for, only knew that Sousuke had sent him a text about a street market and to, quote, not scare him back overseas. It was as much of a cue as Ai needed that it'd be something of a long, rowdy evening.
There was little he could do to prepare for the warmth that threatened to bloom in his chest all over again, a summer's absence having left it colder.
One thing led to another, and the last train left well ahead of them all, and before Ai knows it it's nearly one AM and he is heading back to his apartment. The sudden onset of midnight rain only made that choice much more obvious, revelry be damned.]
[ He hated to admit he had his watch set to the wrong time after returning to Japan, but too much pride wasn't going to put him somewhere safe for the night. After departing from his "early" friends and walking to the station alone, he'd stood there nearly 30 minutes before realizing his mistake, and an extra ten trying to work through an alternative. That alternative....
His first choice - to message Ai - slipped to his third, flustered and frustrated, nearly texting Makoto to plead for help, but that guy lived even further off and... Ugh, just stop being a baby, dude. ]
Hey, I fucked up my train schedule...
[ Yet he waffles anyway, struggling for minutes to send out his next text. ] Mind if I crash at yours? [ He didn't anticipate a no, and he sort of knew the direction already. If anything, he'd be closer to a hotel even if the answer was no. Walking alone at midnight in the Tokyo suburbs wouldn't be so bad. Ai wasn't so far off; maybe twenty minutes to walk. He wonders what he should say or do.... Alone with Ai shouldn't be a big deal. It was easy enough while they were all together, to bathe in the elation of friendship and revelry, gulping down sake and eating fish like seals for fun... Just the two of them, though... his mind circles.
Eventually, the hum of crowd became quiet and the lights of advertisement faded behind him, closing in on the place Ai lived. He clicked his teeth as he approached the gate to the apartment complex. Locked out. ]
Here. [ He glanced up as he hits send, wondering which light was Ai's home. Rain falls into his eye and he groans to rub it out. ] Goddamnit. [ At least his timing was good. ]
[Ai isn't surprised to get a message at this hour, given the copious amount of company they had all been in. Nearly the entirety of their core group from Samezuka, plus almost all of Rin's friends from Iwatobi, and even a few heads Ai couldn't say he recognized. Even seeing Rin's name specifically pop up on his phone hadn't been much of a shock.
The messages, though.
Well, it's no big deal, right? They've roomed together before, and if they look past Ai's awful cluttering habits of the time, he and Rin managed to coexist pretty damn peacefully. Ai would even wager as far as to say he was proud of having been able to handle such a basket case of a human with grace, and come out the other end of it with one of the strongest friendships he's maintained for years. So then. Why is he gawking at his phone?]
Absolutely! Do you need my address? It's... [It's typed in full and sent to Rin, and once he has some level of certainty Rin's headed his way, Ai suddenly moves through his studio apartment like a cyclone. A feat, given he still has a small buzz; some odds and ends were picked up, a futon and a set of sheets were pulled out, and he fills his kettle with water. All just in time to hear his phone buzz again.
He doesn't reply; instead, toes on his shoes and glides out of his apartment and down the steps to the front foot in record speed, sky blue eyes landing upon Rin and just--]
Rin-senpai! [he chimes, trying to be heard over the rainfall. Ai scurries out from the awning of the stairwell in order to manually unlock the gate, not even thinking twice about taking hold of Rin's wrist to drag him inside the property line.] Quick, come on! You're sopping wet!
[Ai relinquishes Rin's wrist and trusts him to follow as Ai bounds up the stairs of the apartment complex, coming to the second floor; he walks to his front door, having left it unlocked in his retrieval of his former roommate. Ai pushes the door open, stepping aside to let Rin enter first.
He'd seen him only an hour ago, and yet all the same, Ai looks upon Rin like he's made of magic.]
You said your train didn't come? Senpai, it's past midnight. [There's a levity to his voice, entering behind Rin and closing the door.] You must be freezing...
[ He can hardly believe how quickly the rain came down on him, nor how hard. A few more minute would have been no different than dropping his ass straight into a pool. He can hardly think as he cringes against the onslaught and squints into the torrent. When Ai arrives, it’s like the gates of heaven swing open and an angel snags his wrist to draw him in. Wait, did he just compare Ai to an angel - nevermind, he’ll forget it quickly as he’s out of the rain and embarrass himself remembering it later. ]
Uh, fuck me... [ he curses under his breath, at first holding his arms above his sides to see how badly soaked he was. He may as well pull off his jacket and hat, he thinks and acts, following after Ai. His eyes look up and down the young man from behind, pondering his attire, wondering how much he had interrupted Ai's bedtime routine. It’s late, after all, even according to his slow watch.
He also notices that Ai doesn’t unlock his door when they approach and clicks his teeth. ] Eh, even an airhead shouldn’t be so forgetful about locking his door, [ he chides. He’s just worried for his friend, and enters the apartment without concern.
Nothing about the space surprises him, he’s so used to the way Ai was and is. Disorganized yet thoughtful. He leans against the wall to pull his tennis shoes off immediately and grimaces. ] Yeah, yeah, I know. [ he shakes his head and groans out a sigh, his frustration with himself clearly unabated. He’ll explain himself, but until then-- ]
I just need this shit to dry off, [ he says, glancing past his hair to Ai. He has such pretty blue eyes. Rin tears his gaze away. ] Bathroom? [ Presuming Ai points him in the right direction, Rin heads that way. ]
Yeah, I dunno’ what the hell I was thinking. I had my watch set wrong after I got back. [ He moves into the bathroom, leaving the door open if Ai does choose to follow. Hat on hook, jacket over the tub. Unabashedly, he pulls his shirt away and throws it over the rim of the tub too, before very quickly debating just how soaked his pants are.
...Pretty soaked. He sighs. At this point, it would just be weirder if he didn’t. ] Uh, Ai... Do you have, like... extra pants?
[ One way or another, belt is coming undone and the trousers are getting lost! ]
I just left it unlatched while I came to get you, [he replies easily. Ai would never compromise his space like that! But in the fetch to get Rin to somewhere more dry? Ai thought he'd wager his bets that no one was going to try breaking into his apartment in under one minute at this hour.
Rin would see that Ai's space is organized yet definitely well loved. A lot of knickknacks, posters, and lord knows how many bookshelves lining from the living room to the designated sleeping space he's set closer to the rear of the studio. Notably no stacks of books on the ground, though; you can sleep easy, Rin.
He points and even leads Rin toward his bathroom, and-- sorry Rin, but Ai titters and simpers a bit at the explanation given for what happened.]
It's only an hour difference, right? Ahh, well, this late at night it's bound to be a bigger problem. [Is it a little weird to be leaning against the ingress and effectively watching Rin strip down? Maybe. Not even in first year was Ai this forward, usually paying Rin his privacy and turning his back if they were both getting changed at the same time. His countenance doesn't reflect anything devious or untoward, though; rather, Ai looks a little taken. And a little nostalgic. This was hardly the first time he or Rin had gotten caught in a rain storm, and hardly the first time he or Rin helped each other out after slogging back to wherever they called home to deal with it.
To Rin's more practical question, Ai blinks.]
Ah, um--! Let me go check! [The gentle clanging of Rin's buckle coming loose is Ai's cue to hightail it out of there, rounding to where his closet is. Ai was never quite blessed with the same ability to pack on muscles in perpetuity like many of his former teammates, and Rin has about an inch or so on him, so it's likely no clothes would be a perfect fit. He finds some he thinks might not be totally offensive and pads back toward the bathroom, leaning against the doorway with one hand and passing off the dry clothes with the other.]
Senpai, here. [The way he's staring at Rin is definitely just taking his measure and nothing else. Rin would find in his hands a pair of black shorts, not unlike what Ai's currently wearing, and normal sleep pants.] The shorts will likely fit your waist better, they're a little loose on me. The pants might be tighter... [Ai's suddenly ruffling up his own hair, as if having contemplated something] It's easier to see now, [that Rin is down to skivvies and they aren't inundated with partygoing,] you've definitely gotten stronger since the last time you visited.
Thanks, [ he mutters, taking the two but deciding on the shorts with Ai’s clarification. Not like he can’t just ditch them later when he’s not wandering around the apartment. He turns away politely to lose his drawers, laying them with the rest of his things.
Bending over to step into the shorts, the muscles on his back flex, revealing his affection for butterfly to any skilled swimmer. Ai’s observation earns a hissed laugh: ] Tch, can’t say I didn’t bust my ass to get here. [ He straightens up, flexing his shoulders back with a confident grin. He’d be hard-pressed to admit plainly he enjoyed Ai’s compliments, but it doesn’t hide itself well here, either.
Resting his hand on his hip, tilts his head. ] Surprised you notice any difference. Hasn’t been that long.
[ Unless it has? He lives with this body every day after all, but he knew his numbers. Ai was right. Fresh from overseas, his body is in top form. ]
Of course you worked hard. [No amount of muscle was an easy gain, Ai would know. It took an entire semester of Sousuke coaching him and another second semester of added weight training to finally get to a place where he didn't feel like a waif, svelte stick next to his peers. All the better, Ai thinks, having since gained some amount of self-confidence to pair with his self-improvement; he'll never be the biggest guy, but slimmer bodies cut through the water faster.
He does Rin the favour of turning away when he finally drops his pants, but looks back just in time to catch his back muscles flexing. Ai wonders how much of it is on purpose, and it has a fond smile kissing his lips.]
No, but it's easy to tell that your training in Australia is different from what you were doing in Samezuka. [Ai tilts his head, considering his own words. Pauses. Then grins, just a smidge too big, with eyebrows knit right in the center] Well, I got used to seeing you every day, and then you were gone. I guess it only stands to reason I'd notice the little things more now than before.
[Conversations about how much staring is too much notwithstanding, Ai finally leans off the bathroom wall and steps into the hallway. Pauses to give Rin a once-over, and catches himself biting his bottom lip, holding back a laugh.]
Ah, that's new too. [He gestures vaguely with his hand,] I've never seen your legs out before.
[ It’s sweet that he notices... pays attention and keeps track. Rin simpers, but finds himself a bit lost for words at the moment, but he likes that big smile on Ai’s face whatever the case. ] Sure.
[ He starts to follow Ai out of the room, but hesitates and frowns. That lip bite... he doesn’t miss it, but he is nevertheless distracted by the gesture, following its path and looking down. ] Heh?
[ His LEGS? ] Well, tch’yeah, w-what the hell do you think is under my pants, stilts?! [ Is Ai just trying to get his goat? I mean, cause it worked. He pouts as he follows Ai finally. ] Tryin' not to look a gift horse in the mouth here, Ai.
No, senpai! [Weird observation to make? Maybe a little. But lots of things were weird about tonight, and Ai's long since shirked his overcoat of shame. One could argue he never really had an overcoat of shame to begin with. For his stutter and pout, Rin is rewarded with a soft laugh, hidden behind knuckles before Ai waves his hand as if to try and get the noise out of himself faster.] How to say it... It'd be like you seeing me in a hat. It isn't bad, it's just new.
[And he'll skip right over the fact he may have been openly ogling his former roommate, thanks. Throws an apologetic smile Rin's way before shuffling back into the heart of his apartment; he was still just buzzed enough to be a bit loose, but not far gone enough to recognize a boundary crossed.]
I pulled out the futon for you, but I don't mind taking it if you want the bed. [He looks back to Rin, though doesn't seem to be imploring him. Ai's apartment isn't huge, but if Rin wanted to get himself acclimated, Ai was happy to give him the time and space to do so.] And I know it's late, but there's water ready for tea too. Wasn't sure if you'd want to warm up or not.
[In truth, his over-preparation was directly correlated to him being familiar with Rin's occasional issues sleeping on nights like these. He wouldn't say as much out loud, but is cognizant of it nonetheless.]
[ Rin cocks his eyebrow waiting for the explanation, a little frown on his lips. ] I dunno', seems like you'd be cute in a hat. [ Meanwhile, Rin could admit he probably looked goofy, at least once he got passed the initial defensiveness. Wait, did he call Ai cute? No, he's pretty sure he said he'd look "sharp" in a hat. Yeah.
If it's an apologetic smile, Rin simply waves his hand with forgiveness. He understands Ai means no ill. Maybe some of the cajoling he'd get overseas had gotten to him. He should know Ai better. His lips twist and he shakes his head at the idea of taking Ai's bed. That's his own space after all, and he wasn't here to intrude. His eyes cast more thoroughly over the personal effects Ai kept.
He sighs, thinking, as he lifts to examine a figure. ] Pretty sure getting pissed at the station killed my buzz... But tea's probably a good idea. [ He's kidding himself if he thinks he's totally sober. He sets the figure down. How about those books? Time to judge Ai's reading taste into adulthood. ]
[Ai won't make a comment, but if Rin is eagle-eyed he may catch the way Ai's cheeks immediately flush a soft pink at his word choice. Rin's paid him lip service before, but never with that kind of vernacular, and it hits Ai somewhere that no amount of booze could get him to admit to readily.
Thankfully, the moment is passed and Rin's attention seems far more rapt on Ai's myriad knickknacks. Small flocked figurines ranging from normal dogs to bizarre humanoid creatures, lord knows how many framed posters of indie bands both Japanese and Western, a couple pieces of film memorabilia... And an unreasonable amount of books. All neatly organized by title, even if his bookshelves are splitting at the seams. Ai's titles range from non-fiction to history to trashy, raunchy erotica and everything in between. Of note are about four nondescript notebooks with no inscription on the spines - his older journals.
At Rin's cue Ai shuffles into his small kitchen where he pulls out two mugs, readies them with bags of tea, and pours the hot water he'd set earlier. He leans over on his countertop and looks to Rin from over the low partition wall, eyes trailing him lazily, the smile he wears easy-going.]
Come to think of it, we've never drank together. [Probably something to do with Rin having been abroad by the time Ai came of age for it.] Though I only have once before, with Sousuke-senpai. I can't say it's my favourite feeling in the world, but. [he doesn't think twice about letting the words spill from his mouth,] If there's anyone I'm happy to make a few mistakes with, it's you, Rin-senpai.
...
Oh! Here, your tea's ready. [and Rin better come fetch it before Ai tries to carry it to him.]
[ Not a whole lot of books he recognizes, except- ] huh... [ Actually, he knows this erotica. He’s read this erotic. S-so Ai is like that, too, huh? ...Actually, on second thought, better not to comment on it at all, he’s not opening that can of worms for the sake of his own dignity. ]
[ The journals catch his eye next, though he leaves them untouched. Even years later, he’s sure he remembers one of them laying on Ai’s desk, and the nights he would scrawl into it. They had that in common: he still has the journal Ai got him years ago, and more journals beside it since then. He’s struck with nostalgia and longing.
Satisfied with his perusal, Rin saunters to the opposite side of the partition, leading his elbows onto the top of it and folding his forearms under him. A funny half-smirk, half-smile tugs at his lips when Ai mentions “mistakes,” somehow understanding, yet he finds the sentiment stirs the butterflies in his stomach. Rin felt like he was the king of mistakes. ] Thank you, [ he whispers in English, but the drink is too hot for his taste still. He reaches over and plucks the bag out with his bare fingers to set on a small plate—over-steeped tea would be too bitter tonight. ]
Drinking age is way too late in Japan, [ he shakes his head. ] First time out with the team, they got me wasted on Bundy, said I couldn’t swim with Aussies if I didn’t drink like ‘em. We don't drink a lot, sports and all, but... gets crazy when they do.
[ He looks happy, thinking of the team in Australia, but the smile drops off, seeming pensive. He really didn’t come home all that often, did he? Ai’s birthday isn’t that far off from his own. He should have visited. ...No. That's a stupid thought to linger on. He was the middle of training for long course. He couldn’t have. At least he sent a “Happy Birthday,” but... ]
Well, guess we can knock drinking together off our bucket list.
[For better or worse, there is absolutely nothing subtle about the way bright sky blue eyes tear from Rin's gaze down to his lips the instant he starts speaking English, like a sleeper agent instinct had been suddenly recalled. And he's staring even still as Rin continues on about his drinking experience in Australia; it's only half-way through his recollection that Ai blinks his attention back up a few centimeters. Words finally settling in, Ai gives Rin a sympathetic smile.]
They have reputations for being party animals, don't they? They must bring out a completely different side of you. [And no, he doesn't mean to imply Rin would become a party animal either; rather, Ai's mental image of his senior under those conditions is more akin to an exasperated mother. Or perhaps a guest who has accidentally fallen into a zoo enclosure. The thoughts both make Ai smile in a stupid way that bisects his face and lifts all the way up to his ears.
He senses it - for a moment, Rin was far away. Another one of his instincts that apparently never quite shut off, that intuition for where Rin's head is at most given moments. Ai doesn't comment on it though, just wonders passively what must've crossed his mind.
There's something else, though. He's also leaning on the partition, unintentionally mirroring Rin's posture, and lazily carries his eyes from his tea back up to Rin's.]
We have a bucket list. [A half-observation, half-query. A lifts his mug up toward his lips,] What else is on it, senpai?
[ Rin laughs, wryly. ] "What else?" It’s not really that deep. [ Not that dying too young wasn’t completely out of his mind, simply that it wasn’t where he was tonight. The thought that captured him still had its hold, and he’s unfortunately quiet as he thinks. There’s…. merit in the observation, however. ] Tch, but I’m not back in Japan all that long either. Guess I ought to think about what I’m doing before I go back. [ He has about a month, and Ai would know that.
What did he want here that wasn’t in Australia? At least one thing came to mind that was near at hand. He glances at Ai, whose eyes had scarcely turned from him, filled with precious concern and admiration. His chest tightens. He turns his gaze and pretends there’s a scratch on his neck, growling. ] I-- I’m sure I’ll think of something. [ He pulls away from the counter and paces back into the living room. He feels stupid with frustration, questioning how sound his choice was to visit Ai. Time alone with him in his home was so, so much different than their frequent texts.
Just a month. That’s not really fair to him. He sighs. ]
Uh, so, what about you? University and all... [ He asks, his back still turned from Ai, feigning renewed interest in the space. His voice sounds as stilted as he feels, anxious to turn the discussion from himself. ]
[Ai was used to this. And if his persistent trust in Rin had run any weaker, he may have grown over-worried at the sight of Rin suddenly beside himself, unable to look him in the eye. But if there is any one thing he has learned about enduring Rin's sometimes unreadable moods, it's that they're almost always facing inward, and almost always just need a bit of patience. Ai doesn't take it personally-- even if he does suddenly miss the bright reds of Rin's eyes.
He does passively wonder what he said or asked that had Rin turning on his heel, but knows it's no good to ruminate. Not that Rin can see it, but Ai smiles reassuringly, and maybe just a touch bashfully,]
You made it sound like we shared one. [A bucket list, he means. A silly notion, given Rin's propensity to go where his career takes him, but. Ai could dream. Rin sees a month as an uncomfortable; Ai sees it as thirty days to make as many memories as possible.
He grants Rin the space he clearly needs, but. Ai suddenly doesn't have words for the instinct that nearly has him springing from where he's currently leaning against the countertop, and nearly had him pressed to Rin's back. It's Ai's turn to clear his throat and stiffen a little.]
Ah, that's. [He organizes his thoughts to get his tongue in working order.] ... Maybe coming from me it seems like too much, but I want to do all I can to climb higher in the swimming world. [In Rin's absence, he's made strides. Before graduating Samezuka he left in his wake not one but two school records, and qualifying times strong enough for the All-Japan.] I might finally reach out to my uncle about training me properly.
[The pause that follows is long and pregnant and tense. Not for stalling; if Rin looked back, he'd see Ai is thinking. Choosing his words very very carefully.]
From the beginning, all I've wanted is to stand on the starting block next to you proudly. So I'll keep doing everything I can to make that happen.
[He's maybe a touch too quick to clear his throat, sit up a bit straighter, and awkwardly smooth his thumbs over the heated ceramic of his mug.] I'll probably have to quit my part-time job, but that's alright.
[ He realizes he feels hot with embarrassment, flustered before and now feeling decidedly uncool and weird. A bucket list… together…. He’s not sure how he feels about it. He also forgot his tea over there. Whether he wants to or not (he wants to) he’ll have to head back over, but if he wastes too much time, well… He’s sure he’d just look like a douche. He didn’t want to pull away; he would never, but certainly he feared the heat at his core.
At the mention of Ai’s uncle, Rin throws a look, but remains quiet. That quiet wasn’t so different than his own. He lets it hang in the air, his gaze locked onto Ai. He’s cute like this. Had so little changed over these years? Ai’s heart, his determination… Rin shifts his footing and walks back toward the kitchen, passing the partition and entering as he hears a muttering about a job, but he’ll worry about that in a bit.
Confidentially, he leans into the counter top near Ai, unintentionally shrinking his height. ]
Two school records, Ai. A slouch doesn’t pull that off. You’ve got plenty to be proud of just as you are, than trying to feel worthy beside me.
[ His hand starts to move, then hesitates—the Rin Maneuver already foretold—thinking how long it had been since he could actually do this. He ruffles Ai’s hair and grins. ] You’d probably beat my ass in breast, anyway.
[So much he wants to contest. It wasn't about value, it was about pride. It was about entering the same world Rin could step into so confidently. It was about trying to carve a space for himself and to be able to say he did so through nothing but raw hard work.
And maybe a small part of him that did want to earn Rin's gaze, but. That was different.
-- So much to contest, and yet at most all he can manage is a,] That's not-- [before his skull is gently rattling under a touch Ai didn't realize he'd missed so much.
Rin's propensity to just leave his palm there preemptively has Ai's cheeks kissing a soft pink, but he continues on as if that isn't the case, because bowing to the obvious would maybe toe a bit too close to the current line they both seem eager to ignore. If Rin looks, he might even see Ai bite back a titter before he gets his words out,] Of course I would, senpai. You probably haven't done a breast stroke since middle school.
[Intuition always whet, he wordlessly slides Rin's mug closer to where Rin is now stationed right beside him.
And continues the thought of his that had been waylaid, voice gentle,] The places you've gone... I want to climb those heights, too. That's all. [and for a moment levels Rin with a simper,] Which means shifting some priorities around. [Like university and his part-time job, going back to Rin's initial query.]
[ Quietly, Rin nods as he listens, giving Ai a smile. Crazy, really, how far he’s come along. The two of them, in different ways, better for having met each other. ] When you do get there, you know I’ll be there. [ His smile hangs, warmed as ever by Ai’s determination.
He casts his gaze down, a chuckle as well. ] Getting your uncle to coach you, though, huh? Wonder if you’ll have the muscles to impress him. That guy’s fickle.
Can’t say I get his taste that well, [ he finally grabs his drink and waves the drink under his nose; the pleasant aroma of white tea at night takes his mind away for a moment, ] Think I’d say they’re perfect, [ he mutters before he sips the drink. ]
Might even mean we train together, sooner or later.
[Had he been sipping his tea, he'd have done a double take. Instead, he's gawking at Rin with that candid delivery, Ai's expression owlish and his blink is too. He'd fluster right from his ears down to his clavicle if he didn't have mental images of his own uncle trailing right behind Rin's rather straight forward observation.
Suddenly, Ai simpers, rueful and almost resigned.]
No way this is how you feel when I say something like that... Is it payback? [For all the times he had proudly and flagrantly called Rin's body perfect, to his face and otherwise. He pats his cheeks twice, and shakes his head.] And anyway, I can't build muscle the same way you can... Even at my strongest, I'm a bit more lean...
[And at first when he turns to look at Rin, gaze voracious and not subtle, it is with dissecting intent. But then his eyes kind of just-- get lost taking him in. Time was a funny thing; Rin really hadn't changed that much since they'd last seen each other, yet all the same Ai was drawn to him like he'd manifested straight out of one of his dreams. He's so enraptured he doesn't hear Rin speak again for a second, blinking his attention back up to his eyes after a too-long pause.]
That. [His smile is so. Stupidly big.] That'd make me happy, if we could. I really...
[ He barely realizes what he said, and seeing Ai huge eyes has him blushing in confusion. ] Huh? Th-that look... [ is the best he can get out, unsure what the matter was. Payback? Was what he said so outrageous?
Oh! He sputters, glancing defensively to aside, ] Mikhails's a weirdo, who knows. [ He probably could have articulated himself better to anyone else, under damn near the exact same circumstances, but he's caught otherwise speechless. What a cute reaction. Awkwardly and subtly as he can, he rubs over his heart, wishing the thunder would settle. He can hardly look that sweet expression straight on. ]
I... [ miss it, too, but his brain slams shut. ] Yeah, [ he nods. He misses it terribly. Australia was everything he wanted to chase his dreams, but when he needed something most, it lacked. What is it... c'est la vie. Seems like this keeps happening over and over to him.
He's quiet, again, thinking before he speaks, ] Yeah, uh... Month's not really enough time. [ He's not sure what he's saying suddenly. ] Or... ah... Y'know.
[He really wasn't used to being appraised, not so directly, and least of all from Rin. He could handle comments about his swimming, his academics, his mess-- simply put, Rin saying something that edges on personal had Ai out of his wits. Not only was it foreign, but it registered somewhere in his psyche that was overwhelmingly vulnerable at best, and impressionable at worst.
His eyes flit to the next natural movement, which is Rin's hand grasping at his chest. Ai had his composure, even if he had appeared owlish for a moment, but all at once, it is as if there is a lump in his throat he cannot swallow down, and a heat he cannot keep from consistently trying to lick at his cheeks.
Month's not enough time. It'd be nice... Together.
There is something about Rin's disposition in that moment-- uncharacteristically disarmed, unusually... Ai wouldn't say shy, but. The only times he can recall seeing Rin so unsure of the words coming out of his mouth were around his other friends. In these tense moments, it wasn't uncommon for their scripts to be flipped. Rin beside himself, and Ai boldly crossing boundaries to get his points across. Somehow, right now was no different.
Between them Rin was usually the more handsy one, but Ai's senses overwhelm him to the point of breaking ice; he leans across the small distance between them, not so much resting his head on Rin's shoulder as he is pressing his face against his nape. At this proximity, Rin can no doubt feel the heat radiating from his skin... And can also likely feel the way Ai is suddenly smiling, as if Rin didn't just take an arrow straight to his chest.]
That's a month to make memories, senpai. And things don't end just because you have to go away for a little while... This much we're used to already, right? [Ai tilts his head up, just enough to catch the corner of Rin's gaze.] But.
If I was able to give you something to think on fondly when you fly back to Australia, I'd be happy.
[ Whatever he was saying, or trying not to say, clearly his heart sung louder. Ai reads every beat of his heart effortlessly. He barely moves as Ai closes the space, except to turn slightly and let him in. He’s still lost in his thoughts. Reflections of the night market flash before him: stolen glances, thoughtless doting, sliding his way in to be closer to Ai. No single text brought him more glee than Ai’s confirmation "I’ll be there"as he packed his bags for Japan.
And now… How many times had he felt another man, skin to skin, pressed up against him and felt nothing like this? Yet, with only as much as the layer of Ai’s shirt between them, a furnace blazes at his core. He feels the air of Ai’s voice close to his skin as he speaks.
He rests his head against Ai’s, leaning as much into him as the other had to start. The exhale of his breath shakes, making his nerves so, painfully obvious. A month of memories, huh? Less, really; he still has so much to catch up on before goes. Is it more selfish to deny them both, or to take what he wants?
His fingers twitch. He can’t find words at all within himself, but feels them so, so plainly. It’s just a small distance, isn’t it? To reach across and feel Ai’s knuckles with his fingertips. To hold his hand. He thinks: maybe it doesn’t matter as much, what I want. Thoughts become actions, reaching out to touch Ai’s hand; his own naturally dry after years of chlorine soaking into his skin. ]
[He will replay this moment in his head, over and over, likely for years to come. The small victory of choosing to take up space, deliberately be a nuisance, and be anything other than strictly orderly with his former roommate - and for it he's rewarded in spades. Ai can't yet deduce what all is going through Rin's head, and for once finds it incredibly hard to guess, but his intuition led him correctly to if I do this much, I won't drive him away and so Ai can reasonably surmise it's the same jumbled, heated mess as his own current stream of consciousness.
Rin's hand is unreasonably warm, much as his breath feels so unreasonably close. It is as if all at once that undercurrent of electricity he had gleefully ignored and rationalized as anything else all damn day was presently screaming for attention.
It leads him to two truths. One: they were both on the same page, even if Ai can't currently decipher its texts. And two: Rin was stuck in his head.
Ai strokes his thumb against the blanket warmth of Rin's hand; a soothing, almost reassuring gesture, meant as much for Rin as it is Ai himself. And his voice is small; as if any other ghosts weren't allowed to listen to him, only Rin. Feels as though he has to temper his words, lest his latent fluster get the best of him.]
It isn't often I'm left guessing what's going through your head, senpai. [It comes in a small titter, eyes rapt on where Rin's held his hand. Ai presses his temple further against Rin's neck. Softer still,]
[ If anything, the moment Ai took his hand, the tension breaks. Peace holds him. He could relax into this instant forever, awash with pleasant warmth. He closes his eyes and rests into him, thinking about brushes of his thumb.
He snorts, laughs. Why is he so nervous? ] You aren’t? [ He chortles, squeezing Ai’s hand before finding his words: ] Bet a pretty guy like you gets asked out all the time.
[ Maybe it was unfair to tease Ai to avoid the implications of the question, but he’s just as sure that any step toward that answer would be a step back into his rut. Without words, they’d already both agreed that right here, right now, felt right. ]
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Date: 2025-08-06 09:14 pm (UTC)There was little he could do to prepare for the warmth that threatened to bloom in his chest all over again, a summer's absence having left it colder.
One thing led to another, and the last train left well ahead of them all, and before Ai knows it it's nearly one AM and he is heading back to his apartment. The sudden onset of midnight rain only made that choice much more obvious, revelry be damned.]
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Date: 2025-08-07 11:23 pm (UTC)His first choice - to message Ai - slipped to his third, flustered and frustrated, nearly texting Makoto to plead for help, but that guy lived even further off and... Ugh, just stop being a baby, dude. ]
Hey, I fucked up my train schedule...
[ Yet he waffles anyway, struggling for minutes to send out his next text. ] Mind if I crash at yours? [ He didn't anticipate a no, and he sort of knew the direction already. If anything, he'd be closer to a hotel even if the answer was no. Walking alone at midnight in the Tokyo suburbs wouldn't be so bad. Ai wasn't so far off; maybe twenty minutes to walk. He wonders what he should say or do.... Alone with Ai shouldn't be a big deal. It was easy enough while they were all together, to bathe in the elation of friendship and revelry, gulping down sake and eating fish like seals for fun... Just the two of them, though... his mind circles.
Eventually, the hum of crowd became quiet and the lights of advertisement faded behind him, closing in on the place Ai lived. He clicked his teeth as he approached the gate to the apartment complex. Locked out. ]
Here. [ He glanced up as he hits send, wondering which light was Ai's home. Rain falls into his eye and he groans to rub it out. ] Goddamnit. [ At least his timing was good. ]
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Date: 2025-08-07 11:39 pm (UTC)The messages, though.
Well, it's no big deal, right? They've roomed together before, and if they look past Ai's awful cluttering habits of the time, he and Rin managed to coexist pretty damn peacefully. Ai would even wager as far as to say he was proud of having been able to handle such a basket case of a human with grace, and come out the other end of it with one of the strongest friendships he's maintained for years. So then. Why is he gawking at his phone?]
Absolutely! Do you need my address? It's... [It's typed in full and sent to Rin, and once he has some level of certainty Rin's headed his way, Ai suddenly moves through his studio apartment like a cyclone. A feat, given he still has a small buzz; some odds and ends were picked up, a futon and a set of sheets were pulled out, and he fills his kettle with water. All just in time to hear his phone buzz again.
He doesn't reply; instead, toes on his shoes and glides out of his apartment and down the steps to the front foot in record speed, sky blue eyes landing upon Rin and just--]
Rin-senpai! [he chimes, trying to be heard over the rainfall. Ai scurries out from the awning of the stairwell in order to manually unlock the gate, not even thinking twice about taking hold of Rin's wrist to drag him inside the property line.] Quick, come on! You're sopping wet!
[Ai relinquishes Rin's wrist and trusts him to follow as Ai bounds up the stairs of the apartment complex, coming to the second floor; he walks to his front door, having left it unlocked in his retrieval of his former roommate. Ai pushes the door open, stepping aside to let Rin enter first.
He'd seen him only an hour ago, and yet all the same, Ai looks upon Rin like he's made of magic.]
You said your train didn't come? Senpai, it's past midnight. [There's a levity to his voice, entering behind Rin and closing the door.] You must be freezing...
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Date: 2025-08-08 04:46 am (UTC)Uh, fuck me... [ he curses under his breath, at first holding his arms above his sides to see how badly soaked he was. He may as well pull off his jacket and hat, he thinks and acts, following after Ai. His eyes look up and down the young man from behind, pondering his attire, wondering how much he had interrupted Ai's bedtime routine. It’s late, after all, even according to his slow watch.
He also notices that Ai doesn’t unlock his door when they approach and clicks his teeth. ] Eh, even an airhead shouldn’t be so forgetful about locking his door, [ he chides. He’s just worried for his friend, and enters the apartment without concern.
Nothing about the space surprises him, he’s so used to the way Ai was and is. Disorganized yet thoughtful. He leans against the wall to pull his tennis shoes off immediately and grimaces. ] Yeah, yeah, I know. [ he shakes his head and groans out a sigh, his frustration with himself clearly unabated. He’ll explain himself, but until then-- ]
I just need this shit to dry off, [ he says, glancing past his hair to Ai. He has such pretty blue eyes. Rin tears his gaze away. ] Bathroom? [ Presuming Ai points him in the right direction, Rin heads that way. ]
Yeah, I dunno’ what the hell I was thinking. I had my watch set wrong after I got back. [ He moves into the bathroom, leaving the door open if Ai does choose to follow. Hat on hook, jacket over the tub. Unabashedly, he pulls his shirt away and throws it over the rim of the tub too, before very quickly debating just how soaked his pants are.
...Pretty soaked. He sighs. At this point, it would just be weirder if he didn’t. ] Uh, Ai... Do you have, like... extra pants?
[ One way or another, belt is coming undone and the trousers are getting lost! ]
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Date: 2025-08-08 02:07 pm (UTC)Rin would see that Ai's space is organized yet definitely well loved. A lot of knickknacks, posters, and lord knows how many bookshelves lining from the living room to the designated sleeping space he's set closer to the rear of the studio. Notably no stacks of books on the ground, though; you can sleep easy, Rin.
He points and even leads Rin toward his bathroom, and-- sorry Rin, but Ai titters and simpers a bit at the explanation given for what happened.]
It's only an hour difference, right? Ahh, well, this late at night it's bound to be a bigger problem. [Is it a little weird to be leaning against the ingress and effectively watching Rin strip down? Maybe. Not even in first year was Ai this forward, usually paying Rin his privacy and turning his back if they were both getting changed at the same time. His countenance doesn't reflect anything devious or untoward, though; rather, Ai looks a little taken. And a little nostalgic. This was hardly the first time he or Rin had gotten caught in a rain storm, and hardly the first time he or Rin helped each other out after slogging back to wherever they called home to deal with it.
To Rin's more practical question, Ai blinks.]
Ah, um--! Let me go check! [The gentle clanging of Rin's buckle coming loose is Ai's cue to hightail it out of there, rounding to where his closet is. Ai was never quite blessed with the same ability to pack on muscles in perpetuity like many of his former teammates, and Rin has about an inch or so on him, so it's likely no clothes would be a perfect fit. He finds some he thinks might not be totally offensive and pads back toward the bathroom, leaning against the doorway with one hand and passing off the dry clothes with the other.]
Senpai, here. [The way he's staring at Rin is definitely just taking his measure and nothing else. Rin would find in his hands a pair of black shorts, not unlike what Ai's currently wearing, and normal sleep pants.] The shorts will likely fit your waist better, they're a little loose on me. The pants might be tighter... [Ai's suddenly ruffling up his own hair, as if having contemplated something] It's easier to see now, [that Rin is down to skivvies and they aren't inundated with partygoing,] you've definitely gotten stronger since the last time you visited.
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Date: 2025-08-08 08:40 pm (UTC)Bending over to step into the shorts, the muscles on his back flex, revealing his affection for butterfly to any skilled swimmer. Ai’s observation earns a hissed laugh: ] Tch, can’t say I didn’t bust my ass to get here. [ He straightens up, flexing his shoulders back with a confident grin. He’d be hard-pressed to admit plainly he enjoyed Ai’s compliments, but it doesn’t hide itself well here, either.
Resting his hand on his hip, tilts his head. ] Surprised you notice any difference. Hasn’t been that long.
[ Unless it has? He lives with this body every day after all, but he knew his numbers. Ai was right. Fresh from overseas, his body is in top form. ]
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Date: 2025-08-08 08:51 pm (UTC)He does Rin the favour of turning away when he finally drops his pants, but looks back just in time to catch his back muscles flexing. Ai wonders how much of it is on purpose, and it has a fond smile kissing his lips.]
No, but it's easy to tell that your training in Australia is different from what you were doing in Samezuka. [Ai tilts his head, considering his own words. Pauses. Then grins, just a smidge too big, with eyebrows knit right in the center] Well, I got used to seeing you every day, and then you were gone. I guess it only stands to reason I'd notice the little things more now than before.
[Conversations about how much staring is too much notwithstanding, Ai finally leans off the bathroom wall and steps into the hallway. Pauses to give Rin a once-over, and catches himself biting his bottom lip, holding back a laugh.]
Ah, that's new too. [He gestures vaguely with his hand,] I've never seen your legs out before.
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Date: 2025-08-09 03:14 am (UTC)[ He starts to follow Ai out of the room, but hesitates and frowns. That lip bite... he doesn’t miss it, but he is nevertheless distracted by the gesture, following its path and looking down. ] Heh?
[ His LEGS? ] Well, tch’yeah, w-what the hell do you think is under my pants, stilts?! [ Is Ai just trying to get his goat? I mean, cause it worked. He pouts as he follows Ai finally. ] Tryin' not to look a gift horse in the mouth here, Ai.
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Date: 2025-08-09 03:26 am (UTC)[And he'll skip right over the fact he may have been openly ogling his former roommate, thanks. Throws an apologetic smile Rin's way before shuffling back into the heart of his apartment; he was still just buzzed enough to be a bit loose, but not far gone enough to recognize a boundary crossed.]
I pulled out the futon for you, but I don't mind taking it if you want the bed. [He looks back to Rin, though doesn't seem to be imploring him. Ai's apartment isn't huge, but if Rin wanted to get himself acclimated, Ai was happy to give him the time and space to do so.] And I know it's late, but there's water ready for tea too. Wasn't sure if you'd want to warm up or not.
[In truth, his over-preparation was directly correlated to him being familiar with Rin's occasional issues sleeping on nights like these. He wouldn't say as much out loud, but is cognizant of it nonetheless.]
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Date: 2025-08-09 05:21 am (UTC)If it's an apologetic smile, Rin simply waves his hand with forgiveness. He understands Ai means no ill. Maybe some of the cajoling he'd get overseas had gotten to him. He should know Ai better. His lips twist and he shakes his head at the idea of taking Ai's bed. That's his own space after all, and he wasn't here to intrude. His eyes cast more thoroughly over the personal effects Ai kept.
He sighs, thinking, as he lifts to examine a figure. ] Pretty sure getting pissed at the station killed my buzz... But tea's probably a good idea. [ He's kidding himself if he thinks he's totally sober. He sets the figure down. How about those books? Time to judge Ai's reading taste into adulthood. ]
apologies if this fires twice, I'm on underground train wifi
Date: 2025-08-09 02:25 pm (UTC)Thankfully, the moment is passed and Rin's attention seems far more rapt on Ai's myriad knickknacks. Small flocked figurines ranging from normal dogs to bizarre humanoid creatures, lord knows how many framed posters of indie bands both Japanese and Western, a couple pieces of film memorabilia... And an unreasonable amount of books. All neatly organized by title, even if his bookshelves are splitting at the seams. Ai's titles range from non-fiction to history to trashy, raunchy erotica and everything in between. Of note are about four nondescript notebooks with no inscription on the spines - his older journals.
At Rin's cue Ai shuffles into his small kitchen where he pulls out two mugs, readies them with bags of tea, and pours the hot water he'd set earlier. He leans over on his countertop and looks to Rin from over the low partition wall, eyes trailing him lazily, the smile he wears easy-going.]
Come to think of it, we've never drank together. [Probably something to do with Rin having been abroad by the time Ai came of age for it.] Though I only have once before, with Sousuke-senpai. I can't say it's my favourite feeling in the world, but. [he doesn't think twice about letting the words spill from his mouth,] If there's anyone I'm happy to make a few mistakes with, it's you, Rin-senpai.
...
Oh! Here, your tea's ready. [and Rin better come fetch it before Ai tries to carry it to him.]
1/2 <3
Date: 2025-08-09 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-08-09 05:35 pm (UTC)Satisfied with his perusal, Rin saunters to the opposite side of the partition, leading his elbows onto the top of it and folding his forearms under him. A funny half-smirk, half-smile tugs at his lips when Ai mentions “mistakes,” somehow understanding, yet he finds the sentiment stirs the butterflies in his stomach. Rin felt like he was the king of mistakes. ] Thank you, [ he whispers in English, but the drink is too hot for his taste still. He reaches over and plucks the bag out with his bare fingers to set on a small plate—over-steeped tea would be too bitter tonight. ]
Drinking age is way too late in Japan, [ he shakes his head. ] First time out with the team, they got me wasted on Bundy, said I couldn’t swim with Aussies if I didn’t drink like ‘em. We don't drink a lot, sports and all, but... gets crazy when they do.
[ He looks happy, thinking of the team in Australia, but the smile drops off, seeming pensive. He really didn’t come home all that often, did he? Ai’s birthday isn’t that far off from his own. He should have visited. ...No. That's a stupid thought to linger on. He was the middle of training for long course. He couldn’t have. At least he sent a “Happy Birthday,” but... ]
Well, guess we can knock drinking together off our bucket list.
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Date: 2025-08-09 08:03 pm (UTC)They have reputations for being party animals, don't they? They must bring out a completely different side of you. [And no, he doesn't mean to imply Rin would become a party animal either; rather, Ai's mental image of his senior under those conditions is more akin to an exasperated mother. Or perhaps a guest who has accidentally fallen into a zoo enclosure. The thoughts both make Ai smile in a stupid way that bisects his face and lifts all the way up to his ears.
He senses it - for a moment, Rin was far away. Another one of his instincts that apparently never quite shut off, that intuition for where Rin's head is at most given moments. Ai doesn't comment on it though, just wonders passively what must've crossed his mind.
There's something else, though. He's also leaning on the partition, unintentionally mirroring Rin's posture, and lazily carries his eyes from his tea back up to Rin's.]
We have a bucket list. [A half-observation, half-query. A lifts his mug up toward his lips,] What else is on it, senpai?
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Date: 2025-08-13 08:30 pm (UTC)What did he want here that wasn’t in Australia? At least one thing came to mind that was near at hand. He glances at Ai, whose eyes had scarcely turned from him, filled with precious concern and admiration. His chest tightens. He turns his gaze and pretends there’s a scratch on his neck, growling. ] I-- I’m sure I’ll think of something. [ He pulls away from the counter and paces back into the living room. He feels stupid with frustration, questioning how sound his choice was to visit Ai. Time alone with him in his home was so, so much different than their frequent texts.
Just a month. That’s not really fair to him. He sighs. ]
Uh, so, what about you? University and all... [ He asks, his back still turned from Ai, feigning renewed interest in the space. His voice sounds as stilted as he feels, anxious to turn the discussion from himself. ]
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Date: 2025-08-13 08:58 pm (UTC)He does passively wonder what he said or asked that had Rin turning on his heel, but knows it's no good to ruminate. Not that Rin can see it, but Ai smiles reassuringly, and maybe just a touch bashfully,]
You made it sound like we shared one. [A bucket list, he means. A silly notion, given Rin's propensity to go where his career takes him, but. Ai could dream. Rin sees a month as an uncomfortable; Ai sees it as thirty days to make as many memories as possible.
He grants Rin the space he clearly needs, but. Ai suddenly doesn't have words for the instinct that nearly has him springing from where he's currently leaning against the countertop, and nearly had him pressed to Rin's back. It's Ai's turn to clear his throat and stiffen a little.]
Ah, that's. [He organizes his thoughts to get his tongue in working order.] ... Maybe coming from me it seems like too much, but I want to do all I can to climb higher in the swimming world. [In Rin's absence, he's made strides. Before graduating Samezuka he left in his wake not one but two school records, and qualifying times strong enough for the All-Japan.] I might finally reach out to my uncle about training me properly.
[The pause that follows is long and pregnant and tense. Not for stalling; if Rin looked back, he'd see Ai is thinking. Choosing his words very very carefully.]
From the beginning, all I've wanted is to stand on the starting block next to you proudly. So I'll keep doing everything I can to make that happen.
[He's maybe a touch too quick to clear his throat, sit up a bit straighter, and awkwardly smooth his thumbs over the heated ceramic of his mug.] I'll probably have to quit my part-time job, but that's alright.
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Date: 2025-08-15 04:25 am (UTC)At the mention of Ai’s uncle, Rin throws a look, but remains quiet. That quiet wasn’t so different than his own. He lets it hang in the air, his gaze locked onto Ai. He’s cute like this. Had so little changed over these years? Ai’s heart, his determination… Rin shifts his footing and walks back toward the kitchen, passing the partition and entering as he hears a muttering about a job, but he’ll worry about that in a bit.
Confidentially, he leans into the counter top near Ai, unintentionally shrinking his height. ]
Two school records, Ai. A slouch doesn’t pull that off. You’ve got plenty to be proud of just as you are, than trying to feel worthy beside me.
[ His hand starts to move, then hesitates—the Rin Maneuver already foretold—thinking how long it had been since he could actually do this. He ruffles Ai’s hair and grins. ] You’d probably beat my ass in breast, anyway.
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Date: 2025-08-15 04:45 am (UTC)And maybe a small part of him that did want to earn Rin's gaze, but. That was different.
-- So much to contest, and yet at most all he can manage is a,] That's not-- [before his skull is gently rattling under a touch Ai didn't realize he'd missed so much.
Rin's propensity to just leave his palm there preemptively has Ai's cheeks kissing a soft pink, but he continues on as if that isn't the case, because bowing to the obvious would maybe toe a bit too close to the current line they both seem eager to ignore. If Rin looks, he might even see Ai bite back a titter before he gets his words out,] Of course I would, senpai. You probably haven't done a breast stroke since middle school.
[Intuition always whet, he wordlessly slides Rin's mug closer to where Rin is now stationed right beside him.
And continues the thought of his that had been waylaid, voice gentle,] The places you've gone... I want to climb those heights, too. That's all. [and for a moment levels Rin with a simper,] Which means shifting some priorities around. [Like university and his part-time job, going back to Rin's initial query.]
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Date: 2025-08-19 03:50 am (UTC)He casts his gaze down, a chuckle as well. ] Getting your uncle to coach you, though, huh? Wonder if you’ll have the muscles to impress him. That guy’s fickle.
Can’t say I get his taste that well, [ he finally grabs his drink and waves the drink under his nose; the pleasant aroma of white tea at night takes his mind away for a moment, ] Think I’d say they’re perfect, [ he mutters before he sips the drink. ]
Might even mean we train together, sooner or later.
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Date: 2025-08-19 04:04 am (UTC)[Had he been sipping his tea, he'd have done a double take. Instead, he's gawking at Rin with that candid delivery, Ai's expression owlish and his blink is too. He'd fluster right from his ears down to his clavicle if he didn't have mental images of his own uncle trailing right behind Rin's rather straight forward observation.
Suddenly, Ai simpers, rueful and almost resigned.]
No way this is how you feel when I say something like that... Is it payback? [For all the times he had proudly and flagrantly called Rin's body perfect, to his face and otherwise. He pats his cheeks twice, and shakes his head.] And anyway, I can't build muscle the same way you can... Even at my strongest, I'm a bit more lean...
[And at first when he turns to look at Rin, gaze voracious and not subtle, it is with dissecting intent. But then his eyes kind of just-- get lost taking him in. Time was a funny thing; Rin really hadn't changed that much since they'd last seen each other, yet all the same Ai was drawn to him like he'd manifested straight out of one of his dreams. He's so enraptured he doesn't hear Rin speak again for a second, blinking his attention back up to his eyes after a too-long pause.]
That. [His smile is so. Stupidly big.] That'd make me happy, if we could. I really...
... Really miss spending time with you.
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Date: 2025-08-19 05:50 am (UTC)Oh! He sputters, glancing defensively to aside, ] Mikhails's a weirdo, who knows. [ He probably could have articulated himself better to anyone else, under damn near the exact same circumstances, but he's caught otherwise speechless. What a cute reaction. Awkwardly and subtly as he can, he rubs over his heart, wishing the thunder would settle. He can hardly look that sweet expression straight on. ]
I... [ miss it, too, but his brain slams shut. ] Yeah, [ he nods. He misses it terribly. Australia was everything he wanted to chase his dreams, but when he needed something most, it lacked. What is it... c'est la vie. Seems like this keeps happening over and over to him.
He's quiet, again, thinking before he speaks, ] Yeah, uh... Month's not really enough time. [ He's not sure what he's saying suddenly. ] Or... ah... Y'know.
'D be nice... Together.
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Date: 2025-08-19 02:03 pm (UTC)His eyes flit to the next natural movement, which is Rin's hand grasping at his chest. Ai had his composure, even if he had appeared owlish for a moment, but all at once, it is as if there is a lump in his throat he cannot swallow down, and a heat he cannot keep from consistently trying to lick at his cheeks.
Month's not enough time. It'd be nice... Together.
There is something about Rin's disposition in that moment-- uncharacteristically disarmed, unusually... Ai wouldn't say shy, but. The only times he can recall seeing Rin so unsure of the words coming out of his mouth were around his other friends. In these tense moments, it wasn't uncommon for their scripts to be flipped. Rin beside himself, and Ai boldly crossing boundaries to get his points across. Somehow, right now was no different.
Between them Rin was usually the more handsy one, but Ai's senses overwhelm him to the point of breaking ice; he leans across the small distance between them, not so much resting his head on Rin's shoulder as he is pressing his face against his nape. At this proximity, Rin can no doubt feel the heat radiating from his skin... And can also likely feel the way Ai is suddenly smiling, as if Rin didn't just take an arrow straight to his chest.]
That's a month to make memories, senpai. And things don't end just because you have to go away for a little while... This much we're used to already, right? [Ai tilts his head up, just enough to catch the corner of Rin's gaze.] But.
If I was able to give you something to think on fondly when you fly back to Australia, I'd be happy.
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Date: 2025-08-19 06:57 pm (UTC)And now… How many times had he felt another man, skin to skin, pressed up against him and felt nothing like this? Yet, with only as much as the layer of Ai’s shirt between them, a furnace blazes at his core. He feels the air of Ai’s voice close to his skin as he speaks.
He rests his head against Ai’s, leaning as much into him as the other had to start. The exhale of his breath shakes, making his nerves so, painfully obvious. A month of memories, huh? Less, really; he still has so much to catch up on before goes. Is it more selfish to deny them both, or to take what he wants?
His fingers twitch. He can’t find words at all within himself, but feels them so, so plainly. It’s just a small distance, isn’t it? To reach across and feel Ai’s knuckles with his fingertips. To hold his hand. He thinks: maybe it doesn’t matter as much, what I want. Thoughts become actions, reaching out to touch Ai’s hand; his own naturally dry after years of chlorine soaking into his skin. ]
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Date: 2025-08-19 07:19 pm (UTC)Rin's hand is unreasonably warm, much as his breath feels so unreasonably close. It is as if all at once that undercurrent of electricity he had gleefully ignored and rationalized as anything else all damn day was presently screaming for attention.
It leads him to two truths. One: they were both on the same page, even if Ai can't currently decipher its texts. And two: Rin was stuck in his head.
Ai strokes his thumb against the blanket warmth of Rin's hand; a soothing, almost reassuring gesture, meant as much for Rin as it is Ai himself. And his voice is small; as if any other ghosts weren't allowed to listen to him, only Rin. Feels as though he has to temper his words, lest his latent fluster get the best of him.]
It isn't often I'm left guessing what's going through your head, senpai. [It comes in a small titter, eyes rapt on where Rin's held his hand. Ai presses his temple further against Rin's neck. Softer still,]
Why are you so nervous?
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Date: 2025-08-19 10:10 pm (UTC)He snorts, laughs. Why is he so nervous? ] You aren’t? [ He chortles, squeezing Ai’s hand before finding his words: ] Bet a pretty guy like you gets asked out all the time.
[ Maybe it was unfair to tease Ai to avoid the implications of the question, but he’s just as sure that any step toward that answer would be a step back into his rut. Without words, they’d already both agreed that right here, right now, felt right. ]