[Ai had all of himself to give, and that had been a universal truth from the start. And with the way Rin was working him up, slow and yet intentional, Ai was ready to also give him his apartment and his dog and his athletic stipend, too. There is nothing, nothing quite like feeling Rin's palm work against him, steady and confident; Ai moans softly feeling him thumb his slit, and Rin can likely feel the twitch his arousal gives at the feeling.
And then the low keen he lets out when Rin shoves the blanket off and begins to move could almost be interpreted as a whine, because for a moment he thought Rin was getting up. And he was-- just. In the best possible way. The moment Rin's straddling his lap, Ai's hands are on his thighs, eagerly roaming over the expanse of his pale skin; tracing up the contour of his body. Down to his waist. One hand ghosts over Rin's where it holds both of their hardened cocks, and Ai has to resist the urge to buck his hips up.
Sky blue eyes catch deep crimson, and despite himself, Ai grins something wicked.]
This is an incredible view. You really are spoiling me...
[All impeccable musculature and cocky attitude... Never mind the visual of Rin holding the both of them. Ai's suddenly chewing his bottom lip, turning his torso over juuust a little bit to get more reach from his arm-- his fingers paw uselessly at his beside drawer until he finally catches on the handle and pulls it open. Then rummages around its contents before finding a small vial; Ai procures it, shuts the drawer with the side of his palm, and tosses it beside Rin's knee.
Because yes of course he has at least two of those lying around, and who doesn't like a smooth glide?]
[ Wicked as that look may be, Rin’s heart has grown soft under the affection of roaming hands. All of it wanting for Rin. Sweetness pours over him as Ai lightly touches his dry hand. He wonders if Ai has always been like this; if his wandering hand were always how he pined, or if that bitten lip came naturally to his playbook. Rin wets his lips, dry from kissing. ]
‘Magine being where I am... [ he mutters, the edge is cut from his voice.
Something like a laugh slips out of him as the bottle hits his knee. Uncut, he rarely worried about a luxury like this, and for a moment wonders if Ai is implying more than he means. No sense assuming, Rin thinks. He’s only just gotten here, after all… Still, a sharp feeling pierces his diaphragm. He’s sure Ai would look beautiful laid prone like that, too.
A little lube, Rin thinks before running a saturated hand over Ai’s cock, each stroke biased for the man he’s chosen to bed once more. Crimson eyes fixate on his partner. Last night had been so dark. As well as he might have remembered Ai’s form from their years in the SC, as much of it as he may have felt last night—Ai’s body shone like new in the morning glow. He’s older, handsomer, and damned if Ai ever spoke ill of his figure; in the right mind, Rin would gladly admit his lust for Ai’s beautifully toned body.
Rin grunts through a wave of arousal before leaning forward. His hand presses into the mattress next to Ai’s head, his forearm pressing up against Ai’s neck. Selfishly, he won’t kiss Ai, eager to watch whatever expression unfolds on his countenance. Rin’s hips rock, drawing their erections against one another as Rin clasps them together. ]
[Rin's quip has Ai looking up at him silently for a few beats. And then a smile overtaking his features, as sunny as it is self-satisfied. Doesn't respond right away; how could he, with the way Rin is now working against him? Every bit as unhurried yet still stoking the mutual fire between them, causing Ai to roll his hips up to the same cadence Rin sets, feeling the lengths of their arousals glide against one another.
So similar yet different to yesterday, he thinks. Better, if he's honest; he likes being able to feel Rin's sex, too. And especially likes being able to tuck his head down to see it, and the way it disappears in and out of Rin's palm, against his own cock. A low sigh exhales from his throat, gentle currents of pleasure rippling over his entire body with every mutual buck of their hips.]
I have an idea, [he finally replies, voice a little husked; that had been his purview last night, after all. Albeit without the sun showing every beautiful detail of Rin's body. Another tally for this morning, he thinks, absolutely enraptured by the way Rin's hair curtains his face a bit as he leans over Ai; he does them both the favour of not closing that impossibly small distance, even if he wants to. Because Ai is selfish and finds himself captivated by Rin's heated expression and his piercing eyes. A gaze so intense it might've made Ai shrink, once upon a time.
His hand comes to the side of Rin's cheek; slides down just a little, and his thumb smooths the underside of Rin's jaw, fingers curled on his nape, in the feathered ends of crimson hair. Beautiful. He's just beautiful. Ah, I'm done for. A refrain Ai's thought to himself a non-exhaustive amount of times.
His intention hadn't been to press the envelope further, no. Not that he'd say no, either; but Ai too knew the importance of pacing. Yet all the same, this vantage is giving him ideas, and paired with the heat blossoming between where their bodies kiss, a poignant wave leaps from the tight coil in his gut; he twitches against Rin's hand, even. His expression melts into something just a touch headier, continuing his thought,]
-- but I like this more. I like getting to look up at you.
[No he isn't helping. Yes maybe he's being coy. And yes he knows Rin can be easy to rile on a good day. Morning hours means consequences can't be reaped, right?]
[ There’s a particular intensity that mars his expression, made worse by the sight of Ai stealing glances down between their bodies. Thrill rages through him, his mind blockading his mouth from uttering his weaknesses. It's the same sentiment that made him hiss his demands last night: don’t you dare look away. He’s damn proud of his body, and even prouder to see it sized up so plainly. He bears his teeth with a grimace and a chortle when Ai jerks into his hand; he wishes suddenly he’d given Ai more space to move when he mounted him in the first place.
How Ai can keep his voice so composed is well beyond Rin’s understanding, but the effect it has on him is profound. Complex pleasure knots in his brow and lips. His fingers buckle against the mattress under Ai’s head. This little bastard would put Rin over in an instant if he weren’t prepared for it. Hell, even prepared, Ai’s coy smile and provocation pulses straight to his cock. He hisses, easing back on his work between their hips: ] Fucking tease.
[ Ai isn’t the only one realizing how screwed he is; in more ways than one. How well did Ai know him to coax him so easily to pitch? It’s actually embarrassing, his cheeks burning more red now than before. Is this just what it means to fall for someone who’s known you for way too fucking long? Seizing Ai’s cock alone, he grips the shaft firm in his hand, momentarily a little too tight as he composes himself. Rin’s firm hand glides up and down the length. He polishes its head. ]
[He didn't feel composed. His tongue just had a habit of running, and apparently that wasn't any different in bed. His most earnest sentiments had their ways of being made known, and Ai at his core was a brazen man. It was a side of him Rin has always brought out from the onset, as if Ai felt an impetus to be as forthright as possible. Once upon a time, trying to model for Rin what self-certainty could look like. And then with time, modeling for himself the exact same thing.
Which isn't to say his tongue can't be tripped, either; he's about to retort how he isn't teasing at all (which is only a half-truth) and how much of this was Rin's fault (or so he felt) and it was only right for Rin to take responsibility (and give Ai more memories to chew over once he has to leave), but. Then Rin's gripping him vicelike for a moment, and Ai's entire body hitches under the unceremonious touch, hand seizing in Rin's hair for that split second.
He misses the warm glide of Rin's cock against his own, but this will do, too. Maybe the more they lay together, the more his stamina could be tempered - it's his passing thought as Rin works him up solo, back trying to arch off the bed when Rin smooths over his cockhead. Just like last time; simultaneously too much and not enough. A band somewhere inside of him pulling taut and threatening to snap.
He exhales, a small sound half-way stuck between a whine and a moan; his eyelashes flutter half-way closed, stealing a glance at Rin working him before looking up at his face again. Given their configuration he can't fully roll his hips up, but he does begin matching Rin's rhythm with subtle grinds of his hips up into his hand, as if chasing the feeling. Leans up and away from Rin's arm long enough to kiss the side of his neck; the side of his jaw. As Ai falls pliant back down onto the mattress, Rin would hear another airy sigh,]
Together, please, [is his beckon, hand winding down to Rin's hips to try and pull him down, forward.] Let me-- feel you. [Needless to say, he was getting close.]
[ Just to see Ai ravel like this is satisfactory enough. Even if Rin doesn’t have a hand firm on his own sex doesn’t mean it’s gone far, resting lazily yet erect against Ai’s body. He can feel Ai’s small, longing trusts slight against his sex. Arousal chokes his windpipe, a faint groan audible from him. This simmer is perfect for him.
Rin can’t help but chase the adoration laid upon his neck and jaw. Magnetically, he follows Ai down, kissing the corner of Ai’s mouth as his sigh slips past. Rin knows he’s not long off, even with the break, all too glad to indulge in the eroticism of pleasuring Ai. He could certainly handle more of this another time. Leaning back at Ai’s directive, he shifts his body so slightly—his thighs pressing firmly around Ai’s hips—and lays his cock over Ai’s in his hand. A few, languid draws along their lengths, puts a hitch in his breath.
As much as he would love to stare, at the very first thrust, his mind is clouded over with stimulation. Deliberate thrusts run parallel along Ai’s shaft, but unfocused eyes stare through Ai. All he knows is the fierce heat blazing at his core, his mind heavy with pleasure. A whimper on his lip- ] Goddamnit, Ai.... [ -betrays his want as badly as the free hand that latches onto Ai’s torso as he fucks against Ai’s cock and into his own grip. His head lolls and eyes shimmer, overwhelmed and unthinking.
There’s not warning or a hint—he comes undone so subtly over the head of Ai’s erection that it could easily have not come at all. Blunt nails dig into Ai’s side as Rin’s head throws forward again, hung low to hide his weepy eyes. His hand clings firm to their sexes--long, fearsome strokes to draw Ai out with him. ]
[He isn't given much time to appreciate again the visual of Rin's taut musculature keeping his lap pinned, the smooth motion of Rin's hand taking the both of them back in hold, and the visual of their sexes slotted together. Because much like Rin, the moment the friction is added, Ai's head lolls back on the bed, body threatening to seize with the onslaught of his orgasm.
His name on Rin's lips is ultimately what pushes him over, a few choice strokes after Rin himself has dribbled over the latter end of his arousal; Ai in contrast comes over Rin's knuckles and his own lower stomach, one hand gripping perhaps too tightly in Rin's hair, the other strong on the side of his nape as if absolutely unrelenting in letting Rin pull too far away. Somewhere between it all are small, desperate cries of,] Sen-- Rin-senpai, mm-- [as broken attempts at his partner's name bring him to his high and back down from it.
His head is overwhelmingly clouded once his peak has wrung him dry. But once he has enough wherewithal and breath pulled back into is lungs, his hand climbs up to try and coax Rin to look at him by way of a gentle palm laid upon his cheek. Ai even leans forward, trying to nose at Rin's smile lines to get him to kiss him.
He'd noticed it yesterday, too, but thought maybe he saw wrong. But now Ai has confirmation that Rin cries when he comes. Or maybe it's just with him? Ai has no way of knowing... And doesn't know how to interpret it. Everything points to it having been good for them both - Rin even called his name! But...
Worry nags at him, as it had a habit of doing. But he won't insult Rin by making that Rin's problem, either. Ai instead buries himself down into the bed, giving Rin space, and letting his fingertips brush down toward Rin's clavicle.]
Rin-senpai? [He is being so brave and trying so very hard not to interpret this in a way that'd be a killer blow to his self-consciousness.] You can still look at me.
[ Even with his head bowed so low, Rin naturally leans against the palm against his cheek, a soft sigh cast over his lips. At first brush, his face seems dry, but as Ai noses a kiss out of him, that his cheeks and mouth are damp is terribly obvious. To tell the truth, he’s embarrassed more than anything, but weakened from sex, he hasn’t the heart to defend or repel. He’s not sure if he would bother, anyway. Rin’s lips meet Ai’s easily, although a bit slowly. Like a bandit, he steals more from Ai, his lips salted lightly in tears, and when Ai finally falls back to the bed, his face is hidden once more.
He’s just tired, Ai. His heart still pounding in his chest. There are still waves of arousal coursing through his cock. He can’t know what thoughts might be passing through Ai’s head, but for Rin? This was incredible, down to the last tear. He’s not sure he’s felt so good in a while, nor so comforted over such a silly thing. Rin flexes his filthy hand slightly, looking at the mess across his knuckles, and bites his lip with satisfaction. It shouldn’t feel so different from last night, it’s really nothing new at all, but to see the obvious mess in the morning haze tingles his pride. ]
...I’m fine, [ he utters, taking his clean hand and rubbing his eyes and face quite plainly in front of Ai. It’s not such a big deal, he thinks, coping a little. It’s just Ai. Ai has seen him way worse off, and even he knew this was rather the opposite of his lowest. Rin’s eyes at last flash back up at Ai, a little misty, a bit foggy, but his mood is good. His voice is unhampered, but for the heaves of exhaustion. Half-hearted, he smirks. ] Some good morning, huh?
[ Rin hesitates a laugh; his heart looks so light. ]
[Rin's sweet kisses do help to abate Ai's latent worries, perhaps moreso than the overwhelming fact Rin hasn't already ran for the hills. It's an arguably silly thing to be worried about, all told, but with it being such a new frontier and them only recently back in contact, Ai finds he isn't quite as good at guestimating where Rin's head is at all times like he might have been when they were just a year or two younger.
Rin verbally assures as much, and. Ai watches Rin rub the tears away from his face; watches him finally look up to meet Ai's gaze. Some good morning, huh? Ai really has no words for it-- for the way his heart is suddenly in his throat, threatening to asphyxiate him in all its overwhelm. Crest after crest of pure, ardent, unmitigated adoration washing over him. At Rin who has chosen to be vulnerable with him, and does, time and time and time again; at Rin who just got him off under the golden rays of the early morning. At the terrifying realization the feelings in his chest that have calcified over years of neglect have, indeed, changed: they've grown bigger.
Rin will feel Ai's hand shift to the side of his face; will feel his thumb gently smoothing over the high of his cheek. And will see, for that moment, the flash of everything untold in his eyes. In the gentle crease of skin near the corners where his lips climb into a smile, and the gentle pull of his eyebrows in the center of his forehead, and in the sudden well of breath into his lungs.
Ai had been so bold as to say thirty days was enough. Now he's realizing exactly why Rin seemed so hesitant on such a declaration; Ai's realizing it is nowhere near enough.]
How am I supposed to get up and do normal day things after all of this? [he nearly accuses with a smile, shifting his head down on the pillow. Spares one last glance down their spent bodies. Ugh. physically growing uncomfortable, but the visual is still out of this world. Back up to Rin,] You're no good for my constitution, senpai.
[ How are either of them supposed to have a normal day after this? Ai looks… so happy. In a different moment, he’s sure he’d react differently, but in this one? Unfortunately, he’s a mess. Rin pulls a tissue to clean himself first, thinking a little about what Ai said. How is he going to have a normal month?
After cleaning Ai, he falls again down at Ai’s side, except- ] Ow--! The fuck-- [ Rin grimaces as he fishes the bottle of lube out from under his ass. He’d sort of forgotten about this. That and the few tissues he’d grabbed, now filthy, go on the nightstand for now. His arm goes above his head, and the other at his abdomen. He’s exhausted from sex, body coated with sweat, and his hair is in shambles on one side of his head. ] That was good, [ he mutters, for once the one to speak his mind thoughtlessly, but being a little self-congratulatory wasn’t so out of the books. His hand shifts, a lazy touch to his side where Ai rests. ]
Listen, uh, [ he starts as his eyes cast away, his voice seemingly stern. Sober, but thankfully not hungover, he can’t help but feel that little tug of propriety. He should talk about his busy week-- ]
Do you mind if I showered? [ --or he won’t talk about it. So many times last night, he whispered his next times. He'd never whispered those next times before. It's new, and it's.... weird. ]
[Ai jolts with worry when Rin's suddenly cursing, until the object of his expletive makes itself known. Ai offers an apologetic expression; he'd also forgotten about that, and he'd been the one to put it there. As he's gotten older Ai's gotten much better about keeping things organized, but sometimes, habits die hard... If not for Rin's intervention, that bottle very well may have stayed on top of his sheets until next time Ai had to find it to use it.
He's thoroughly spent, and content to roll his head over just enough to keep it in Rin's space; the cool air of the room is a salve over his clammy and hot body, unabashed at being prone and naked. It was as if next to Rin, those insecurities Ai could sometimes have didn't matter at all. Rin's appraisal and subsequent gentle touch put Ai's stupid heart into overdrive in his chest; he dons a tired, elated smile.] It was great, [he amends. A perfect way to wake up.
Rin beckons him, and so Ai does listen, head turned fully onto his cheek to look at Rin. And because Ai's attentive, he notices the way Rin suddenly disengages too. Whatever confidence he'd conjured in that moment, gone in a flash; it's mirrored in Ai's expression, who for just a moment deflates a little. So much anticipation built into one word, and then gone. But Ai won't put pressure; he's sure whatever Rin had been intending to say will have a way of coming out again eventually.
Ai leans forward, just enough to nose at Rin's hair. Primarily because he can, but also it's his silent way of giving reassurance. Ai's patience is plentiful and his endurance a vice; he'd wait. Because he always did.
Never mind the selfish neg in the back of his head, he completely brushed me off when I asked if he wanted to bathe together last night..., and the teeny tiny pin-prick sized rejection it churns in his gut. Maybe some other time.]
Go ahead, [Ai grants, and keeps himself out of it,] no need to ask. There should be a couple fresh towels in the closet just before the bathroom.
[ Unfortunately, Rin has no recollection of last night's offer. It had been so late; he was barely awake by the time it was asked. His eyes close as Ai nuzzles into him, a small tilt in his head to invite the affection with subtle intent.
His head turns, smiling. With a little effort, his hand reaches up to brush the back against Ai’s cheek. He’ll figure it out, how to say what he needs to. ]
Thanks, [ he mutters, rolling over and smoothing his hand over his neck. He shares a long kiss before getting out of the bed. He straightens up, flexing his shoulder back with a satisfied groan. Every movement is like a perfect echo of the night before, his back exposed to Ai when he first stripped down in the bathroom.
Anyway, he disappears with a half wave behind him. ]
[Ai could melt into a kiss like that one-thousand times and it still wouldn't be enough. A potent snapshot of Rin's affections, and Ai is absolutely weak for it... Every second that ticks by, his enthusiasm and lack of propriety comes back to bite him. Because thirty days is nowhere enough, and these fleeting moments feel all the more oppressive for it.
But far be it for him to be crestfallen; quite the opposite. Ai's still riding cloud nine, even with the sudden lack of Rin's warmth beside him. He rolls onto his stomach once there's space on his mattress to do so, shining eyes lazily appraising Rin's body as he stands to full height. Really, he's perfect in every way. I'm lucky...
Ai doesn't hesitate for even a second to reach out and take a palm-full squeeze of Rin's ass cheek right before he walks off to the shower room. Who did that?
For the length of time Rin spends in there, Ai... Makes a bold proclamation in not peeling himself out of bed. He didn't crave sleep; rather, it was as if he didn't want to leave the nest he and Rin had made, not quite yet. His pillow faintly smelled of Rin still; Ai finds himself shifting over to that half of it, face buried in the linen. He still had to wash down too, but. Ai was in no rush.]
[ Ok, that earns a start and a laugh, his eyes cutting backwards when Ai grabs his ass. This is the beginning of his revenge arc. Your fate is sealed, kouhai!
Rin’s not sure why he’s like this; it’s not like it was a tough subject to bring up. Next time. One month. While Rin was fairly good at staying in the moment, every moment was always leading into the next, a relentless, spinning ball of progress made for chasing the dreams he would never give up on – not now, at least... and he had Ai to thank for that, in so many complicated ways. He's always been there for him, even when Rin didn't need him. Water cascaded over him in the shower and a smile quirks his lip: he uses this shampoo, too... Guess that explains why Ai’s hair looks so nice. Ai isn't even here, and Rin's going to be thinking of him every time he washes his hair now, isn't he? ... Maybe he should have invited Ai. Next time. Fuck, he can't think of a time he was in this deep.
It’s not long before Rin returns, clothed and behatted. His leg folds under him as he sits down on the bed close to Ai. His hand easily reaches over, brushing his fingers through Ai’s hair as a huffed laugh slips out of him. Ai would have no reason to know why he seems amused. Rin smiles comfortably at him, his eyes hooded and thoughtful.
It makes sense, he thinks, why he fretted so much, as he looks at him now. That Ai cared was always miserably obvious, his earnest heart always thrust toward him without fear or shame. Over the years, he went through so many motions; despair, want, distance. His shadowy heart cast so strongly over their first year together that he couldn’t bare the weight of his own emotions, regardless of who received them. Ai deserved better then. In his last year… well.... A sapling cannot grow under the shade of a tree. It was only right to let Ai grow on his own; he held so much promise. As he left for Australia, Ai deserved someone who could be close to him and return every affection Rin failed to. He assumed so much about the two of them.
But to ignore that passion for so long, after this long, perhaps it was just guilt that held him back... Guilt for how this moment could not come sooner, and guilt for how long it would take to have, again. ]
[He nods off a little, the longer Rin is in the shower. Such was the nature of being so physically spent, paired with a heart unburdened and then weighed all at once. Ai would surely have lots to process once Rin's out of his purview.
A sense of self-consciousness overcomes him when he feels the bed depress where Rin's sat on it, snapped out of his dozing by the feeling paired with such a gentle hand suddenly in his hair. Ai was more than content with Rin's proximity. Grateful for it, even; he borderline preens into the touch that is now given to him so freely. Ai doesn't have a clue how long or how many times such a thing is going to be dolled out to him as if this affection between them has been there for years - but even outside of his rumination, Ai was never one for half-measures anyway. Every brush of his hair, every arm around his shoulder, every minute spent helping him with his English, every text answered, there wasn't a single ounce of it Ai ever took for granted. He surely would not start taking it for granted now, dubious and unnamed.
He reaches up for Rin's hand so that he can bring it toward his lips, where Ai kisses him sweetly on the inside of his wrist. Relinquishes his hold and finally makes good on that sense of self-consciousness by reaching over to drag the sheets over his lower half, careful so as not to let it touch his sullied belly. Rin was fully clothed, looked about ready to leave; Ai was still nude and splayed on his bed. In equal measure he felt silly and exposed.]
I still have to wash off, [Ai murmurs, sitting up enough that he can perch his chin on top of Rin's shoulder, bright blue eyes close in proximity, giving clear outline to his gratitude, his ardor, and his apprehension all. Suddenly he can't get the words off his tongue, because he doesn't want to imply either way, but. Finally he manages through something of a mutter,] will you stay?
Tch, when the hell did you become such a romantic, [ Rin chides tenuously as Ai spoils him. ]
Ah… [ he starts, his hand flexing very slightly at the question. No. That’s not really what he wants to say. Strangely, his heart skips a beat. ] I, uh… [ His hand combs through the part in his wet hair, unable to look at Ai but feeling his gaze poignantly. ]
I have some time but, Gou expected me yesterday… [ He wouldn’t admit it easily, but of course he had been excited to spend time with his sister when he got back. With the same tone he tried to speak with before, he hesitates: ] Listen, uh...
I’m supposed to be heading to mom’s new place tomorrow for a few days. She’s a little closer to Tokyo now, but it’s still a few hours on the train.
But, [ Say it. ]
I’ll let you know when I’m back, Ai. [ His eyes turn, meeting Ai’s cerulean gaze as he speaks his lover’s name. Rubies flash as he holds that connection as long as he can. ] We can, [ but again, he looks away, a small flush in his cheeks as he tries to say the words, ] I dunno. We’ll figure something out.
[Of course, it's hard to deny the immediate flit of rejection and disappointment that wells in his system. Because last night had been electric, and this morning has been magical, and Ai wanted nothing more on planet earth than an infinite amount of time to coexist on the road toward this new horizon with Rin. To spend infinite mornings tangled in one another, and another infinity more trying to find the words that might even begin to encapsulate all that entails.
So he could gnash his teeth and beg and cry, but. Rather than fall to that moment's anxiety, Ai finds something far more aggressively familiar: his empathy. That which has propelled him forward with Rin for years. The deep understanding that Rin's world is so big, and that even if there's lots he won't say, Ai's ready to understand. He's ready to trust, even if it kills him a little.
His head lifts from Rin's shoulder, enough to smile at him sincerely.]
Your sister probably misses you very much. Good luck trying to explain to her why you're late, [he teases, expertly weaseling between the space of Rin's expected itinerary and the detour Ai's taken him on; he held no shame, so had nothing to be shy about, after all.
He listens when Rin's tone falls to something closer, more sincere. And it's like a sixth sense or an otherworldly instinct, really, the way Rin seems stuck and the way Ai immediately wants to fix it. The smile he pulls is reassuring, and unhurried, and unconditional. And it's given to Rin without hesitation.]
Don't forget to check in with Sousuke-senpai, too. Ah, and I know Tachibana-san and Nanase-san were asking about you. [We'll see each other soon. Overtures weren't Ai's specialty, but making the explicit known through the implicit? That he could do.
... But. In case Rin doesn't get it, Ai's smile turns a touch softer, trying to seek out those beautiful ruby eyes one more time.]
Take your time, Rin-senpai.
[Ai's then sitting back on his haunches and gently patting Rin's shoulder, encouraging him to get up and finally break the seal on their peace.]
[ "Take your time" may as well have sucker punched him. It’s too sweet, too patient, a sentiment so flooded with warmth that Rin is suddenly drowning in his own foolhardiness. Ai has no fucking clue how badly Rin wants to shun every single one of those people for him. While he’s sure he would have given into that feeling once, he’s older now. He knows he shouldn’t. He knows he should have reached out to Ai along with the others to ask if he could crash at his place.
...Yet, it was because he knew it would become this, wasn’t it?
He’s a fool for avoiding the warmth he wanted too badly. Whatever easing up Ai offers him, Rin doesn’t move, staring back at him for an eternity. With a small lean, Rin brushes his hand over Ai’s thigh and rests it against the mattress on his opposite side. Infinity might be too much for him now, but he knows he feels his heart tug hard in Ai’s direction. ]
You should worry more about yourself, [ he chides, the edge missing in his voice. Rin leans in, meeting Ai’s lips for a kiss. Many kisses, pouring affection over him like promises he’s too worried to make. ]
[Even after devouring one another, indulging in each other, waking up naked and entangled with one another, Ai still finds himself suddenly breathless when Rin comes close. Breathless all over again at feeling the mattress depress under where Rin has steadied his palm.
Rin will find Ai smiling against his lips. Somewhere between the fourth or fifth, Ai's hand comes up to cup the side of Rin's face. And even when they naturally pull apart again, Ai doesn't let go quite yet. His thumb strokes over the high of Rin's cheek, and Ai does battle with the churning in his gut; the premature grief of having to see Rin go. Because if he can't handle this much, how in the ever-loving hell will they ever make it work?
It's for this exact reason his words are spoken as much to Rin as they are himself:]
This much we're used to, right? I know I'll be okay.
[Before doing them both the favour of finally bringing his hand back to himself.
... Okay. Ai leans up to steal one last kiss, slow and even, before settling down on the bed again. The smile he wears is almost offensive and insulting in how bright it is.]
[ It’s different, his mind sober and his loins soothed. There are sparks in every kiss, a light brush of tongue in every other one. It’s not that Ai’s a “good kisser,” he thinks. This sweet, romantic touch feels natural: unrehearsed but perfectly preformed. In elation, he drifts, his mind on the simplicity of giving his affections without goal or motive. And Ai is smiling into all of it. The smallest, sweetest chuckle slips out of him before one, long, fervent kiss, hoping that his heart would betray him as it had the night before.
Their lips separate, and he sees Ai there, again, his body bare and beautiful in the morning light. He thinks… surely, this is falling in love for the first time. I know I'll be okay. ] Ai... [ A name. A sentiment. He leans into the hand on his cheek just as it disappears. The air where it sat is far, far too cool.
For one that one last kiss, Rin bows his head and laughs, his cheeks brightened red. His eyes cast a moment at Ai, smirking at his handsome smile. ] For sure.
[ Guess this is where he gets out of Ai’s hair finally? Not that either of them want that. He hesitates to stand, but does. But he won’t leave without reaching down to ruffle that sweet head of his, already a mess from sex and sleep. ]
See you, [ He’s certainly not brave enough for a lover’s goodbye. Not yet, at least. But all of this should suffice. He gives a cool wave as he heads out of the bedroom.
If Ai is quiet, he might hear Rin fussing a little bit in the kitchen, who noticed that he forgot to drink most of his tea the night before. Oops. Ai will find the two cups soaking in the sink later. ]
[The funny thing about life, for better or worse, after the good and the bad, is that it keeps on.
The world sure did not stop spinning just because Ai had the lights kissed out of him, and certainly not because every few hours, minutes, a mental flash of ruby red eyes and intention behind them would cross his mind's eye. Every step he took to and from the pool or from class was jarring in its neutrality; lighter for having seen and been with Rin, heavier for having to say good-bye for now. But daily routine keeps him busy enough, and the times he can't tamper his through-the-roof pining, shooting a quick text or writing a new entry log into his diary observation journal helped abate it, somewhat. Though this much Ai was used to, too; the physical gnaw in his chest a familiar friend from years ago.
Sousuke is the first to ask if Ai's seen Rin since the group's night at the market, and Ai has to try and kill the smile that threatens to bisect his face in two. Like a dutiful friend, Ai tells him Rin's back home for now, and nothing more.
They text often. Ai spends a non-negligible amount of time backreading older conversations, and maybe it's rose-tinted glasses, but he cannot help but feel they both might be spending much more time thumbs to screen than they had previously. He's on Shimogami's campus ambling from the library to Somewhere he can settle down with his books; the weather was nice enough for it, and it was rare Ai was granted time like this midday. It's then he feels his phone vibrate-- and keep vibrating. Ai quickly hurries to the side of the walkway and answers his phone on about the fourth or fifth ring,]
Rin-senpai?
[It would be borderline impossible to miss the smile in his voice; Ai clasps the phone to his cheek with both hands.]
[ Rin rarely poured over his phone, but every time he heard the ping of a text his heart skipped a beat. It’s electrical to have Ai texting him again, so often and so warmly, and it’s only somewhat a shame he has to spend time with his family that he can’t waste his time exchanging words with Ai.
His mom moved to be closer to family – reasonable, now that both him and Gou had left the nest – with his Dad nearly 15 years passed away, Iwatobi meant somewhat less. The photos Rin sends are snapshots of him with his family, a motif of long red hair shared between them, besides his grandmother. His cousins are younger enough than him that it shows. A lot of them look like Gou was sneaking shots.
Gou is the first to notice how often he texted and, after enough pestering, Rin growled his admission: he’s seeing Ai. If anyone should know first, Gou really wasn’t the worst. Actually, probably the best – although she gladly teased him and asked a few too many questions than he was willing to answer, it’s thanks to her smokescreen that he’s able to tear himself away for a little time to, well, embarrass himself. He’s not sure he
Ring. Maybe he should have texted first before calling?
Ring. He rubs the spot over his heart, annoyed that he’s nervous. It’s been, what, four days since he’d seen him?
Ai picks up. ] Hey, Ai! [ he answers, a warmth in his voice that lived in him as a youth but took time to find again. ]
[There is a lilt in Rin's voice, Ai thinks, when he picks up, and it's impossible not to smile at the idea that Rin was excited to chat. This was certainly uncommon between them, both before and now; Ai usually too shy or self-imposingly dejected to text, let alone call, and Rin usually too busy to entertain the thought. If they sat on the line together, it was usually to discuss matters of business...
Actually, when was the last time we talked just for the sake of it?
Not that Rin can see it, but Ai shakes his head and makes a small noise to pair with it, eyes scanning his immediate surroundings for anywhere to sit,]
No! Not at all-- sorry, you just caught me as I was walking.
[Ai jogs a little to approach some benches he spots along the walking path just ahead, conveniently shaded under some trees that tower over the pavement from the greenery. His hand curls against the fabric of his shirt right above his chest, and it certainly isn't for the sudden physical expense.]
How is your sister? How's Matsuoka-san? Actually, just yesterday I called my mom, and I told her you were back here for a little while. [Ai's relationship with his parents was both extremely close and complicated in equal measure, but given the role Rin's played in his teen years, it only made sense he's mentioned Rin a handful of times to his family and they recognized the name.] She sounded excited to hear it.
[ A pair of questions that, unfortunately, get swept under by a singular thought: ]
Hah--? What are you doing telling your mom about me? [ There’s a certain pursed-lips quality to his words that peeks through the call.
He’s sure he’s never told his mom about Ai – except he definitely has and just thinks he’s too cool to gush about some dorky roommate he had in high school and entrusted his swim team with no big deal. ]
[Ai pulls his phone away from his ear to stare at it, because Rin may as well have just asked him what colour the sky is. Ai blinks, brings his phone back to his ear, and responds with a level of earnestness and shamelessness that only a guy like him could muster,]
We lived together for a whole year, Rin-senpai! Of course she knows who you are. More than that, she remembers you from the few high school competitions she was able to come spectate.
[She doesn't know about-- them. From Ai's mouth, no one does. Not for shame or want of hiding their new nameless frontier, but because overtures didn't come to him easily, and if he's honest, it seemed unnecessary. But Nitori-san absolutely knows Rin's full name, and that he has a sister and a mother, and that he was in the top tenth percentile for academics at Samezuka, and that he lived in Australia for a few years, and...]
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Date: 2025-09-29 11:32 pm (UTC)And then the low keen he lets out when Rin shoves the blanket off and begins to move could almost be interpreted as a whine, because for a moment he thought Rin was getting up. And he was-- just. In the best possible way. The moment Rin's straddling his lap, Ai's hands are on his thighs, eagerly roaming over the expanse of his pale skin; tracing up the contour of his body. Down to his waist. One hand ghosts over Rin's where it holds both of their hardened cocks, and Ai has to resist the urge to buck his hips up.
Sky blue eyes catch deep crimson, and despite himself, Ai grins something wicked.]
This is an incredible view. You really are spoiling me...
[All impeccable musculature and cocky attitude... Never mind the visual of Rin holding the both of them. Ai's suddenly chewing his bottom lip, turning his torso over juuust a little bit to get more reach from his arm-- his fingers paw uselessly at his beside drawer until he finally catches on the handle and pulls it open. Then rummages around its contents before finding a small vial; Ai procures it, shuts the drawer with the side of his palm, and tosses it beside Rin's knee.
Because yes of course he has
at leasttwo of those lying around, and who doesn't like a smooth glide?]no subject
Date: 2025-10-01 06:55 am (UTC)‘Magine being where I am... [ he mutters, the edge is cut from his voice.
Something like a laugh slips out of him as the bottle hits his knee. Uncut, he rarely worried about a luxury like this, and for a moment wonders if Ai is implying more than he means. No sense assuming, Rin thinks. He’s only just gotten here, after all… Still, a sharp feeling pierces his diaphragm. He’s sure Ai would look beautiful laid prone like that, too.
A little lube, Rin thinks before running a saturated hand over Ai’s cock, each stroke biased for the man he’s chosen to bed once more. Crimson eyes fixate on his partner. Last night had been so dark. As well as he might have remembered Ai’s form from their years in the SC, as much of it as he may have felt last night—Ai’s body shone like new in the morning glow. He’s older, handsomer, and damned if Ai ever spoke ill of his figure; in the right mind, Rin would gladly admit his lust for Ai’s beautifully toned body.
Rin grunts through a wave of arousal before leaning forward. His hand presses into the mattress next to Ai’s head, his forearm pressing up against Ai’s neck. Selfishly, he won’t kiss Ai, eager to watch whatever expression unfolds on his countenance. Rin’s hips rock, drawing their erections against one another as Rin clasps them together. ]
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Date: 2025-10-01 02:43 pm (UTC)So similar yet different to yesterday, he thinks. Better, if he's honest; he likes being able to feel Rin's sex, too. And especially likes being able to tuck his head down to see it, and the way it disappears in and out of Rin's palm, against his own cock. A low sigh exhales from his throat, gentle currents of pleasure rippling over his entire body with every mutual buck of their hips.]
I have an idea, [he finally replies, voice a little husked; that had been his purview last night, after all. Albeit without the sun showing every beautiful detail of Rin's body. Another tally for this morning, he thinks, absolutely enraptured by the way Rin's hair curtains his face a bit as he leans over Ai; he does them both the favour of not closing that impossibly small distance, even if he wants to. Because Ai is selfish and finds himself captivated by Rin's heated expression and his piercing eyes. A gaze so intense it might've made Ai shrink, once upon a time.
His hand comes to the side of Rin's cheek; slides down just a little, and his thumb smooths the underside of Rin's jaw, fingers curled on his nape, in the feathered ends of crimson hair. Beautiful. He's just beautiful. Ah, I'm done for. A refrain Ai's thought to himself a non-exhaustive amount of times.
His intention hadn't been to press the envelope further, no. Not that he'd say no, either; but Ai too knew the importance of pacing. Yet all the same, this vantage is giving him ideas, and paired with the heat blossoming between where their bodies kiss, a poignant wave leaps from the tight coil in his gut; he twitches against Rin's hand, even. His expression melts into something just a touch headier, continuing his thought,]
-- but I like this more. I like getting to look up at you.
[No he isn't helping. Yes maybe he's being coy. And yes he knows Rin can be easy to rile on a good day. Morning hours means consequences can't be reaped, right?]
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Date: 2025-10-01 08:19 pm (UTC)How Ai can keep his voice so composed is well beyond Rin’s understanding, but the effect it has on him is profound. Complex pleasure knots in his brow and lips. His fingers buckle against the mattress under Ai’s head. This little bastard would put Rin over in an instant if he weren’t prepared for it. Hell, even prepared, Ai’s coy smile and provocation pulses straight to his cock. He hisses, easing back on his work between their hips: ] Fucking tease.
[ Ai isn’t the only one realizing how screwed he is; in more ways than one. How well did Ai know him to coax him so easily to pitch? It’s actually embarrassing, his cheeks burning more red now than before. Is this just what it means to fall for someone who’s known you for way too fucking long? Seizing Ai’s cock alone, he grips the shaft firm in his hand, momentarily a little too tight as he composes himself. Rin’s firm hand glides up and down the length. He polishes its head. ]
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Date: 2025-10-01 08:35 pm (UTC)Which isn't to say his tongue can't be tripped, either; he's about to retort how he isn't teasing at all (which is only a half-truth) and how much of this was Rin's fault (or so he felt) and it was only right for Rin to take responsibility (and give Ai more memories to chew over once he has to leave), but. Then Rin's gripping him vicelike for a moment, and Ai's entire body hitches under the unceremonious touch, hand seizing in Rin's hair for that split second.
He misses the warm glide of Rin's cock against his own, but this will do, too. Maybe the more they lay together, the more his stamina could be tempered - it's his passing thought as Rin works him up solo, back trying to arch off the bed when Rin smooths over his cockhead. Just like last time; simultaneously too much and not enough. A band somewhere inside of him pulling taut and threatening to snap.
He exhales, a small sound half-way stuck between a whine and a moan; his eyelashes flutter half-way closed, stealing a glance at Rin working him before looking up at his face again. Given their configuration he can't fully roll his hips up, but he does begin matching Rin's rhythm with subtle grinds of his hips up into his hand, as if chasing the feeling. Leans up and away from Rin's arm long enough to kiss the side of his neck; the side of his jaw. As Ai falls pliant back down onto the mattress, Rin would hear another airy sigh,]
Together, please, [is his beckon, hand winding down to Rin's hips to try and pull him down, forward.] Let me-- feel you. [Needless to say, he was getting close.]
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Date: 2025-10-02 12:15 am (UTC)Rin can’t help but chase the adoration laid upon his neck and jaw. Magnetically, he follows Ai down, kissing the corner of Ai’s mouth as his sigh slips past. Rin knows he’s not long off, even with the break, all too glad to indulge in the eroticism of pleasuring Ai. He could certainly handle more of this another time. Leaning back at Ai’s directive, he shifts his body so slightly—his thighs pressing firmly around Ai’s hips—and lays his cock over Ai’s in his hand. A few, languid draws along their lengths, puts a hitch in his breath.
As much as he would love to stare, at the very first thrust, his mind is clouded over with stimulation. Deliberate thrusts run parallel along Ai’s shaft, but unfocused eyes stare through Ai. All he knows is the fierce heat blazing at his core, his mind heavy with pleasure. A whimper on his lip- ] Goddamnit, Ai.... [ -betrays his want as badly as the free hand that latches onto Ai’s torso as he fucks against Ai’s cock and into his own grip. His head lolls and eyes shimmer, overwhelmed and unthinking.
There’s not warning or a hint—he comes undone so subtly over the head of Ai’s erection that it could easily have not come at all. Blunt nails dig into Ai’s side as Rin’s head throws forward again, hung low to hide his weepy eyes. His hand clings firm to their sexes--long, fearsome strokes to draw Ai out with him. ]
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Date: 2025-10-02 12:32 am (UTC)His name on Rin's lips is ultimately what pushes him over, a few choice strokes after Rin himself has dribbled over the latter end of his arousal; Ai in contrast comes over Rin's knuckles and his own lower stomach, one hand gripping perhaps too tightly in Rin's hair, the other strong on the side of his nape as if absolutely unrelenting in letting Rin pull too far away. Somewhere between it all are small, desperate cries of,] Sen-- Rin-senpai, mm-- [as broken attempts at his partner's name bring him to his high and back down from it.
His head is overwhelmingly clouded once his peak has wrung him dry. But once he has enough wherewithal and breath pulled back into is lungs, his hand climbs up to try and coax Rin to look at him by way of a gentle palm laid upon his cheek. Ai even leans forward, trying to nose at Rin's smile lines to get him to kiss him.
He'd noticed it yesterday, too, but thought maybe he saw wrong. But now Ai has confirmation that Rin cries when he comes. Or maybe it's just with him? Ai has no way of knowing... And doesn't know how to interpret it. Everything points to it having been good for them both - Rin even called his name! But...
Worry nags at him, as it had a habit of doing. But he won't insult Rin by making that Rin's problem, either. Ai instead buries himself down into the bed, giving Rin space, and letting his fingertips brush down toward Rin's clavicle.]
Rin-senpai? [He is being so brave and trying so very hard not to interpret this in a way that'd be a killer blow to his self-consciousness.] You can still look at me.
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Date: 2025-10-02 05:32 am (UTC)He’s just tired, Ai. His heart still pounding in his chest. There are still waves of arousal coursing through his cock. He can’t know what thoughts might be passing through Ai’s head, but for Rin? This was incredible, down to the last tear. He’s not sure he’s felt so good in a while, nor so comforted over such a silly thing. Rin flexes his filthy hand slightly, looking at the mess across his knuckles, and bites his lip with satisfaction. It shouldn’t feel so different from last night, it’s really nothing new at all, but to see the obvious mess in the morning haze tingles his pride. ]
...I’m fine, [ he utters, taking his clean hand and rubbing his eyes and face quite plainly in front of Ai. It’s not such a big deal, he thinks, coping a little. It’s just Ai. Ai has seen him way worse off, and even he knew this was rather the opposite of his lowest. Rin’s eyes at last flash back up at Ai, a little misty, a bit foggy, but his mood is good. His voice is unhampered, but for the heaves of exhaustion. Half-hearted, he smirks. ] Some good morning, huh?
[ Rin hesitates a laugh; his heart looks so light. ]
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Date: 2025-10-02 02:23 pm (UTC)Rin verbally assures as much, and. Ai watches Rin rub the tears away from his face; watches him finally look up to meet Ai's gaze. Some good morning, huh? Ai really has no words for it-- for the way his heart is suddenly in his throat, threatening to asphyxiate him in all its overwhelm. Crest after crest of pure, ardent, unmitigated adoration washing over him. At Rin who has chosen to be vulnerable with him, and does, time and time and time again; at Rin who just got him off under the golden rays of the early morning. At the terrifying realization the feelings in his chest that have calcified over years of neglect have, indeed, changed: they've grown bigger.
Rin will feel Ai's hand shift to the side of his face; will feel his thumb gently smoothing over the high of his cheek. And will see, for that moment, the flash of everything untold in his eyes. In the gentle crease of skin near the corners where his lips climb into a smile, and the gentle pull of his eyebrows in the center of his forehead, and in the sudden well of breath into his lungs.
Ai had been so bold as to say thirty days was enough. Now he's realizing exactly why Rin seemed so hesitant on such a declaration; Ai's realizing it is nowhere near enough.]
How am I supposed to get up and do normal day things after all of this? [he nearly accuses with a smile, shifting his head down on the pillow. Spares one last glance down their spent bodies. Ugh. physically growing uncomfortable, but the visual is still out of this world. Back up to Rin,] You're no good for my constitution, senpai.
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Date: 2025-10-04 06:31 am (UTC)After cleaning Ai, he falls again down at Ai’s side, except- ] Ow--! The fuck-- [ Rin grimaces as he fishes the bottle of lube out from under his ass. He’d sort of forgotten about this. That and the few tissues he’d grabbed, now filthy, go on the nightstand for now. His arm goes above his head, and the other at his abdomen. He’s exhausted from sex, body coated with sweat, and his hair is in shambles on one side of his head. ] That was good, [ he mutters, for once the one to speak his mind thoughtlessly, but being a little self-congratulatory wasn’t so out of the books. His hand shifts, a lazy touch to his side where Ai rests. ]
Listen, uh, [ he starts as his eyes cast away, his voice seemingly stern. Sober, but thankfully not hungover, he can’t help but feel that little tug of propriety. He should talk about his busy week-- ]
Do you mind if I showered? [ --or he won’t talk about it. So many times last night, he whispered his next times. He'd never whispered those next times before. It's new, and it's.... weird. ]
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Date: 2025-10-04 01:52 pm (UTC)He's thoroughly spent, and content to roll his head over just enough to keep it in Rin's space; the cool air of the room is a salve over his clammy and hot body, unabashed at being prone and naked. It was as if next to Rin, those insecurities Ai could sometimes have didn't matter at all. Rin's appraisal and subsequent gentle touch put Ai's stupid heart into overdrive in his chest; he dons a tired, elated smile.] It was great, [he amends. A perfect way to wake up.
Rin beckons him, and so Ai does listen, head turned fully onto his cheek to look at Rin. And because Ai's attentive, he notices the way Rin suddenly disengages too. Whatever confidence he'd conjured in that moment, gone in a flash; it's mirrored in Ai's expression, who for just a moment deflates a little. So much anticipation built into one word, and then gone. But Ai won't put pressure; he's sure whatever Rin had been intending to say will have a way of coming out again eventually.
Ai leans forward, just enough to nose at Rin's hair. Primarily because he can, but also it's his silent way of giving reassurance. Ai's patience is plentiful and his endurance a vice; he'd wait. Because he always did.
Never mind the selfish neg in the back of his head, he completely brushed me off when I asked if he wanted to bathe together last night..., and the teeny tiny pin-prick sized rejection it churns in his gut. Maybe some other time.]
Go ahead, [Ai grants, and keeps himself out of it,] no need to ask. There should be a couple fresh towels in the closet just before the bathroom.
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Date: 2025-10-07 03:10 am (UTC)His head turns, smiling. With a little effort, his hand reaches up to brush the back against Ai’s cheek. He’ll figure it out, how to say what he needs to. ]
Thanks, [ he mutters, rolling over and smoothing his hand over his neck. He shares a long kiss before getting out of the bed. He straightens up, flexing his shoulder back with a satisfied groan. Every movement is like a perfect echo of the night before, his back exposed to Ai when he first stripped down in the bathroom.
Anyway, he disappears with a half wave behind him. ]
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Date: 2025-10-07 03:25 am (UTC)But far be it for him to be crestfallen; quite the opposite. Ai's still riding cloud nine, even with the sudden lack of Rin's warmth beside him. He rolls onto his stomach once there's space on his mattress to do so, shining eyes lazily appraising Rin's body as he stands to full height. Really, he's perfect in every way. I'm lucky...
Ai doesn't hesitate for even a second to reach out and take a palm-full squeeze of Rin's ass cheek right before he walks off to the shower room. Who did that?
For the length of time Rin spends in there, Ai... Makes a bold proclamation in not peeling himself out of bed. He didn't crave sleep; rather, it was as if he didn't want to leave the nest he and Rin had made, not quite yet. His pillow faintly smelled of Rin still; Ai finds himself shifting over to that half of it, face buried in the linen. He still had to wash down too, but. Ai was in no rush.]
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Date: 2025-10-08 11:57 pm (UTC)Rin’s not sure why he’s like this; it’s not like it was a tough subject to bring up. Next time. One month. While Rin was fairly good at staying in the moment, every moment was always leading into the next, a relentless, spinning ball of progress made for chasing the dreams he would never give up on – not now, at least... and he had Ai to thank for that, in so many complicated ways. He's always been there for him, even when Rin didn't need him. Water cascaded over him in the shower and a smile quirks his lip: he uses this shampoo, too... Guess that explains why Ai’s hair looks so nice. Ai isn't even here, and Rin's going to be thinking of him every time he washes his hair now, isn't he? ... Maybe he should have invited Ai. Next time. Fuck, he can't think of a time he was in this deep.
It’s not long before Rin returns, clothed and behatted. His leg folds under him as he sits down on the bed close to Ai. His hand easily reaches over, brushing his fingers through Ai’s hair as a huffed laugh slips out of him. Ai would have no reason to know why he seems amused. Rin smiles comfortably at him, his eyes hooded and thoughtful.
It makes sense, he thinks, why he fretted so much, as he looks at him now. That Ai cared was always miserably obvious, his earnest heart always thrust toward him without fear or shame. Over the years, he went through so many motions; despair, want, distance. His shadowy heart cast so strongly over their first year together that he couldn’t bare the weight of his own emotions, regardless of who received them. Ai deserved better then. In his last year… well.... A sapling cannot grow under the shade of a tree. It was only right to let Ai grow on his own; he held so much promise. As he left for Australia, Ai deserved someone who could be close to him and return every affection Rin failed to. He assumed so much about the two of them.
But to ignore that passion for so long, after this long, perhaps it was just guilt that held him back... Guilt for how this moment could not come sooner, and guilt for how long it would take to have, again. ]
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Date: 2025-10-09 12:11 am (UTC)A sense of self-consciousness overcomes him when he feels the bed depress where Rin's sat on it, snapped out of his dozing by the feeling paired with such a gentle hand suddenly in his hair. Ai was more than content with Rin's proximity. Grateful for it, even; he borderline preens into the touch that is now given to him so freely. Ai doesn't have a clue how long or how many times such a thing is going to be dolled out to him as if this affection between them has been there for years - but even outside of his rumination, Ai was never one for half-measures anyway. Every brush of his hair, every arm around his shoulder, every minute spent helping him with his English, every text answered, there wasn't a single ounce of it Ai ever took for granted. He surely would not start taking it for granted now, dubious and unnamed.
He reaches up for Rin's hand so that he can bring it toward his lips, where Ai kisses him sweetly on the inside of his wrist. Relinquishes his hold and finally makes good on that sense of self-consciousness by reaching over to drag the sheets over his lower half, careful so as not to let it touch his sullied belly. Rin was fully clothed, looked about ready to leave; Ai was still nude and splayed on his bed. In equal measure he felt silly and exposed.]
I still have to wash off, [Ai murmurs, sitting up enough that he can perch his chin on top of Rin's shoulder, bright blue eyes close in proximity, giving clear outline to his gratitude, his ardor, and his apprehension all. Suddenly he can't get the words off his tongue, because he doesn't want to imply either way, but. Finally he manages through something of a mutter,] will you stay?
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Date: 2025-10-09 04:34 am (UTC)Ah… [ he starts, his hand flexing very slightly at the question. No. That’s not really what he wants to say. Strangely, his heart skips a beat. ] I, uh… [ His hand combs through the part in his wet hair, unable to look at Ai but feeling his gaze poignantly. ]
I have some time but, Gou expected me yesterday… [ He wouldn’t admit it easily, but of course he had been excited to spend time with his sister when he got back. With the same tone he tried to speak with before, he hesitates: ] Listen, uh...
I’m supposed to be heading to mom’s new place tomorrow for a few days. She’s a little closer to Tokyo now, but it’s still a few hours on the train.
But, [ Say it. ]
I’ll let you know when I’m back, Ai. [ His eyes turn, meeting Ai’s cerulean gaze as he speaks his lover’s name. Rubies flash as he holds that connection as long as he can. ] We can, [ but again, he looks away, a small flush in his cheeks as he tries to say the words, ] I dunno. We’ll figure something out.
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Date: 2025-10-09 01:53 pm (UTC)So he could gnash his teeth and beg and cry, but. Rather than fall to that moment's anxiety, Ai finds something far more aggressively familiar: his empathy. That which has propelled him forward with Rin for years. The deep understanding that Rin's world is so big, and that even if there's lots he won't say, Ai's ready to understand. He's ready to trust, even if it kills him a little.
His head lifts from Rin's shoulder, enough to smile at him sincerely.]
Your sister probably misses you very much. Good luck trying to explain to her why you're late, [he teases, expertly weaseling between the space of Rin's expected itinerary and the detour Ai's taken him on; he held no shame, so had nothing to be shy about, after all.
He listens when Rin's tone falls to something closer, more sincere. And it's like a sixth sense or an otherworldly instinct, really, the way Rin seems stuck and the way Ai immediately wants to fix it. The smile he pulls is reassuring, and unhurried, and unconditional. And it's given to Rin without hesitation.]
Don't forget to check in with Sousuke-senpai, too. Ah, and I know Tachibana-san and Nanase-san were asking about you. [We'll see each other soon. Overtures weren't Ai's specialty, but making the explicit known through the implicit? That he could do.
... But. In case Rin doesn't get it, Ai's smile turns a touch softer, trying to seek out those beautiful ruby eyes one more time.]
Take your time, Rin-senpai.
[Ai's then sitting back on his haunches and gently patting Rin's shoulder, encouraging him to get up and finally break the seal on their peace.]
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Date: 2025-10-10 09:54 pm (UTC)...Yet, it was because he knew it would become this, wasn’t it?
He’s a fool for avoiding the warmth he wanted too badly. Whatever easing up Ai offers him, Rin doesn’t move, staring back at him for an eternity. With a small lean, Rin brushes his hand over Ai’s thigh and rests it against the mattress on his opposite side. Infinity might be too much for him now, but he knows he feels his heart tug hard in Ai’s direction. ]
You should worry more about yourself, [ he chides, the edge missing in his voice. Rin leans in, meeting Ai’s lips for a kiss. Many kisses, pouring affection over him like promises he’s too worried to make. ]
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Date: 2025-10-10 10:20 pm (UTC)Rin will find Ai smiling against his lips. Somewhere between the fourth or fifth, Ai's hand comes up to cup the side of Rin's face. And even when they naturally pull apart again, Ai doesn't let go quite yet. His thumb strokes over the high of Rin's cheek, and Ai does battle with the churning in his gut; the premature grief of having to see Rin go. Because if he can't handle this much, how in the ever-loving hell will they ever make it work?
It's for this exact reason his words are spoken as much to Rin as they are himself:]
This much we're used to, right? I know I'll be okay.
[Before doing them both the favour of finally bringing his hand back to himself.
... Okay. Ai leans up to steal one last kiss, slow and even, before settling down on the bed again. The smile he wears is almost offensive and insulting in how bright it is.]
I'll text you later.
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Date: 2025-10-11 06:52 am (UTC)Their lips separate, and he sees Ai there, again, his body bare and beautiful in the morning light. He thinks… surely, this is falling in love for the first time. I know I'll be okay. ] Ai... [ A name. A sentiment. He leans into the hand on his cheek just as it disappears. The air where it sat is far, far too cool.
For one that one last kiss, Rin bows his head and laughs, his cheeks brightened red. His eyes cast a moment at Ai, smirking at his handsome smile. ] For sure.
[ Guess this is where he gets out of Ai’s hair finally? Not that either of them want that. He hesitates to stand, but does. But he won’t leave without reaching down to ruffle that sweet head of his, already a mess from sex and sleep. ]
See you, [ He’s certainly not brave enough for a lover’s goodbye. Not yet, at least. But all of this should suffice. He gives a cool wave as he heads out of the bedroom.
If Ai is quiet, he might hear Rin fussing a little bit in the kitchen, who noticed that he forgot to drink most of his tea the night before. Oops. Ai will find the two cups soaking in the sink later. ]
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Date: 2025-10-11 04:18 pm (UTC)The world sure did not stop spinning just because Ai had the lights kissed out of him, and certainly not because every few hours, minutes, a mental flash of ruby red eyes and intention behind them would cross his mind's eye. Every step he took to and from the pool or from class was jarring in its neutrality; lighter for having seen and been with Rin, heavier for having to say good-bye for now. But daily routine keeps him busy enough, and the times he can't tamper his through-the-roof pining, shooting a quick text or writing a new
entrylog into hisdiaryobservation journal helped abate it, somewhat. Though this much Ai was used to, too; the physical gnaw in his chest a familiar friend from years ago.Sousuke is the first to ask if Ai's seen Rin since the group's night at the market, and Ai has to try and kill the smile that threatens to bisect his face in two. Like a dutiful friend, Ai tells him Rin's back home for now, and nothing more.
They text often. Ai spends a non-negligible amount of time backreading older conversations, and maybe it's rose-tinted glasses, but he cannot help but feel they both might be spending much more time thumbs to screen than they had previously. He's on Shimogami's campus ambling from the library to Somewhere he can settle down with his books; the weather was nice enough for it, and it was rare Ai was granted time like this midday. It's then he feels his phone vibrate-- and keep vibrating. Ai quickly hurries to the side of the walkway and answers his phone on about the fourth or fifth ring,]
Rin-senpai?
[It would be borderline impossible to miss the smile in his voice; Ai clasps the phone to his cheek with both hands.]
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Date: 2025-10-11 09:25 pm (UTC)His mom moved to be closer to family – reasonable, now that both him and Gou had left the nest – with his Dad nearly 15 years passed away, Iwatobi meant somewhat less. The photos Rin sends are snapshots of him with his family, a motif of long red hair shared between them, besides his grandmother. His cousins are younger enough than him that it shows. A lot of them look like Gou was sneaking shots.
Gou is the first to notice how often he texted and, after enough pestering, Rin growled his admission: he’s seeing Ai. If anyone should know first, Gou really wasn’t the worst. Actually, probably the best – although she gladly teased him and asked a few too many questions than he was willing to answer, it’s thanks to her smokescreen that he’s able to tear himself away for a little time to, well, embarrass himself. He’s not sure he
Ring. Maybe he should have texted first before calling?
Ring. He rubs the spot over his heart, annoyed that he’s nervous. It’s been, what, four days since he’d seen him?
Ai picks up. ] Hey, Ai! [ he answers, a warmth in his voice that lived in him as a youth but took time to find again. ]
Is now a bad time?
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Date: 2025-10-11 09:41 pm (UTC)Actually, when was the last time we talked just for the sake of it?
Not that Rin can see it, but Ai shakes his head and makes a small noise to pair with it, eyes scanning his immediate surroundings for anywhere to sit,]
No! Not at all-- sorry, you just caught me as I was walking.
[Ai jogs a little to approach some benches he spots along the walking path just ahead, conveniently shaded under some trees that tower over the pavement from the greenery. His hand curls against the fabric of his shirt right above his chest, and it certainly isn't for the sudden physical expense.]
How is your sister? How's Matsuoka-san? Actually, just yesterday I called my mom, and I told her you were back here for a little while. [Ai's relationship with his parents was both extremely close and complicated in equal measure, but given the role Rin's played in his teen years, it only made sense he's mentioned Rin a handful of times to his family and they recognized the name.] She sounded excited to hear it.
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Date: 2025-10-13 07:07 am (UTC)Hah--? What are you doing telling your mom about me? [ There’s a certain pursed-lips quality to his words that peeks through the call.
He’s sure he’s never told his mom about Ai – except he definitely has and just thinks he’s too cool to gush about some dorky roommate he had in high school and entrusted his swim team with no big deal. ]
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Date: 2025-10-13 02:23 pm (UTC)[Ai pulls his phone away from his ear to stare at it, because Rin may as well have just asked him what colour the sky is. Ai blinks, brings his phone back to his ear, and responds with a level of earnestness and shamelessness that only a guy like him could muster,]
We lived together for a whole year, Rin-senpai! Of course she knows who you are. More than that, she remembers you from the few high school competitions she was able to come spectate.
[She doesn't know about-- them. From Ai's mouth, no one does. Not for shame or want of hiding their new nameless frontier, but because overtures didn't come to him easily, and if he's honest, it seemed unnecessary. But Nitori-san absolutely knows Rin's full name, and that he has a sister and a mother, and that he was in the top tenth percentile for academics at Samezuka, and that he lived in Australia for a few years, and...]
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